I think of it, sometimes
in passing that corner. or

climbing those stairs,
two bodies entangled against

the rail. getting off
the rails. did they, too

recognise something
stranger in a stranger?

something I too thought
I had found. that night

I saw it. I was sure. the light
behind the pain. fireworks

behind closed eyelids.
ready to chase it all down

the rabbit hole. I was
already falling: Wonderland

wondering, wandering lost.
but no. it was just -

just a wet puddle
on impassive bitumen.

just a mirage. a trick
of the light.

whose light? I suppose
it was nothing, just

something very
ordinary

after all.

chin turns, shadows flit    
cobble stones murmur - do you?      
the lane forks in two

Baby, baby.
Don't look at me like you do and tell me
You're telling me?
Don't tell me you can't feel-
baby.
What are you saying? You're tripping over your own
thoughts like you don't even know they're there.
Is your mind really that dark?
Come here, come and sit by the candle with me.
Let's watch the light.
Hold my hand. I'll hold you.
I'll hold you til you don't remember my arms are there.
I'll hold you til they fall asleep,
until all the nerves cut off and I can't feel my fingertips
anymore and all my blood is being held hostage by gravity.
Baby don't pull away.
Just let me hold you, in the light now.
There,
Just like that.

Oh baby I love you.

Slides back and forth
pendulum it penduls and lums around
I find myself between two letters in a word.
My head is heavy and swinging
while my heart keeps pushing,
and my hands never stop moving

Between two points, 8-4,
9-5, 10-6 we plot ourselves X, Y, X, Y
the co-ordinates of a majority of our lives.
How many times have those numbers meant more than people?

If,
that word is a lot heavier than you'd think,
that word is a longer journey than you'd think.
Where did it take you?

Now,
We are young. It's time to move. No meant for this or meant for
that. You are what you decide to do. You are defined by your risks,
X, Y, X, Y
What is the limit of the equation?
Don't let your life pendul you.
There is no limit.

Easter Monday (2015)


The silence
It was the silence
As we entered the gates of hell.
Then…
The bird song,
It was the bird song
That chorused our way
To the well
Of tears at the wall
Of many tongues
That speak to the silence still,
Of the voices that cried
For the people who died
The void only time will fill.

The sun
It was the sun
Shining on the wooden cross.
And…
The sky
It was the sky
So blue, and flecked with the floss
Of clouds so white
So pure in light
That the wall of the well of tears
Transfigured the sin
We heap on Him
Whose loss for many
Is the only way
To feel the void time fills.

The woodpecker drummed a beat
On the trunks
Of the trees so parallel still.
A whisper of wind
That rebounds the sound
Of innumerable roll calls
Of the thousands who now
Lie deep in the cradles of mounds
Stone faced, inscribed Toten
With the number interred within
Verboten… now
But why not then?
In that world of men
And women, when humanity’s meaning
Was turned on end.
And a godless creed
That shadowed the world with grief
Which now for many,
Is beyond belief.

The stillness
It was the stillness
That gave silence the space to breathe,
To remember the times, the godless times
That now are so hard to believe.
But silence and stillness envelope the House
A silent place to be
To hear the past that shows the present
The prayers for a future that sees
What could be,
What can be
But will we
Learn, the history from then to now
To forge that future for future’s sake
And answer the question…
How?

David Applin
… late afternoon and evening of Easter Monday 6th April 2015 following a visit to Bergen-Belsen earlier in the day, completed 7th-9th April.

15th April 2015 … 70 years after the liberation of Bergen-Belsen by the British Army.

David Applin (Copyright 2015)