I have seen the world a million times, yet I am not alive.
I am always moving, yet I can not breath.
I am older than all, yet I do not age.
What am I?

I’m the wind that fills your lungs,
the air you breathe so wishfully
hoping that this time
won’t be like that last.

She lifts her head to the sky
as if rolling her eyes
and asking God to answer her cries
all in one.

I feel I’ve been uprooted
And I’m just hanging in the air.
But I’m a rose
Not an orchid
I can’t survive with my roots up there
Hanging in a tree.
I need to be grounded.
I need to soak up my confidence
from the ground up
otherwise I can’t feel anything
but the worms burrowing into my skin
and the bees buzzing in my head.

I’m so terribly alone.
I may be “loved”.
But I’m most definitely alone.
And not to mention lost.
Oh,
I’m so ******* lost I don’t even know
if I’m swimming up towards the air
that will release my lungs
or down to the depths of the sea
That will surely swallow me.
I’m so lost.
And alone.

I feel as if I’m wandering
with nowhere to go
and all I have to show
is my silly passport
that isn’t even real
because the name I see isn’t even mine
and the font it’s in
seems invisible to everyone else’s eye.
I’m so alone.
I’m so lost.
I’m so done.
I’m so ready to pay your cost,
Your fee,
Your ******* bounty,
Anything better than this ****** county.

But I can’t run away.
I have nowhere to run.
So I’m stuck being lost
In the same circle as always.
Going round
And round
Until suddenly
everything is fuzzy
And I’m too dizzy.
And all at once
My mind short circuits.
And it all starts over again.
The end.

Trying not to text you everyday
is hard,
Trying not to wish for you everyday
is hard,
Trying to erase the imprint
you permanently
seared into my heart
is hard.

It’s really hard to move on.
I feel foolish now.
I feel like I should have known
being that happy isn’t possible for me.
I should have known.
I feel like I should have known.

I feel like I’m half empty
Instead of half full.
Half of me isn’t there
And half of me wasn’t ever there.

I’m still searching for my other half.
I’m one of the puzzle pieces
Waiting for the right person to fit.
And I know I have time
But there’s too much time.
Too many pieces that could fit
That would fit
That should fit
But they don’t.

And personally,
I don’t like puzzles.
I think they’re boring
And I never seem to end up finishing them
I tend to leave them half finished,
Half empty
Half full,
Half and
Not whole.

Thinking of you is like
Having to sneeze but not being able to.
It’s that itching feeling that you get,
That uncomfortable dizziness that’s
so mild it doesn’t really matter much.
But it matters to you.
Because you have to deal with the discomfort of the knowledge that you need to do something but you can’t.
Your body won’t LET you.
Your heart won’t LET you.
Your mind won’t LET you.
Are we still talking about sneezing?

I thought the poison
Would make the pain go away
But instead it’s more powerful
And I feel it the next day.
So either way,
Everything’s gone awry.