It's been a long time since you rocked alone, dancing in the dark, throwing all you've got to the wind and sky, asking for nothing in return, then having it all given back, yeah it's been such a long time since you loved where you were,
and it's so good to be back and you want to stay, but the sweetest things can't be sweet memories until you can say goodbye, just stay till sunrise then be on your way, and know you're welcome here anytime you want to drop by

I'm tripping over something
I know it isn't new
I'm falling into a strange thing
It could just be you
I have found my missing mind
There's nothing I can't do
And my heart has finally found
A love more than true

I leapt from the face of the earth,
and what I found was a place
where I could live with my name
while staying free from the blame
that would come down like rain
when I would refuse to feign
my enjoyment of the game
that we're all forced to play.

Sitting around all day drinking without a soul to touch
I've been sitting here spinning and thinking that my last drink was too much
Roaming around the house looking for friends that I can't find
I've been going to and from getting lost in the maze that is my mind
I've been crawling around the floor soaking up all the dirt and grime

I never doubted your heart, just your commitment to the part
Through thick and thin, you just couldn't let me in
In sickness and in health, I'm feeling better by myself
Through the good times and the bad, you could never keep up with the passion that I had
For times of wealth and times of need, my hungry heart you could never feed
And for better or for worse, I'm happy now to be free of your curse

Have you ever tricked yourself into believing the force of your steps is what moves the world beneath you, and that your every breath is what pushes all the people away? It's true; you alone are all there is, and you are responsible for all that exists

I can live with being tired all the time, the reason why I can't get a good night's sleep is what's killing me

Ever ready to compete, if you arent first life is incomplete
Routinely changing the routine of change
Developing abilities amd enhancing our reach amd range
Dominating those who do not seek the prize, all to get ahead of those who we see with fear shrouding our eyes

No doubt you feel like a big man, coming from a town smaller than the back of your hand, coming from a family that always had what you need, you never had to look for a place where you could eat. There's no shame in admitting that you had it easier than a big percentage, but you deny the opportunity you've been given while claiming you're a savage. You're a scared little boy and that's all you'll ever be, stuck in a tiny town that you'll always be too afraid to leave.

This drink in my hand is calling the shots
I forget who I am, but I know who I'm not
A man with a plan, a man in control
Slip a pill down my throat, turn into a ghost
Find faith in my hate, abandon my hope
You say that it's wrong but I already know

If you're not getting what you want all you have to do is ask, and if you still don't get it you gotta decide whether or not you're better than that. Are you gonna stay without and pout about it, or do what you should and turn your back because you don't need that?

You're too afraid to take a single step out  towards your desire, because last time you tried you failed and got burnt by the fire. So you carry pails of water to extinguish every flame, and you'd be a liar if you said you weren't to blame for the darkened world that you have claimed

Sometimes i feel so small, and so weak that i cant even hold the weight of my skin over my bones. The shaking of my skeleton rattles in my chest, making my shallow, trembling breaths sound like the ringing of the phone when i try to call you, and when you pick up is when my heart tries to skip a thousand beats, but drags itself on the ground for a thousand miles instead, bleeding and losing life every inch of the way.

Customers come
Our concern in feigned
Customers leave
Of them we complain
News is on the televisions in our burrito shop
So customers can see reports of our competitors e. Coli outbreak
Someone asks if our steak can be cooked less
The answer is no
They leave without ordering
*Come again

Hope you had a splendid  trip into the new year.
I know I did.
But still I wish you'd have been here.

You are not the needle sticking out of my arm as I nod off silently
You are not the pipe lying in my lap as my body starts shaking violently
You are not the pill case resting by my side as I fade away on the floor quietly
You are not the bottle in my hand as I slam my car into a van filled with a family

You are the substance shooting through my veins, relieving me of all my pain
You are the smoke soaking my lungs, bringing me to a mystic plane
You are the powdered capsules floating in my stomach, promising to take me far away
You are the alcohol mixed into my blood, granting me courage to not care for this place

There must have been a thousand promises made over friendship and forever,  little messages of love sent to and from each other in moments I thought for sure should have taken us completely under. But we stood firm, feet planted fully in the sand with backs slanted to let the waves run up our spines so as to wash over and grant us relief from the pressure building around our minds, because we just had to prove we were stronger than the currents that tried so hard to carry us away together.

Just say the word and all this can change, you can get what you're after with no restraint, but you have to speak if it's ever to start - your silence is the lock to your little heart

What can you do when your heart is confused, and your brain is battered and internally bruised, and despite all the hope you try to hold in your head, at the end of the day you still wish you were dead?

If you have a problem, you should tell your friends, or whoever it is you depend on. They will listen, and they will try their best, or just give you a shoulder to rest on. And it shouldn't matter if they understand, because like you, your terrors are unique, and sometimes too great for you to even speak of. And if your friends are true, they'll always be there, and they'll always be prepared to tell you the truth that you are afraid of. If they tell you things that you believe must be lies, take a minute to realize, they would never want to hurt you for no reason other than your own good, they're just doing their job as all good friends should. Because when you're drunk and screaming at them about how you just want to die, they'll be thinking to themselves as they try not to cry, how life could be worth living if you were not alive. As you need them to keep you from losing your mind, this should come as no surprise, they need you more than you can see with your eyes.

Up
Down
It makes no difference
Now
Then
Can you make sense of it
I'll
Do
Just almost everything
To
You
Just to feel anything

Four eyed freaks upon the screen
The mind isnt what it seems
Broken thoughts and cycles recycled
Break the bind by breaking the mind
Keep the peace
Out of sight
Out of mind
Forget the all
Its left behind
The mind can change
And so should you
The only thing
You have to do
Is learn to change
Your point of view

I can't help it
It's just the way I am
Always to want more than
What I have
Its never enough
I can't change it
I want more than
I need to
It's not ok
But it's the only way
I know how to be
Always less than
What they want
It's less than
I could ever want
I'm just a selfish man
Always wanting more than
What I've been given
It's all good
But still I want more
I know I should
Try to be satisfied
With what I have

Oh cast away eyes, how much of me can you see today
Oh volcanic heart, how quickly will you burn me away
Oh contemptuous course, how far will you allow me to stray
Oh shallow songs, how many more must you make me play

Abandon work, buy two cigarette packs, and smoke every one as if kissing death will make it love you back

The demons that used to dissolve in alcohol have learned to hold their shape, and the terrors that used to tremble in smoke have learned to stand their ground, and the evils that used to evaporate in your presence have learned to keep you away

All a part
All apart

What we aren't
What we are

Dramatic with a knack for it
And quite a skillfull addict
The best you will ever see
In the worst sides of me
A paradoxical disease
I feed on lacking what I need
Always high and on the street
But if you need one count on me
Because I know what it means to have nothing to believe and I've seen people do things that make me wanna scream, but you better believe that if I would ever dream of doing someonebody else that way, I'd be so ashamed that when I find myself awake I'd pull down the shades and put a bullet through my brain

Succumbing simultaneously to solitude and stupidity, I'm ferociously falling face first into infinity, the endless ****** of organismic existence, and the relentless reaches of unbounded urges. Viscerally and vehemently, I recall and recoil, as memories marked on the heart start to lock my parts.

There are a limitless number of ways to escape when you're walking towards oncoming cars on a busy interstate

Where have all the good times gone
When luck gave way everything went wrong
My friend, have you been there and back
Did you find yourself tied to the tracks
Barreling down a broken rail
Every attempt to escape only fails
I took my ride on the misery train
And its a trip I hope I never take again
Have you lived through your darkest days
Wandering helplessly through a jaded haze
With a distant light always out of reach
Forgoing all the advice your friends would preach
Dreaming while you can just to forget the world
Sleeping in a place, all alone and cold
A place where you could cry
And mutter to yourself the same tired lie
That you still believe that there is a hope
And tomorrow you won't need the drugs to help you cope
You will no longer give into sin
And you'll be better than you have ever been
But that new dawn just will not rise
You drown yourself under the river pouring from your eyes
Have you felt the weight of a past that you cannot change
Anger and grief that fester, devouring you in rage
Afraid to take a single step towards your desire
Because last time you tried you got burnt by fire
So now you carry water and extinguish every flame
And when you say your world is dark, you only have yourself to blame
I have lived through my trip to hell
And I hope that you haven't been there as well

I don't think
I lost my mind
I think I
Left it behind
I let go
Purposefully
I gave in
So completely

Your eyes are shining like sun rises, and I want to get to know the mind that lies behind them.
I hope you won't lie to me.
I want to know where you come from,
do you believe in heaven?
Do you think it's true, the best thing two people can do is try to find a light in a dark empty room, or has your heart been troubled?
Are you a princess Rapunzel who's waited alone so long that her tower has crumbled and turned into rubble? Do you think prince charming never came because you weren't worth the trouble or that you aren't lovable?
I want to get to know you and your thoughts so that I might be able to see everything that you're hiding underneath, and I want to figure out whether you're really the nightmare that you claim to be, or if you could turn out to be none other than my perfect dream.

I only want you to have a reason to smile, just a little reason to laugh for a while, a reason to joke in the face of denial, and a reason to believe that your fate isn't final

Why is it that every time I search myself for the words I need to use to make a good impression to someone else, I always slip, bite my lip, and choke upon the urge to quit? Why can't I take all theses phrases that I've scribbled out upon countless pages, turn them into words that if they ever could be heard would be powerful enough to even shake the birds? How many more times am I going to have to rehearse and curse to myself, just to get it though that I can be just like anybody else, and that I don't need to worry because I can be happy by myself? What's it gonna take to make me feel like I belong, that I'm not as lame as I think I am for always writing songs, that people can still love me even though I've done them wrong, and that me and anybody else could ever really get along? Why does it always feel like my world is about to implode, like my insides are always about to explode, that no matter who's around me I always feel alone, and that no matter what I do I will die unknown?

Sitting in a full room
Only know one person
Everyone else is empty
Including myself
A task I can't take
Even if i did
It'd only make me a fake

I'm waiting outside for you to open up your mind
I don't care if it's cold or if it takes all night
And I'm not even asking for the door
A window is more than enough I'm sure

Let me in, it's not a sin
Or come out so we can begin
I need you to hear what I'm saying
But it's always too loud, the music you're playing

I don't know if you heard a word
I've been saying for seven weeks
I'm still out here and you know it hurts
But I know being stuck inside is so much worse
Won't you step out for some fresh breeze
Before the only way you can leave is in a hearse

I am flying high on a pair of wings that aren't mine
They're borrowed, bent, and a bit broken
But they carry me to places no one can see
Where I can be alone, at home, and ******
If you must then rip them from my back
Because all good things must end but may still begin again
Maybe someday I'll grow my own and let my true colors be shown
These wings they comfort me as they carry me over all that I can see
But I'm sure if I could just grow my own I could fly beyond all that I know

Noises from their mouths, that's all that words are; so the decision lies with you - can they leave a scar?

So I'm at work, right
And there's this guy
He's trying to order something super sized
I tell him, "we don't do that here, we have regular, small, and kids in whole wheat or rye"
Then I ring him for a regular, and he says "you messed up", with a scowl.  
He asks if my manager is around.
I get fired, so I burn that **** hole to the ground.
Another day, another dollar

I think your insides would look prettier on the outside, so
Lets take those intestines and tie them around your throat

Now it's time to open the stomach

Remove the kidneys, the spleen, and that ugly little thing you call a heart
But before we start with the hacking apart I want to tell you a secret
The surgeon is running a bit late, and I don't have the patience to sit here and wait, so if you don't mind if I do, I'm gonna rip into you and I'm sorry, but I forgot to bring you some glue, and by the time that I'm done you'll no longer be one, but a thousand little pieces floating around in your tub

The sound will call the ears of ready runners, the race will be started, and I am the starting line.

BANG!

Now they're all sprinting away as fast as they can, and it's only a one hundred meter race to the end, so I'll never see any of them again.

There's a fading heart sitting alone in a car, wishing those wheels would take him far away, but he never gets farther than the corner bar. Drunk and ****** he drives home again but crashes on the way

I feel the need to write but don't know what to say
It seems there are things that have gotten in the way
The freedom I once felt has completely disappeared
And the loss I feel is greater than any I ever feared

All around you tsunamis and earthquakes are taking and breaking anything they can touch, yet I find peace in you and your place beneath the sea, and the shine of hope you cast upon all the destruction that I see surrounding me.

One day I may have to leave this sanctuary and face all the awful things that you've protected me from having to believe, but I would gladly die fighting against the apocalypse, if it meant we could share one first and final kiss.

If you are just a dream
Then that's ok with me
Because if you can't be real
Then how blessed am I to see
Something that wasn't
Ever meant to be

Every morning we stir silently
Awaking to a whole new world
Full of precious life, but marred by worthless strife
Plagued by constant sorrow, but full of hope for tomorrow
Today is just one of many
Possibilities and realities
That wait for us
Looming in dark alleys
or flying on the highest of clouds
We can do anything that our hearts will allow
Like the rest we chase so often
We will have it in our coffins
These days are too bright to hide from the light
Reach out and touch it before you fade away
None of it matters anyway
I know you might be scared, but I am no stranger to fear
Your belly is full of something rotten, your breath stinks of beer
Why are you wasting my time, why did you call me here?
I told you once that you cannot be living this way if you want to be free
Now won't you please go away
I don't need you blocking my sun today

I won't walk anywhere with you, because I'm crawling to the end. You can get down with me if it pleases you, or you could go right on ahead

You have to be strong, because even the darkest terror that you've ever seen is but to her just another harmless dream stacked against the nightmare that her whole life has been.

Do you want to see how cruel I can be? Would you like to witness the sickest acts that this disease can **** out of me? Lay your eyes upon this clever beast, he is not as slick as he believes. You can view him as he is, and you will discover that under the veil of skin, there is an empty frame willing to wear whatever it needs, to hold out any hope that might be trying to find a way in.