Stargazing
:  the quality or state of being absentminded

I was staring at the stars above
Looking at those dead stardust
Not a thing would ever last
Even the curse of lust

It was a cold stormy night
I was drunk, you blurred my sight
That day I was the stage
And you were my fright

My ears were ringing,
My heart was racing
Nauseous to your scent
Oblivion of the dangers ahead

Your lips was an incense
Mine was a flicker of fire
Have I cited your eyes?
It was feisty cold as ice

I was murmuring my agony
The nightmares of my country
I have disputes my self
Fighting inside my head


Set yourself free, you said
You're no living dead
I woke up lying on the wrong bed
I dreamed again instead

A soldier in war raging
I've always been longing
For that piece of piece
And a subtle kiss

I'm mourning for my lost poem
Which took ages to hone
After which I was alone
Feeling the heat of my burning bones
I can't remember every word
But those were the treasures I hoard
In my heart, in my mind always aboard
I fail save to it for the last time
Disconnected from the world
My forgetfulness became its death

I'm so frustrated, I want..

I want to see you face to face
I want hold your hand
I want to embrace you
I want to be with you when you cry
I want to cheer you up when you're giving up
I want to know you
I want to kiss your lips
I want to love you
I, I want to have you
I want to meet you
I want to tell you how I knew you
I want you to know I'm in pain because of you
I want you to see how happy I am that you exist
I want to.. but I cant

While writing an academe paper
I thought, why not do this later?
For my mind worries about the noises
The galloping of the horses inside my chest!

I wait for them to sleep
Before I could write
I wait for them to subside,
The horsemen, to finish the fight

They were the maybes that hunts me down
The consenquences of running away,
Were the pain caused by my heart's decay
That enslaved me like I was its own

What a fool I was to see this wrong
When  a vicious bear interrupts a campfire song
I hide inside the circle I drew myself
Finding comfort in isolation

While the bear, all along was inside me
The fear I sealed back when I was child
That wherever I hide they'll never find me
It was my loss that I didn't come out
When they finished the game and it was was over

Now that I became a little older
You became the drunkenness
I still wasn't over
Whom I cannot talk about sober

Someone's peeking behind my back
I was always afraid for them to see my thoughts
Someone's intruding the along the block
I feel uneasy so I constantly turn my back

See? I am making these excuses
Wasting my brain juices
With useless poems you may not read
For what a mouth could it feed?

Do you know how busy i am?
You'll never know
Do you know i fancy you so much?
You'll never know

I have no time for metaphors
For I am running behind a deadline
It runs over me
I'd like to pour my heart
But I am too empty
To fill you

I have no time to think of you
Regret the things i do beforehand whenever i fall
I have no time to mourn for you
Expecting a miraculous anonymous call

Maybe i was just bewildered with the idea That someone as you exist
Somehow I'll meet you before the world resists to cease
For I was made to believe that it is not vast
And I wish you'll be the last

Maybe i was just amused by your alluring charm, your funny words, your moves
That make my heart skip with the beat of the bass
Maybe I was just curious how your cherry lips taste
How it'll compliment the bitterness of my mouth

Maybe i was just being giddy, irrational human
Who seeks love and affection
Maybe you just excite me so much
Maybe we just share the same thoughts, we like the same activities and people and ideologies

maybe that's it
maybe... no, i hope
i hope i am not fallen into trance again
i hope, not

two ingredients into falling inlove;
cologne and caffeine