I know.. it's just a season,
It's just a picture,
It's just another lingering memory,
but it's not.
Just another candid moment caught in a dim lit whirlwind,
I know, it's just a picture...
but it's not what you see that I must stress,
See that day was special,
We admired beautiful sparkles of whites and blues,
We awwed at sculptures made of ice,
We laughed,
We loved,
We're intertwined,
Stood side-by-side..
Then, SNAP
a flash,
The end result, I caught your soul,
Printed on this photograph of US,
The last photo taken of you,
With you, this was the last time that I was happy,
The last photo as a family, and the last time I saw you smile,
I know.... it's just a picture,
Painting 1000 words to choke on, then quickly swallowed,
But it's not just any picture...
This one was the last time we were a FAMILY,
The last time we were "normal,"
The last time schizophrenia allowed you to be a father and a husband,
So you see, this one was special..
THIS WAS THE LAST TIME I WAS HAPPY.

The rain keeps falling,
It's pooling at my feet,
It's also washing, **** it's clearing away all my dreams,
I'm left in disbelief of all the dreams that were piling at the gutter of my defective will,
I tell myself look just chill one day your will, will be done,
I sit here waiting look out the window watching raindrops fall,
Oh **** it's acid rain here to burn holes thru my brain,
I cannot cope my will it drains,
It's collecting in the rain,
My melancholic state reciprocates my gloom surrounding and the soul that's cracking deep within.