Trapped in my dream
In this endless sleep
My thoughts cloud my eyes
Every time I open them

Killing me is what the memories do
I'm trapped in this endless cycle
Love dissapears
Life's sadness comes in
Sadness takes over these clouds

My thoughts race as I think of the time
Every second of my life is running out...


            But you would only understand if you read the sidelines.

I walk across the ocean floor
Where everything has a blue tint
I do my thinking here
While the sea is calm

I think about you
And your stupid smile
That I love so much
And think is adorable

As the fish swim by
So does my hope
For us to be together
For you to be mine

The seaweed flows gently
Unlike my mind
Which is racing with my thoughts
Racing with my emotions

I don't go up for air
I don't seem to need it in my dreams
I know it has to be a dream
I can see you walking towards me

Your smile is so clear
I can hear your voice
But before I can even blink
You're stolen by the ocean world

I open my eyes in pitch black
And just look up to whatever
I think about you all over again
And now I am sad

I hate to wake from my sleep
My dreams of the ocean floor
Even if you wash away
Before I can touch your face

You are taken before I can hold your hand
And feel your embrace
I'm stupid to think this way
Get it out of my mind

...
I wait in the silence
...
...
I like it here
...
...
...
I feel safe
...
...
...
...
Sometimes silence is the only way I can stay sane

My screams are silenced
In this hallway of kids
They ignore me, or stare

All these kids whisper
About who I am
And what I look like

Nobody can hear
My cries for help
My cries for someone to understand

My poems are how I speak
My own little diary
But everyone sees my secrets

These poems are dark
And some people think I'm faking
But I'm not, I swear

I lie awake in the dark abyss of the night
Imagining a better life
Where I am not insecure

People laugh from dawn to dusk
Laugh about me being insecure
But it's their fault, don't you understand?

No you don't
Nobody does
Because I haven't found the right one

Everyone at school will say I am a freak
Just one person, I pray
One person, who can understand

But no one will come
Because no one truly cares
And I can't hear good things

All I hear, is the monsters within
Clawing at every inch of my being
Trying to escape

But I won't let them out
Because what I have learned,
Is to keep everything inside.

And put on a happy face...

My rose floats to the sky
The petals slowly washing away
I watch as they catch the light
One falls down to me
I hold it tight
Because I know this is it for me
My only love so far away
Yet somehow when I look up
And see the petals drift away
It seems like he is next to me
This Valentine's Day will be my worst
This I know
But I'm sure it will be okay
If he would like me back
Why is it that I can't be with him
And he doesn't love me
Why is it that I am too cowardly
To say what I wanna say
Maybe I should get it over it
And tell him now
Before the other girls
Take him away