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Icarus Jan 8
gender is so weird, I am in no way shape, or form a man but I'd rather be perceived that way- I am feminine but in such a sense that someone stating it makes me rot inside.

And yet, the female experience is so deeply rooted in my chest that I can’t bear to simply be an observer.

I am “he” not as a man but in the way you address a strange creature you find- and I am “she” not as a woman but as a feeling.

I am a brother to my siblings yet a sister to a stranger- I am a boy but I still have an ache in my bones telling me to run when alone with a man, I still have a hair tie that does not belong to me on my wrist, I still see a part of me in every girl I see walk by.

I am not blue and I am not pink. I'm not even purple, or a forest green. I think I am gray, I am what you get when you take it all away. there are only remnants of what once were, fingerprints on an empty frame. Each scratch on the frame tells a story, but none have a name.
I wrote this at three AM as a text message to my friend, I'm not a huge fan of it.
Icarus Dec 2024
My teeth are rotting.
My bones are sinking.
My hair is knotted and unwashed.
My stomach is hollow.

I'm wasting away, and I really should get out of this bed.
I really should brush my teeth,
Take a shower,
Go outside,
Eat some food,
Drink some water.

I'm wasting away, but this bed is warm.
Icarus Dec 2024
I will never meet the expectations you have of me.
While I grow to reach them, they grow faster.
They grow like vines,
Twisting.
Squeezing.
Climbing.
Suffocating.
Constricting.
­They strangle me, and I cannot fight them off.
Cannot bear to appear less than them.
I.
Will.
Not.
Be.
Less.
But it seems it is too late for that.
I am always less
To you.
Icarus Dec 2024
Why must I be
E
N
  O
   U
     G
      H
For you?

What is
E n o u g h?

I am sorry I am
Unsatisfactory.
I will change, I swear.
Let me change.
H o w
D o   I

C
H
  A
   N
    G
     E
      ?

Help me change.
Help me be who you want me to be.
Help me be the person I am not.
Help me be the better person, the other version of me.
Help me change.
HELP
ME.

Help me, so I can be good enough for you.
Good enough for them.
Good enough for myself.
Icarus Dec 2024
consumed

Let me make you whole again.
Let my blood quench your thirst and my flesh fulfill your hunger.
Let me be part of you.

Become something other than
Something greater than
Myself.

Peal my exterior and strip me of my identity,
For I am nothing if not helpful.
Willing.
Selfless.

I must be those things because if I am not,
Who will ******* soul?
Who will find me desirable?

What am I if not consumed?

— The End —