What if I’m being judged
by the ones I say I love
Can’t they see I’m trying to heal
and working on being real
Can’t they see I’m trying hard
to heal everything that’s scarred
Moving forward is no joke
I meant every word that I spoke
But this is the end of our journey
you’re no longer good for me
Know I’ll be there if you call
but I’m afraid that is all
Because you were never there for me
left me hanging from my tree
Never there when I needed you most
instead you decided to turn ghost
So I am now moving on
this is the only way to be strong
Putting up my own boundaries
stone cold walls if you please
It didn’t have to be this way
I really wish that I could stay
But it’s time to take care of me
in hopes that one day I will be free

Each snowflake silently falls
just like each thought, one comes
then another
Quicker now they come
as if a flurry
swarming around my head
until finally they fall
Each one is unique
none like the other
sparkling in the light
each one’s a gem
I try to cherish them all
even the sad and broken ones
because without broken
you won’t know happy
How could these silent snowflakes
not bring happiness
The sound of peace and zen
I try to remember this
next time my head swarms
with flurries of snowflake thoughts

Blade on the sink
Razor through the speakers
swore she was done this time
but this makes her feel better

Pant leg rolled up
socks taken off
cold metal touches skin
it’s time for liftoff

One drag across her ankle
four more to even the score
this type of pain
it hits her at the core

A deep breath as beads form
they gather then roll off
the release she gets from these cuts
certainly will payoff

The song comes to an end
and the bleeding stops
this was so much better
than wasting salty teardrops

Legs aching from
nightmares last night
really can’t stand
continuing this fight

Head pounding and swirling
thoughts won’t sit still
really not sure how
I get these words out of my quill

Exhausted and just want to
stay laying down
face always seems
stuck in a frown

Obsessed over thoughts
of hurting myself
want to put my head
in a noose or the blade off the shelf

But really just want
to live without
all of these feelings
and the unfathomable doubt

Disaster in its gravest form
I wish only to be reborn
give me something to hold
I wish only to be bold

The world has turned dark and grey
someone please take these demons away
my mind is now a shattered mess
someone please take away this stress

I cannot feel anything but pain
I wish only to cry in the rain
I feel the world has cast me out
I wish only to be free from this drought

Someone save me before I leave
I’ve lost the will and way to grieve
now I’m spread out on my lawn
I’ve lost the will and way to go on

Anxiety coursing through my veins
every inch of my body shakes
I cannot take the way it feels
or the ache I feel in my legs

I have a brick on my chest
making it so hard to breathe
gasping for air, someone help
lift the brick off of me

I can’t drink coffee
although I love it’s taste
my heart races and
it makes my hands shake

Going out is a joke
I don’t want to be around
anyone who could judge
the way my anxiety makes me look

It doesn’t stop
not even for a moment
constantly vibrating
and muscles tense as hell

I wish this monster would
just let me be
I need a moment to breathe
and be me again

A beautiful summers day
and the bees have come out to play
pollinating big sun flowers
dancing around them for hours

They stop here and there to have a snack
when they’re done, to the Queen they take back
all that they’ve worked hard for
then they head back for more

For a worker bee is never done
working hard out in the sun
once the moon comes at the end of the day
until tomorrow their work must delay

And then with the sun rising, so does the bee
buzzing in and out of flowers, so busily
with his cute little **** and pollen covered nose
a worker bee’s work is never done, everyone knows