Once again
I’m the *****
For not being
Your Barbie doll

Last weekend, I climbed Yosemite.
Last night, I went to a bar for the first time.
Today, my boss reminded me to send a presentation draft.
This morning.
.
This morning.
.
This morning, the boy who nearly ***** me months ago.
.
Apologized.
.
He sent me an email, so I wouldn't have to see him.
I've left it marked unread, despite reading it twice.
.
I don't know what or whether to respond to him.
I don't know what I'm supposed to feel.
.
This was months ago, and I haven't thought about him in at least a month.
.
He writes that he didn't apologize earlier partly for fear of making things worse.
Is this "things made worse," this panic and reminder?
?
Dear boy,
I know how you felt then, and I don't know what I feel now.
.
Sorrow.
.
Thank you for the apology.
I don't know if I can forgive you.
.
I hope you are well.
.
Best wishes.
Emily.

When my brother
Slams me
BAM
On the cabinet
His arms on my neck
GASP

It is the fault of our cultures
The years we’ve spent chipping at each other
***** *****
He with curses and volume
Me with ivy vined words
rustle

When I come back from the Ivy tower I’ve gardenened
Shoom!
When he come back from his wall of sound
Crash!

My words are more poisonous
His anger is more violent
Together
We tear each other apart.

RIP

The man invites me to his midnight walk
He’s having a rough night.

We walk through freezing cold
To a destination never right.

The circles our feet pace
Mirror his spinning mind.

And I am kept heart running
As I match his pace in kind.

I’ve walked too many of these walks
To think yours is benign.

For I can say, that none have ever
Left us healthy fine.

Don’t lead me on another chase
After the shadows of men.

I’m putting my foot down firm.
I will not walk again.

The aliens who had teleported into my room asked me a question.

        When had I last seen the stars?

I answered truthfully that I’ve stayed up late many nights, when the stars come out.

“But when had you last seen them?” They insisted.

It wasn’t for stargazing that I was up late, I admitted to them. Besides, there’s too much light in the city for the stars to shine here.

It must have been several years ago, when I was a little girl and my father showed me Orion’s belt, the last time we were camping in the middle of nowhere.

         They teleported me to space.

The stars were gone. And I hadn’t noticed.

       They teleported me back to my room, because there was nothing to see. I went back to my studies. It was still night.

Three tears dripped out of my eyes. I finally stared out of the window as they fell.

Orion’s belt shone brightly back at me.

Forget houses or apartments
I call three cities home.
Drop me in one of these
Disparate points on a map
And I know I belong.

Just as I can’t commit to one life project
Too in love with everything I do
You can’t receive a straight answer
When you ask me to choose.
Where do you call home?

Why not call everything on this planet home?
Why not call my loved ones my home?
Why not call the slivers of neighborhoods
Forests, mountains, deserts familar to me home?
Why not call it a state of mind, not of place.

Though the three cities are thousands of miles apart,
They form one map for me
My home.

Leaving them never gets easier
Friends and family, teachers and babysat kids.
When you live apart from them
You live in two different worlds

Constantly:
The world
                                  where you are
and
                                                      The world
where your heart is

When you love people and things in both worlds
Remember you'll visit the other
Forget that their lives will have changed
You have to keep your mind here                for now.