I went too deep and drowned
looking for a pearl, holding in my breath
pressure burst my heart
water filled my lungs
the day went dark
and it got cold
pockets full of stones, I sunk

you have to break your body first
before you find your soul
so I'm pulling my teeth out
and scratching every sore

but it is in dreams alone
where I can see the hole
and dig a little more
until I find my ghost

if by the morning I'm still whole
make sure to cut me up
break my body first
then rip apart my soul

is it cold in the water?
were you shadowed by distress?
did your void turn to wonder?
do you hurt any less?

it must have been the current
everybody said
but half the life you spent
you did already dead

I don't want to close my eyes
if the moon is smiling
and staring at the sky
doesn't make me blind
when my mind fluoresces
from between the shadows
let me stay awake
and lay bare with the night
sleep is for the worn
I am still intact

i swallowed every word
gulped down the abuse
devoured the self disgust

i ate the world whole