Since when did I have to do this
Since when did I have to write
To keep me from going insane
And crying every night.

Once I was happy,
A joyful little girl
But ever since I grew up
I seem to see way more

I can see now, the terrifying world
And I can hear now, the voices knocking at my door
I can feel the sadness, as I walk through the air
And I can sense that I am no little girl no more.

I miss believing I'd be happy forever
I miss running around playing house
I miss not being sad with every breath and more
And I miss most of all trusting in us

It stabs me every night
Giving me the worst fright
When I can see it in front of me
I want to cry or scream

The memories, the scenarios
Some include loved ones' burials
They are mostly fake, I can see
But I can't stop them from coming

I cry every night, depression? I'll never know
Sometimes I'm fine, but it hits me with a fatal blow
I can't stop feeling this way,
So please, don't try to help, it won't help anyway

I feel insane like rational thought has flown away
I know it isn't true, but I'm scared, so it'll stay
It seems to feed off my sadness, my fear, every inch of my being
And it makes me feel guilty, for, well, living.

I talk to my friends, talk to my family
They say, "You're fine, it'll go away"
So I try to ignore the screaming in my head,
But when I fail, I just cry myself to sleep instead

It's what sticks with us
For almost our whole lives
We waste all of our time
Being stabbed by these knives
Without stopping to think
"Where would we be without that?"
We don't stop and appreciate
Where we are now
The place we came to
Because of those events
And since we can never forgive ourselves
And never forget
We will never live our lives
And that's what we will always regret.

Loud
The noise drowns everyone out
The screams
They are the only one here

I try to hide
But the noise follows me
Inside and out
It kills me

I want to make it stop
I want someone to help
I need someone to just
Drown the noise out

When I look into her eyes
I don't see her pretty smile
I see tears
Just waiting to fall

She stands there, stiff and unmoving
Looking through me
And no matter what I do
She doesn't respond

So as I sit there
And watch those tears fall
I sit and wonder
What I did wrong?

If I talk no one will listen
If I speak no one will hear

If I look around and see you
You always disappear

I can chase and chase and chase you
But never in my life

Would I think that you'd ever
Be chasing me tonight