Al - Hello Poetry

Al Jan 2018

Church

An empty altar,
These open bibles left unfinished,
The great doors long since unopened;
I am sat alone in the pews

With only the harsh cold,
Each occasional burst of wind
Through the rusty keyhole -
My only reminder of the outside world.

Am I locked in or is it locked out?

I burrow myself into an
Inimitable twilight concealed behind
Stain glass eyes that tell a
Different tale

I blink and I’m now sat talking
To god-knows-who,
Confessing to sins that I
Have not even committed.

Lord, how I long for something more.

I am trapped inside a
Building I have no faith in,
And I sit, staring, wondering:
Is this all really real?

Al Jan 2018

Wasted Funeral

We cannot change history,
This even I know, but each day
I still sit in silence
Overthinking every single thought.
Eulogies for every memory
So that I can never forget.
The past is dead and buried, and yet
In every instant
I find myself standing
By its gravestone, recalling its
Every breath, and every broken
Dream it took with it when it passed.

And suddenly, I am no longer
Simply standing, I am sweating with
Shovel in hand, desperately digging
Into fresh ground;
There is not enough space in
Here for two of us
And even so, I fit next to the corpse
Of every moment gone
Perfectly.
The weight of the soil
Crushes my chest and I can
No longer breathe, this is
Where I belong,
Where I know,
I am coming home.

Al Jun 2017

Him

My depression lashes out in his rage;
My body wears the scars of my brain.
He grows like ivy round my rib cage
He exists in all I write, every refrain
My body cradles him like a mere child,
Nurturing him 'til he beats me for strength.
I teach him to poison every smile
He tells me that all of my hatred makes sense
He tells me I'm unwanted, unloved
There's a teardrop every time that I blink
And his signature on my arm in blood
I can't be me, he won't let me think
He will taunt me until my dying breath
For the best imitator of life is death

Al Jun 2017

***** Glass

I live in a room
With whitewashed walls
And a cloudy window
As my only source of light

Each morning I wake
To the mould growing like
Leeches, ******* the life
From my view

The windowsill is cluttered
With nothingness
A collection of my belongings
I am happy to show the world

Every day this window
Becomes more and more
Opaque, until I can no longer
Look outside

The walls seem to get closer
With each passing moment.
There is not much room
For me anymore

I scream for help
Somebody to erase the poisons
But you cannot clean ***** glass
From the outside only

I live alone
With only the shadows cast
Through my window for company.
These shadows do not make good company.

This room is all I have

Al Jun 2017

You are not terrorists because we do not feel terror

It seems the world has become somewhat darkened
Than the one where we want to be living
With your hatred and loathing and killing
I promise you'll never be pardoned
I promise we won't be disheartened
By the number of graves that you're filling
Because if you want a fight then we're willing
You really don't know what you've started
You commit atrocities far and wide
And hope the future will tell your tale
But you'll soon collapse, your foundations are frail
These acts make us unite, we'll never divide
You try to scare us, and each time, you still fail
Terror only works if we're terrified

Thoughts go to everyone affected by these pathetic excuses for people

Al Jun 2017

Ubiquitous

We're all ******* up
In our own special way
So when you tell me this pain makes me special
I'll tell you I'm ill

I'll tell you that every day
My ribs feel like collapsing
Because my chest is not strong enough
To take the daily beating

I'll tell you that fighting
Fire with fire has formed embers
Within that torch my soul
I am burned out

And as the demons
Take up residence in my mind
My thoughts are evicted
Until there's nothing left behind

Each capillary sliced gifts thousands of
Red flags waving their condolences
As I search for a white handkerchief to
Wave in reply

I'm not unique
Because so many others hurt just the same
I don't want to leave
But I hurt when I stay
We're all ******* up
In our own special way