Oh what a wish it is
To have a wish come true

Oh what I'd wish for
If I could just have one

Maybe to see you just again
To laugh with you once more

Maybe to talk to you again
Play with toys together

Oh what a wish it is
To have my childhood friend be my friend once more.

I can't speak
I can't breathe
I can't see
My life as it is

My mind changes it all
Seemingly on purpose
And breaks my sanity
Bit by bit

At night I imagine cruel scenarios
That makes it hard to sleep
So I just lay there
Listening to them

During the day I seem to hear the most
Especially at school
I only hear the whispers of me
And the laughs are cruel

Throughout my life
I hear these disgusting voices in my head
Why can't I just stop listening
And make up my own instead?

I look around at the vast blue sky

Little white clouds sprinkled all over

A big yellow sun bright enough to blind you.

I look down at the blades of grass

Millions spread for miles.

I think about the big cities, and all the people on Earth.

And I think about how big the universe is.

And I think about all the big people who changed this big big world.

And I'm reminded how little I am.

How far would you go,

To save me from jumping
Off the highest bridge

To save me from crying
Almost every night

To save me from screaming
Until my lungs give out

To save me from people judging
My self-love out

How far would you go

To help me
Before it's too late

Our hearts are cold voids
Yearning to be filled
Yearning for some life form
To help us out

Our souls are blacker than midnight
Waiting to be helped
Needed some distraction
To help us become filled

Our minds are raging storms
No ending to be seen
Constantly breaking us down
Piece, by piece

Our bodies are a temple
That's what they say
But we still cut
Almost everyday

These are the things
No one seems to understand
They think we can be fixed
But the truth is, we probably never can

If our body could talk, what would it say?

Would our legs complain
About walking all day?

Would our eyes scream
At some things we have seen?

Would our arms talk
All day, non-stop?

Would our ears cry
At the things we hear and try?

Would our stomachs yearn
For food, maybe just a little more?

Is your mind silent
Either calm or numb?

Or is it screaming
Just waiting to be told
That it's okay?

I swallow air, as I'm pulled back under
The waves force me deeper, and deeper
    I look at the beach and the fun      
Secretly wishing I could be there to

I swim above once more
As I always do
No one seemed to notice me
Well, until you

You swam out to me
As I went under
You grabbed my hand
And held me closer

You left, but more came
And soon I reached the shore
And finally, maybe
I can enjoy life some more

I know you may leave,
And more may come
But I still love you guys
No matter what.

Fairy lights
Hung on the wall

I'd count each one
So bright and small

They look just like the stars
All up in the night sky

I'd hang those on my wall
If only I were that tall

So I'll just lay down and stare
At the lights, and at the stars

And I'll dream about the brightness
Of each tiny thing

And I'll be reminded
Maybe you do care

I can't breath
My nose all stuffed

My throat itches
And feels super puffed

I feel like dying
Or throwing up

Whenever I'm sick
Or have just had enough

Drip drop
A little rain

Drip drop
The pain still stays

Drip drop
I won't take it anymore

Drip drop
A rush of blood

Drip drop
I am no more

A little girl, in her room
Playing with dolls, out of the way of all doom

The little girl, now a bit older
Carries little burden, she is sober
She runs around the house happily,
But one night, she doesn't sleep

The teen girl, still growing up
Thought she had it all figured out
Thought she would never be this stuck
But with all the sleepless nights,
And all the memories in her head
That little girl, will never be the same again.

The girl, eyes deprived of life
Lies in her room, in the dead of night
The blood rushes onto the carpet,
And onto the dolls
As the once little girl
Couldn't take it anymore

My breath is steam
As it flows from my mouth
The freezing air all around me,
Mixed with the heat of my breath

I step in the snow
And it crunches underneath
And I feel bad,
When I feel the snows pain

My steps seem to fuel the snow,
Seems to help it grow.
As do the other steps of other people,
Yet can I only feel it?

I step on the road, to avoid the snow
But others still step on it
Do they know how I feel
When they do so?

They must think walking in the snow,
Is fun and amusing,
But it they stepped in the snow with my head,
Would they continue, or would they stop?

I question this, and find myself walking
Walking towards the snow again
It hurts, even the first step
But I know I'll never escape it

For the snow knows my heart and soul

I awake to the darkness.

I can't see, I can't hear, I can't breathe
Yet I can feel the loneliness

And sadness

Inside.

In the room I sit,
Since I guess I can't
Escape so I'll just fit
In with the darkness within

Cause no one likes the sick

I awake in the light,
But I don't feel happy, nor relieved

I hear the sounds of the birds chirping, and cars passing
But I don't like it, nor do I want to breathe

I miss the peace of the dark, I miss the stillness of the night

I wish I could just stay in my dream forever
They say that'll make me go insane..



But what if I already am,
What if I'm trapped inside?

The time of getting new supplies
And buying new clothes

The time students take time
To memorize their routes

The time teachers dread,
And students too

And the time I feel most insecure,
Cause I'm around you.

Over the years I have grown my own armor
They have struck me, and embarrassed me
Now no one can see me

I'm scared to say "You're welcome" when someone thanks me
I don't know if they were sarcastic, and trying to get a laugh out of my stupidity

I'm scared to open up, in case someone is quick to judge me
Like they were quick to decide they only wanted to make fun of me

I'm scared to talk, in case my voice fails
And I fall into the black void again, just because I'm embarrased

I'm scared of all these things, but the thing that terrifies me most,
No matter how good my armor is,
I'm never going to be confident enough.

A crash of thunder, a breath...

I hear it getting closer
It seems to get heavier
I am scared, but less than before
My shoulders and body relax.

I relax.

But as soon as I got comfortable with the ghost in my room,
It left, and all was silent
Then it came back once more, louder and heavier

Yet somehow I was not prepared.

A picture is worth 1000 words,
But you are worth much more to me

You are worth 1000 stars
Spread across the universe

You are worth 1000 diamonds
Because you are the rarest of them all

You are worth 1000 pictures
Worth 1,000,000 words

You are worth 1000 more
Than you may think you are

I step on the walking stones
I don't know where they lead
I just hope they don't lead me home
Where I have planted a dangerous seed

Mama left dad and me all alone
And dad got sad and drank a lot
He walked around like a mindless drone
I tried to hide away, but I was caught

He got mad at me, and began to shout
He began to hit me, he was very mad
And in my mind, well I had no doubt
That this was my fault, that dad would never be glad

He drank more, he hit more
And mama never came back
She didn't save me from the horror
And I felt it was love I was always destined to lack

So I walk away, after very long years
On the stepping stones
Many bruises, many tears
But maybe in heaven I'll be less alone

So no matter what world, I'll love you all.

As dawn rises over the soft grass,
And soon above the tall trees
I stay inside,
And just write

As afternoon soon comes,
And dusk right after
I stay up at night,
And just write

I write emotions,
Of fear
Sadness
Happiness

I write stories,
Of struggle
Love
Hate

I write when I have no one else
To vent to,
To hang out with,
To stay inside with

I write for the public
So I can show them
How I really feel
About them

So I'll just stay inside today,
And all through the night,
So I can be happier
And just write.

All roses need thorns
For protection
From whatever comes their way

They always seem prepared.

But I'm a rose too,
Just without thorns
So why am I looked down upon?
Is it because I'm different?
I don't understand

I grew up without my thorns
So I cried a lot
They said I was a baby
But I just wasn't strong like them

Life likes to play with me

It throws things at me
Bad, mean things
But I have no thorns
And now I know why they don't like me
Why they tease me

It's because nobody likes a weakling.
And everybody loves to **** them.
From the inside out
IN TILL NOTHING IS LEFT BUT A SHELL OF A HUMAN. IN TILL THEY HAVE BROKEN HER SO MUCH, THAT SHE KILLS HERSELF. AND NOW WHAT? ARE YOU GONNA LAUGH AT THAT?

no

because they've moved on
because nobody cared about a rose without thorns
but that's okay
because she doesn't have to see you again




Lucky her.

An open-soul surgery
A judgment for my sins
Will I go to heaven?

Or suffer the wrath of hell?

I lay on the operation table
Waiting for a verdict...

"Undecided."
I don't know what that means
I ask for further explanation
They hesitate to give an answer.

Oh, that's it?
A mixed up soul.
A messed up life.

A little of every emotion,
All balled up into one.
That's what they see in my soul.

They see sin, and kindness. An even amount.
So I guess that's just me,
"Undecided."

My feet were stuck
Onto the ground
I couldn't move...
I couldn't save you

Something was blocking the way
Called my own misunderstandment
It kept me from reaching
My hand out to you

So I had to stare, as you crumbled
My best, best friend
You fell apart into pieces
Because your sadness had won

I go to a silent corner
In my closet space
To hide from the horror
That has taken place

My mom is yelling
So is my dad
But I don't know why
I was just a little kid

My daddy goes away
To his mothers house
And my mom tries to explain to me
Why daddy left us now

She says they just didn't click
It had nothing to do with me
But what my mother doesn't know
Is that she is raising a sad kid

I blame myself
For dad leaving mom
And even my sisters
Two who understood what had taken place

And in that corner
Near my art and clay
I cry in memory
Of that horrid day

Wash...
Rinse...
Repeat...

Sit...
Cry...
Weep...

Sometimes life can be a movie
With unexpected twists and turns,
But for me...

It seems to be the same game...
Over...
Over...
And over...

I adjust the temperature
Hot to cold,
Cold to hot,
But nothing seems to work.

I change my clothes
Casual to fancy,
Fancy to baggy,
But nothing seems to work.

I do my makeup
Natural or glamorous?
Glamorous or settle?
But nothing seems to work

I do these many things,
All around my home
But nothing seems to change
My lack of self love.

Let us sit together

And listen to the songs

We can look above

As we share our fears



My friends and I, we know no love

But for eachother

So--

What are we waiting for?



The first one who left,

She was so special

But her family was torn apart,

And she took the pills



She fell on the floor, oh what a sight

And with a final breath

She spoke to the night,

She said,



Look what this world did to me.

I couldn't take no more

But remember, when you look above,

I'll be looking right at you.

Don't worry-

You'll forget me.

I couldn't take the world head on

So now- I'm gone.



The next two girls,

What a future

They had...

In store



But the abuse and fear

Drove them to death,

So they cut their wrists

And said



Look what this world did to me.

I couldn't take no more

But remember, when you look above,

I'll be looking right at you.

Don't worry-

You'll forget me.

I couldn't take the world head on

So now- I'm gone.



The fourth one was so great,

But love shattered her brain

He left her

He forgot her.



She was confused, she was scared

It took all that she had, to tie

The final knot,

And look above, she said



Look what this world did to me.

I couldn't take no more

But remember, when you look above,

I'll be looking right at you.

Don't worry-

You'll forget me.

I couldn't take the world head on

So now- I'm gone.



The final girl I loved,

It was an accident

But, with my luck

She is gone...



He hurt her

He killed her

And now what do I have left?

Her final breath said



Look what this world did to me.

I couldn't take no more

But remember, when you look above,

I'll be looking right at you.

Don't worry-

You'll forget me.

I couldn't take the world head on

So now- I'm gone.



And me? Well I sit

Here writing this song.

Hoping that, my friends

Aren't gone.



Anything can happen

In a matter of seconds

I don't want to....

I can't lose you...



So please, don't leave me

Here lying awake

Just to look at the stars...



And see you

And see you...

A friend that's just... gone.

Outside me
I'm really happy!
All I do is smile!
Cause I'm always in hiding...

Long sleeves
To cover the scars...
Long sleeves
So no one can see

Smile smile
For the flashing camera
For in this world
You can't look sad

I'm happy, I'm happy!
Happy as can be
I'm so happy
So no one can see me...