Good Heart

Can I sit on the couch with you and watch tv?
Can we laugh and tell jokes, late into the night?
Can we play music and sing old songs we enjoy together?

Can we be more than acquaintances
I don’t want to be a friend of friend
I want to love you
I want you to be mine

Can we love each other?

Do I even know what I am saying
when I say I love you
and I want to enjoy you
Is it only what I can get?

Can we love each other?

People don’t understand our dance
“How foolish you looked today…”
But I want show you
I want them to have you too

Can we love each other?

I know you will curl up around me
when I cry in the bed
You have given me peace before
when I am confused you’ll do it again

Can we love each other?

When I said I wanted to see your face
You showed me a glance
but then hugged me from behind
You want closeness and to have my back

Can we love each other?

You smell like memories
in perfume and *****, stale water
You look like freedom in a hospital
You feel sunshine on a snow day

Can we love each other?

You sound like more
than I have been willing to hear
I don’t want to just get you
I want to have you

Can I love you?
the one who delights in such funny things
Can I love you?
the one who likes to buy fake flowers with me
Can I love you?
when I don’t fully understand you

Then you say, "Remember, you have a good heart"

I put on my gloves
and my yard work clothes
I am in your garden
You see all the roots
Tell me where they are
Let the light show
  what is in the soil
The weeds will be uprooted
to shrivel up and die
in the Light
the poisonous weeds
   that don’t belong

I am your garden
I am here in the soil
You guide me in what to plant,
when to plant,
Where...
you know the time to seed,
the time to water,
to sow, and to harvest

I will chase away the foxes
that try to come in the garden
Light, shine on every inch
so that the sweet fruit can flower,
Blossom and grow
Keep me from tripping
over gnarled roots
that have pushed up through the ground
The gnarled roots of bitter fruit trees
Expose it, dig it up
Before it can grow
Only what is good will take root
Deep roots
I am good soil
The Light shines on me

My whole heart is known by you
I am your gem
Your ruby
Your beloved...
You are my First Love
my completion
All I have known until now
was built on Your love
then you took me deeper
then you unlocked another fountain
within your secret garden in me
What have you done?
No one fills me like this
May all who you love
see what we see
you love us all the same
What a mystery you are my love
Showing me places
I didn’t know were inside me
You are my capacity
Infinitely expanding

Right here
this place
every where I turn
is a tender subject
my heart is heavy
from all the pressure applied
Right here
is where I would cave in
to the thousands of pounds I carried
I would give up and be crushed
Defeated

I am here again in that place
Shoved in a corner
Coiled into the fetal position
Trying to curl myself around my heart
that feels so fragile

But if I just decide not to close my eyes
If I just remember to look up
I will see you there
and I remember how you fight
If I just remember what you said
and I let your truth
fall from my lips
Your words turn into
a flaming sword
that pure fire truth
exposes the enemy
who hid in people’s words
who clothed itself in betrayal
the enemy who lived
in well crafted lives
that deceive and destroy
Fire burn!
Great sword cut down!
My battle cry:
Miracles happen through me!

I didn’t even know
that knot had formed
in my belly
until I let go
Ever so slowly
cords of lies
tried to tangle
to tie a noose around me
There Is Freedom
in an apology
when the honest word child
of self awareness and selflessness
come together
she is a beautiful creation
to behold
You can feel love breathe
as your diaphragm
can expand fully
No more tangled cords
constricting the truth

Cherish me in Your thoughts
      You always do
Your plans won’t be wasted on me

You love me intensely
Like a fire, slowly burning
Soft wood down to coals
Coals that will always burn

I’m satisfied in my heart
I know what You have for me
Freedom to live it right
Sweet secrets of love
and the endless future of love

Love is your theme always
It is your reason, always
I always wondered
what glory looked like
It looks like the reason

You are perfect
Nothing surprises or shakes You
No one takes a step
in any direction
You didn’t anticipate

What is the best
that You anticipate
for me?

I will keep the angels busy
I will say what has been done
I will say it is worth doing
You are worth it
You are worthy

You are not a habit;
an empty religious practice
You are the living Love;
Creator and Savior
You live outside of time
Help me not confine you
by small thinking

You are bigger than my current imagination
A truth that comforts me
If all I can think is all there can be
How small a world it would be

“Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord Almighty!
The earth IS filled
with His glory!”

Lord have Your way in me
may I never think a thought You would not entertain
when Your words are spoken
when I hear Your voice
the seas are calmed
my thoughts stop spinning
the puzzling pattern that leads to destruction is ceased
only You can do that
only love can do that
every answer is in You
You speak to my spirit
Oh Holy Spirit, residing in me
everything in me needs more of Your presence
it changes everything
my focus is shifted to what is true
keep changing my mind
so I can always remember the goodness of God
Lord to feel Your love
Your glorious presence
is to be on a cloud
surrounded by shimmering light
I am not whisked away
but boasting in front of the enemy
as You hold my hand
nothing can touch me
nothing can shake me
Love is unbreakable
I am forever changed by the touch of love
I thought I knew love,
but You showed me there is so much more
speak Your love language through me
I repent for being selfish
I repent for being small minded
I repent for being afraid
Who am I to be afraid,
when the Lord is my brave
"Shout it louder, O Jerusalem
Shout, and do not be afraid.
Tell the towns of Judah,
'Your God is coming!'"
God, You are here now!
Forever and always just a breath away
Thank you Jesus for being my intercessor
my sacrifice
Thank you for sharing Your Holy Spirit
Forever and always God is good
He will always deliver me