Thank you little boy,
Older but yet young
I Thank you
I owe you
you made the me you see today.
Every time I believed I never could,
You would tell me, “Keep trying”
You were the sun in my dark world
You are what kept me alive all those years ago
I didn't think you knew that,
I didn't even want you to know,
You made me hope
HOPE
It’s a funny word, isn’t it?
Sometimes it’s all you have
Sometimes its all you can give.  
You were my hope that it would all get better
That maybe I would smile and laugh
Without a push in the right direction
I know you will never hear this
I know you will never hear my voice again
It hurts to say I will never hear your voice again
But little boy, older but young
I will never forget you
So don't you ever think for a second you have no friends,
I may be far, but you were always close to my heart,
You name is surround by joy and hope that 
The rain cloud will disappear someday
that the thunder will stop making me cry
that the lighting will quit hitting me  
Every single time someone tells me
I can’t
You won’t
You will never do it
I think of you
I think of you saying I can
Just try
Get back up if you fall
Like they say,
You never know what you have until you lose it
But i knew you i knew what i had
why was i so stupid  
People will think this is about love
And regretting how I treated you
They’re right about one thing and wrong about the other
I regret how I treated you
New friends came along
I was stupid
I lost sight of who I was
I hurt you
I know I did
I’m sorry I broke some bones
I’m sorry I did what I did
I didn't know any better
I was so **** irresponsible
You never knew this and you will never know this
But,
It got worse when you left
You, my sun, left
You, my only hope, left me
I almost ended it all
I was a lost broken soul,
You know whats so sad
I was so young, to young to be broken but i was
But that’s not your fault, my friend
Still to this day, every day,
I think of you
I tell our stories
About the sad times,
The dangerous times,
The happy ones too
I think of you when it rains
Thinking about the times we used to collect rain water
and how we would dance under the water running down the roof
On warm days we would make mud holes
and mud volcanos

I would get in trouble but
It was worth it
Hearing you laugh
Hearing your high pitch cackle
When I splashed mud on you—
I remember you in the middle of July
When we used nerf guns and water guns
The whole neighborhood was our backyard
If you don't think I remember
I do
You were my best friend
I still label you as my best friend
I just wish I could talk to you, see how much you've changed
See if you have piercings  
Maybe you get bob cuts
Maybe you dance now
Maybe you actually study material arts now  
How the young but older boy I remember changed
Young but older boy
You are now older, and even older boy
You were young then and so was I
We were reckless and dumb
Stealing bottles out of the woods
Trying *** at only 10 and 13
Oh my, how you changed me
Everyday, I grow older a hear your laugh intertwine with mine again
Every time I have a thought its like your right there next to me making up a story in my head like we did when we were younger

Maybe if we ever meet again you can teach me how to fight with sticks ( cause I'm pretty bad at it now)
Teach me how to actually let go and run through the forest feel the wind pull me farther in sing with the birds again
Or maybe you will become a very important lawyer

but the problem is
I still know your name
But I don't know you
Sometimes I think I see you
then take a second look a second glance once more
I don't
I’m scared one day your name will miraculously pop up
Not in a good way
I wish you knew how much I wish and hope
i could see you face to face
that i could see how you have grown into the scar that runs across your chest
i just hope
One day something will bring you back into my life
Younger but older boy
maybe not Younger but older boy
Maybe you are
Brother I had