Pulsing
Racing
Blood pumping
I can feel it
As I lay next to you

Rhythm
We are one
Listen to our heartbeat
Ticking away

Wanting love
Acceptance
To be free of the suffering
Screaming in the dead of night
For the angels to come
Guiding me to a burning light

Chimes sounding off in the wind
Serenity for the sane
Bashing against the wall
Blood stained clothes
Broken limbs, broken hearts
Fragile

Stars shining light years away
Too far
Never reaching those dreams once held
Explosions shattering windows
Hearts collapsing

A night to remember
When the world stopped spinning
And Heaven's gates opened up
Pausing if inferno is an answer
To all the ******

Asking for more
Attempting to borrow some time
Only to come up empty handed
Nonstop addiction
Unable to quit the high
A feeling to last forever
Craving to get one more taste
More, more, more

The insults and cruelness
Were a constant reminder of how life worked
Tolerant of it all
A constant reminder of how this life was
I left home for a week
Seven days away from the insults
Given by friends who mean nothing now
I found a new home
But my home was sold without warning
And after a break in life
From this place I knew as hell
I realized home was where I went to
Not here where I was a fool
For lies that were guaranteed
For scars that would never heal
I found my Heaven
Ascended from my personal Hell
Now I know a place I call home

Carrying the burden of others
Listening to trouble tales
Never ending
Always sought to be the wise one
Why bother coming here
When you're only going to break your heart
Life is so hard for you
Love will never find you
So many woes you talk of
Blame everyone but yourself
Your inaction is your demise

I really don't want to hear about your love
And I really can't take anymore of it
So give me a reason not to be here
When I am reminded of you
And I can't take the smile you wear
When mine is completely fraud
I'm sure you don't care
And I'm sure you love breaking me
And I'm sure
I'd  love to burn those photos of us
Nothing left for us
And I ain't in love with you anymore
Because I'm sure I can move on
Crossing my fingers to be rid of this same ****
I keep for falling for it
And the fairy tales were meant for us when we were kids
This is reality
And it came crashing down
Because you're never consistent
Tired of the same old ****
With your distance
Tired of the same old ****
With your cold heart
And I keep falling for the same old ****
So give me a reason to be here
When there's nothing here for me

Diving deeper into you
Feeling the roughness of your skin
Pressed against mine
A look, a touch
Sends me to my knees
Crashing against the cold dirt
Sinking beneath the surface
Slipping into darkness
Burning with passion
Fleeing from advances of creatures I know not of
Whispering hush hush
To silence the sounds of my heart
For love is a dangerous game
Be still my blackened heart
For you do not need to change
Just place barbed wire across the fences you built
Hush hush I say to my brain
Because logic sees the reasoning
Yet I do not need to listen to the voices in my head
As I can plunge farther into myself
Causing no more pain
No love to give or receive
Hush hush I say to myself
As I let go of all reason to stay afloat

In the dark there was light
A tiny shimmer of hope dancing in the dark
Hope flowing
Serenity calming
Peace in the air
Silence was eternal bliss

I believe your words
Your charm and seductive glares
Your angelic voice
And your devilish grin
I believe that you are not evil
Lamenting you are far away
Yet your lullabies travel in light years
An eruption
Acoustic hearts played upon
Shattering the boundaries in between
Light and dark colliding
Darkened skies, bright moon
Waiting for dawn
I believe stars will implode
And black holes fade
Dreaming a reality
Reality a dream
I believe you are imaginary
But physical
A vessel that floats in midair
Lowering an anchor in my heart
A pirate stealing my heart
I believe my world has been enlightened
With the presence of you
I believe white diamonds shimmer
With your rainbow colored eyes
I believe in you
I believe in love
I believe in places never visited
I believe in eternal memories

Is it really any use to worry
I can't have you
I never can
Why do I worry about you
Sometimes you're never around
Sometimes you never listen
Worrying didn't ever bother me before
That was until I met you
You've changed the rules
Now I worry constantly
Are you sick?
Are you alright?
Are you better when I'm not around?
Why do I worry
When I can't have you

The seams were coming undone
My heart was fragile now
Any little thing could cause me to fall apart
Becoming a broken piece of art
Shattered

From everything to nothing
Beginning with an end
Love without hate
Hurt with no pain
Live without regret

Where has time gone by?
I cannot even fathom where I spent my days
Or where I will be
This illusion has held me prisoner far too long
I shall break free from this hallucination
And seek out time to spend

In my eyes you are God
In my heart you're the one I love
And even if you're not the one
Nothing changes the way I feel about you

And when I feel like giving up
I always remember that you've never given up
And I'll rise to meet the challenge
Just like you

When I'm feeling down
You're always there to cheer me up
And make me laugh no matter what
Something deep inside us
Is a connection

Sometimes when I'm crying
My mind wanders to the thought of you
And all tears stop flowing
Smiles begin to form into one happy grin

The thought of you never makes me frown
Not once
Because of you
I stand strong of who I am
And live a happy life

But seeing you with someone else
Makes me want to cry in front of you
And tell you I'm broken
And you're the only one who can fix it

No one else will tell you my feelings
But me
Rumors will spread about my love for you
And all of it will be true
But I wish I was the one
Who could tell you my emotions

Without you I'm lost
A perfect illusion in my own world
Where everything is right

But in my dream
All of it's an illusion
Because without you
Nothing is real
The thought of you never in my life
Makes suicide enter the mind
Not giving life a second chance

To be lost in a world
Without love, and hope
Would be like a suicide mission
Full of sorrow and despair
Regretting the past and the present
And what'll be of the future

But as of right now
It seems like a wonderful thing
You're off somewhere
And I'm stuck here
Daydreaming of the days I have to wait till I see you
The classes we have together
But always afraid to tell you how I feel
Afraid of how I feel about you

My love for you
Threatens our friendship
Which might be gone already
But we'll always remember our first love
Won't we?

I'm terrified of loving you
Because not many people make me feel this way
Especially not you
And over the years I developed feelings for you
Which I tried to hide very well
Until you guessed my affection for you

But as of right now
I just want to cry
While you hold me
And whisper in my ears that everything will be fine
Our heartbeats matching each others

I want my first kiss to be with you
In the rain
And never let anyone else
Share that memory but us
Unfortunately it is forbidden love
For us to share that kiss
By religion and others
But I don't care what others view me as

No one should know about that kiss
But us freely
And we won't speak of it
Because it'd ruin the moment and the memory
Of having a first kiss

And hopefully there will be a second kiss
One of the more passionate kisses known to man
And until our love for each other becomes real
It'll remain a dream of mine
A mere illusion in my fantasy world

Because it doesn't matter who you love
It's that you love...

Godly figure
True love perhaps
Perhaps not
Giving up is not an option
Taking chances to impress
Blue until I see you
A laugh when you are near
Maybe a connection
Tears
The thought of you can make me smile
Broken and fragile when you are gone
Lost in an illusion just to have false hope
Terrified of love
Rarely will I experience this again
Love is all that is needed
Regardless of it all

You say I'm not the rulemaker
I'm just tired
An old routine
I'm all to used to
Too many sorry's
Not enough from you
The same old pity card
Tired of the same ruse
The same old you
You say we're the ones who hate
Who want you gone
All I want is a little sincerity
A little concern
I'm not the only one

Cannot tell you how I truly feel
Keep this secret for as long as I can
Never going to tell you
Not a soul to speak to
Hard to be subtle
Taking a chance
To be in your favor

The bright light fading into darkness
The grass slowly dying
Loading the revolver
Playing russian roulette
Guessing as to whom will die
Or live
For at this moment in time
All shall perish
And none shall live to tell
Worrisome no more
Love is meaningless
Pain is all that matters
From innocent things
To trivial matters
Nothingness
Neglected
Once loved, now no more
Living in the shadows
Eternally ****** to numbness
In a dark place I roam
Seeking nothing
Only for a match to light my path

You consume my mind
Your presence is in my soul
Always in my head

Nighttime
Sleepless once more
State of mind: morose
Fragile being
Eyes, bloodshot
Jittery
Dark circles
Going around and around
Paleness
Exhaustion
Greetings insomnia
Welcome to my humble abode
Stay for the night
Let us begin a game of will
And see who shall be victor

Uncared for
Left unattended
Lying on the floor
Arms stretched out too far
Entering the darkness
Diving into my mind
Farther into the abyss I created
Trying to destroy the innocence that is left
Trap myself in this snare
Capture the remnants of a former self
Love.
Where did I lose track
Fallen into temptation
Grabbing at the edges, grasping onto sanity
Debating if it is worth it
To pull or let go
And fall

When yesterday became today
When ****** was justified
When you disappeared into thin air
Lights dimmed
Only a flame flickering in the wind
When the skies opened
And a horn blew
When last words were not spoken
Memories haunting
Forever eternal
A veil placed over the world
I remember

When the world hushed
Except a shriek of anger
Except endless tears
When the music stopped
But angels sang lullabies
When the flood came and gone
Leaving a barren mind
Helplessness and numbness
When a heart skipped a beat
And life left you
I remember

When your liberator came
When it was time
When the sky turned gray
When the world stopped
I remember

Her Heartbeats defining my expenses
Dominating what I can hear
Water being marketed
With special additives

Lost in this world
Where getting by
Involves selling my soul
The devil having the upper hand

And I sold myself
To be relatively unknown
Within a known circle

False hope entered my heat
Bittersweet lies you gave me
Mind going blank

Lost time
Thoughts stirring
Racking my brain for a final solution

Drunk
Exposed to all the elements
Let me be numb
Let your memory part

Drunk
Hidden in the dark
Away from society
Into a black hole

Drunk
Nonstop rain
Drowning out the world
Drowning the festivities

Drunk
Alone
Drunk
Again
Drunk
The last drop of the first bottle

Je t'aime mon ami
Je ne sais pas pourquoi
Une triste histoire d'amour
C'etait ca le fin mot de l'histoire
Immense chagrin
C'est pourquoi
Etre a bout de forces pousser des cris
Je t'aime
Pour rien au monde
Mourir de chagrin
Ce n'est pas sorcier

Judge me dearly
Intoxication is my daily routine
Presumed high at times
Will - the power to judge isn't yours
Traveled that mighty high path that you seem as right
Expecting much from one
Isn't always how it seems
Judgement day has come
I'm gone while you are in
Limbo

we sat next to each other
anxiety high

                                     hands almost close
                                                 almost

smiles exchanged
little glances here and there

                                                          there for another
                                                          to celebrate
                                                          drinks, food
                                                          tables abuzz

                         but i couldn't take you from my gaze

your brown eyes
your gentle smile
the way you held your hands
               close to your chest

                                       the drive home
i kindly asked you to
                                        
                                            "i suppose"
was enough for me

the lights of the town blurred
as we reminisced
passing cars as we stopped for gas
laughs as we indulged in candy and ice cream

didnt anticipate to be home soon
we sat in the car for what seemed like hours
i was happy to just be there
with you in silence

last night
i wish i would have said more
"i suppose"
was enough for me

Should I just move on
Should I stay the same
Let myself be overwhelmed with guilt
As easy it is to move on
It is impossible to do so
The love and bond between us
Hard to break
So why go on
Knowing I let go of you

With many promises
The wind will carry us
Every day is a journey
Filled with uncertainty
One step at a time
Admiring the beauty life has to offer
And the joys we receive
Life is a miraculous thing

Forever and ever
Traveling in light years
I can see you gliding past me
Like a shooting star
I wish for you to come back
For you to stop
Only to say I love you
But you're traveling
Too fast, too far

Shine on and on
Forever and ever
Visit moons I cannot name
See the cosmos unexplored
Light years have taken you away
To a place I long to be

Love is in the air
To feel that eternal bliss
Longing for someone

It was love at first sight
Everything you said was true
"Come here," you said
"You are a star...my star
My darling, I love you"

Far, far away
Love in the time of trouble
A past shrouded by pain pressured on
Difficult to imagine
But so easy to find love

Far away
There is a land
Only one knows
The true meaning of love
For a lover, and also a child

To know him
Is to gather trust
Friendship a must
All smiles and genial
To know a boy, a friend, a lover, a father