Deeper, deeper I go
Searching for something inside of me
Is it happiness? Is it fear?
I couldn't tell, I don't know me

I grasp the light
And I look inside
I see little people
From my memories...

This is a happy one, they always seem to hide
They stay in my soul, away from the others
The sad ones? The scary ones? The angry ones?
Why, those are the ones inside my head

They play over and over, intill that one piece of light
Shines through and gives me happiness....
My friends and family are those lights, the ones that make me laugh...
Can't you see darling, that little light... that's you.

You've heard of clickbait?
What lures you in?
The things with all the colors?
What's all just sin?

That's her
And everything she is
It's all just...
Clickbait

She puts makeup on everyday
Makes herself look all nice and pretty
Innocent and pure
But its just a lure

She will pretend to love you
And you'll love her
But in her mind...
She wants you to cry.

She will take you in
And kick you out
Because under that mask
Is a demon of guilt

You thought she was just evil?
A girl isn't born that way
She does that only
Because it's happened to her

Over.. and over
Over... and over
Over... and over
And over again

And she's done the same
She is stuck in a loop
And she can't get out
She is scared of her self doubt

Her face is pretty
Innocent and pure
But my darling...
She is pure gore

Oh look at this
Something happened
You've created a lovely mess
That I have to clean up
And worry about

Oh look at that
I'm scared
At this lovely mess
That could hurt us
And leave us with scares

Oh look-y here
A lovely mess
Everwhere I look
And now they're mad
And I have to listen

Oh look and look
Something is happening
That's right, I'm cleaning
Up this lovely mess
You made
And I have to deal with

I run
You chase me
A classic game of tag

You tag me
We laugh
Well, you do at least

I keep running
You call after me
"Hey! You're it!"

I find a quiet forest
But you find me again
And get mad at me

"I'm sorry!" I say
But I don't
Really mean it

I was running from you
And your
Laughing face

But you thought it was all a game
But it wasn't a game to me
It was like a cat chasing a mouse

I was the mouse
Running for my life
And you were the cat

I don't get it
I don't want to play with you
This little 6 year old is too scared

This little girl has insecurities
So don't laugh at her
Life isn't a game of tag

But, please, keep laughing
Because to you life is a game of tag
And you should keep smiling before its too late

Thanks for the memories
Of laughter and play
Thank you for not harming
The ones I love

Thanks for the sunshine
And the warmth of the sun
Where I found the small moments
Of happiness

But once you see a little girl
Just like me
Don't hurt her
Like you killed me

Give this little girl joy
And sunshine for life
For this little girl
Shouldn't go through what happened to me

But thanks for the joy
And my family
But don't let her go through
What happened to me

I won't cry anymore
I promise you that
But if you could be nicer to me
I'd appreciate that

Thanks for reading
But seriously
I want to be happy
Don't be the death of me...

Don't be so cruel to me

You pass right through me
As if I am a ghost
As if I felt nothing
But, oh, I feel everything
I feel so much everyday

You think you see right through me
As if you can tell I am lying
But explain to me you should
Why don't you catch my fake happiness
When I lie about being happy

Your laughter doesn't pass through me
As you think it does
It hits me hard
Right in my heart
And knocks the breath out of me

You think I can't hear you
As if I am deaf
But what if I told you
I hear everything
Every little breath

You look at me and laugh
And think I see nothing
But I am not blind you see
For if I was blind
I wouldn't have insecurities

You think so many things
You assume I am ok
But I am not a ghost you see
I am a human being
And I have feelings too, you know.

Echoes fill the room
All I can hear
The soft noises
That come from a person
I can not pin point where they are
Once again and forever alone
All I ask is to hear those voices clearly
To be understood

So I stand here in the rain
All I hear is the drops
Why do they seem so big to me
Like a brick hitting rock
A person is speaking to me
But it is not clear
For the rain drowns out the sound
I need so desperatly to hear

So I run to them
Run through the rain
And miracously I can reach them
When I run to them they stop
I grin a grin so big
They smirk and laugh at me
And insult me
And I run back

I sit alone in the dark
Only fire to warm me
To warm my broken heart
Unlike a broken bone
My scars will never heal
And I will always remember
That no one will ever care
But even if they do care
They won't understand

I'm a stowaway
On this empty ship

Broken glass all over the floor
Broken emotions that were inside

I'm tired of going to school
Of facing the people there

Why can't I just stay in bed?
It's safer in there...

Don't want to talk, don't want to smile
It's all fake, I know it

Trying to cover the words
My mouth just wants to speak

Trying to cover the sound
Of them gossiping about me

Trying to cover the sight
Of the glass on the floor

I hear the voice telling me to
Go, go, go

So I jump of the ship
Into a sea of hope

I fear I will drown
Or eaten by a shark

But what is life
Without fear and hope?

All I do is write
Under the willow tree
This is my safe place
I call it my Willow Leaves

I heard them fighting again
So I ran and ran
To my safe place
My Willow Leaves

My emotions left
Or are they just crazy?
I don't care really though
I'm under my Willow Leaves

The school kids are annoying
Always gossiping
But all sadness rolls away
Under my Willow Leaves

During the winter my willow tree goes
My Willow Leaves gone for months
I'm always depressed during this time
I hate myself for being like this

No other place to run
No other place to vent
No other place to be safe
Other than my Willow Leaves

I look into your eyes
The windows to your soul
I become scared
My dear,
I see your demons

I try to help you
To make you feel loved
But why won't you listen?
Why do you run?
People love you, you know

I roll up your sleeves
And tears stream down my face
As I see the cuts
I look you in the eyes
I tell you I love you

"Let me help you my dear,
I won't let this go on
You are too amazing for this
Too important to people,
Too beautiful my dear."

I look in your eyes
As tears stream down my face
Your demons have disappeared
But so have you
I am scared
Of those dead, lifeless eyes

You know at school?
When they laugh at me
And I act all tough
As if they don't get to me

You know online?
How I let no one bother me
And I act as if I don't care
As if their words can't **** me

You know in public?
Where I try to stay quiet
I don't want anyone else
Talking about me

You don't know me.
How I breakdown at home
How I cry myself to sleep
Because no one will ever love me

I watch
As the world
Falls around me

I hear
The cries
Of the broken

I know
The world
Doesn't mind the hurt

I touch
My friend's hand
As we both stand our ground

And they know
That me and my best friend
Won't ever fall

If only
You had a best friend like mine
Them maybe you would never cry

Please don't cry
When you see my body
During my funeral
Nor during my burial

Please don't cry
When you find out how I died
When you know how it happened
How it all went down

Please don't cry
I wasn't sad when I died
I was rejoicing when I saw the Lord
When I knew I was gone

Please don't cry
I didn't
I was happier when I left the evil
And cruelty of the Earth

So wipe your tears from your cheeks
And just look above
For I have met the Lord
And we are looking down upon you

I wake
The sun shines through my window
I look out
The grass swiftly blows in the gentle breeze
Trees use there arms and wave to me
I don't want to go outside though
Instead I stay in and hide from the evil of the world
I tell my friends I am not allowed to hang out today
When in reality I don't want to make them hate me
I tell the trees, the grass, and the sun goodbye for the last time
And I don't come out again

I sleep
The moon is the only light left
I look up
The stars fade away
The moon is growing dimmer and dimmer
The dark grass is still
The blackened trees no longer beckon to me
I want to go outside tonight
I walk out and feel the darkness swirl around me
I tell my friends goodbye for the last time
Looking at the moon, I follow
Following it to the edge of the forest I stop for a breath
Then I find any courage that hasn't abandoned me
And I walk in
Never to be found again

I am sleeping
In an endless sleep
But I'm not afraid
I walk out into a bright light
I think this is heaven
But it a hospital
Am I sick?
What happened?
I close my eyes
And I realize what happened
For my heart it a butterfly
So it must've flown away
But I am not ok.


I have lost the man I love
And he will never know it.

Drip, drip, drip
The water droplets go
I count each one
1, 2, 3
They all keep falling
Then they stop
And I am left with nothing to count

***, ***, ***
The drums all go
I feel each beat
1, 2, 3
They all keep drumming
Then the vibrations stop
And I am left with nothing to hear

War, hatred, crime
The Earth goes
I hear every cry
"Why, why, why"
Everything crumbles to dust
As the world stops
And I am left with nothing at all

My heart is a dog
Loyal to whoever it loves
Loyal to you
----------------------------------
My heart is a butterfly
Fluttering around when someone is around
When you are around
----------------------------------------------------------­-
My heart is a mixing ***
Contains so many different emotions
So many emotions about you
---------------------------------------------------------
My brain can't decide for my heart
Yet this time I want it to
I want to know if I like you

I lie awake in the darkness
And I run to turn on the light
The darkness won't swallow me tonight
The demons watch me from the hallway
Trying to close in
Trying to take over me
I try to run
But in this world called Earth
No one is safe
Inside me are monsters
Waiting for my breaking point
So they can control me
Causing my friends to run and my family to hide
Untill I am lonely and sad again
And I hurt myself again
And again
And again
Untill one last breath
And the pain is gone