Is it only a dream
Or is it a disease
Is there any relief
That these eyes will see
Madness into modern men
Regress into our children's pen
Inhale the smoke from burning desire
Choke on the fumes and fall into the pyre

Here I lie, wide eyed and awake
Waiting to dream up my next big mistake
Your voice calls every time I fall
Asleep with the thought of you tucked into my arms
And the memory of your heart beating against my chest
So I lie, red eyed and intoxicated
Im under your spell, and the sheep have all been counted
Now if you could just join me in my room again
I need you here to silence the monsters under my bed
Should I slip into slumber, dont let me wake up again
I dont want to face the truth
I refuse to believe that this dream is dead

I dont care about who you claim to be
Because all i wanted was for you to be a friend to me
Though i gotta say, if it were up to me I'd leave
But i wont, because baby, I'm addicted to your disease
I love it so much when you've got me on my knees
And I pray to god that you'll never set me free

This latest fashion is becoming quite the passion
Nights kept awake by alcohols bitter taste
So say cheers to the future and all that you'll do
And say a prayer for the hopes that you're still holding on to
The night is young and so are you
You have all your life to make dreams come true

Tonight I appear bigger through the false perspective of my broken mirror.

I find my eyes but they cannot see the space inbetween the sky and the sea directly ahead staring back at me, and as my eyes try to scour through the night for the ledge thats out of sight, my legs begin to push while the wind gives me a shove, then suddenly I'm  flying at full speed over the ocean towards the edge just up ahead.

Should I not discover a way to get myself down and back onto solid ground, I'll fly off the horizon into the void, consumed by the unknown. But I have gone too far, and should I gain my mind again, I'll slip and fall into the water beneath my feet, and there alone I will drown.

Ever ready to compete, if you arent first life is incomplete
Routinely changing the routine of change
Developing abilities amd enhancing our reach amd range
Dominating those who do not seek the prize, all to get ahead of those who we see with fear shrouding our eyes

Your car got taken for a measly sum, and mine went to the flames under the winter sun, so we both lost out before our time was done, but I'm tryna tell you that it all matters none.
Because before we started this war of excommunication, and going *** for tat over every nonsensical spat, there was something golden coating what we had, but somehow we ended up throwing it in the trash, and I'd give every arm and leg that i have to get it back.
Now i know its been a while since youve heard my voice, and i apologize for the times ive stalled and all the times I've fallen apart.
You have no idea the damge thats been dealt, and you know not the extent of the heartbreak that ive felt.
I dont think i can continue,  though i swear I've prayed that I could.
And everything that we never did, I've always wished that we would.

The seams are all falling off
Revealing whats been all along
The nightmares have not been starved
Full and fat
The hunger marches on
Coherent or not
Always with the "I forgot" or "I lost control"
March on soldier, secure the throne, for the masters on the side of the borders that you call home, and who have chosen to use this world for the good of none but their own
March on civillian, no one wants to help you because there is nothing left where you call home and that you own and that you could use to pay us back for what youd owe
Irrational as always
The response of veracious eyes, opaque disguise, and greedy minds
Chaos calls for this and worse
Nothing in this world can save them from it
Except for the vigor to hold those in contempt
And
We may feel like we are the few, but we are the only ones who can

Without you there
To light the fuse on my bombs
I go on
Through the dark without a light
I lose my way, and remember the sight
Of you and i burning bright and igniting the sky
Do you remember
The sound of explosions that stirred our emotions up
And in the sky, the planes roared above as they dropped explosive ordinances before our eyes
The war we fought
Was a ****** battle of hardened souls
Survival was bought by those who brought knives up their sleeves
and made the other believe that this fight would be fought with pride
We lost the lives that wed never realize, and the price we paid was worth more than we saved
But the memories we made must be strong enough to carry us to the grave

I think i lost my talent for explaining what im holding
*** i cant find the words though theyre right in front of me
Im blinded by the feelings that i let get ahold of me
And i dont know what to do when it comes to me and you

Ive been on my own and working on my health
Peace of mind is what im seeking but i still need help
*** im feel like im still in the same place as where i fell
And im wondering if its any different from my old hell

Everything feels like, i dont know
Everyone one i see still wants to go
Away from me and i dont blame them none
I can see now i havent even passed step one

Your car got taken for a measly sum, and mine went to the flames under the winter sun, so we both lost out before our time was done, but im tryna tell you that it all matters none.
Before we started this war of excommunication and going *** for tat over every nonsensical spat, there was something golden coating what we had, but somehow we ended up throwing it in the trash, and I'd give every arm and leg that i have to get it back.
Now i know its been a while since youve heard my voice, and i apologize if i start to cry, its just that i dont know how to handle how strange it feels to know that at least ive tried.

You blame everyone for their own imperfections because you're too afraid to admit that you're terrified of your own reflection

There and here i disappear for reasons easy to understand but hard to find the root of,, and my branches dont bend these days, theyve all begun to break
Down and out, back again, and then thrown out the door again, always lost, always confused, and on the losing end
Of life, of love, of simple self fufilment, ive tried every way you speak of yet i do not feel whole
Where i lie, with glassy eyes, i try to find the spies that lie amongst the company with which i try
To keep appearances and quaint relations, much a bother, i cant be dealt with
Desire, a pitchfork,  flames or stone
It does not matter to ne, for none shall own my throne

Sometimes i feel so small, and so weak that i cant even hold the weight of my skin over my bones. The shaking of my skeleton rattles in my chest, making my shallow, trembling breaths sound like the ringing of the phone when i try to call you, and when you pick up is when my heart tries to skip a thousand beats, but drags itself on the ground for a thousand miles instead, bleeding and losing life every inch of the way.

If every poem written in love was a prayer to god for peace, i could make non believers out of the highest priests, and if every little note was a cry for mercy and relief, i could bury all of hell under the weight of my grief

If only you knew
How you consumed
How i tried to resist
Strength of your wrists
Your salt in my wounds
I took your medicine
You prescribed doom
I sat alone in your room
Speaking to your ghost
And your spirit loomed
Over a darkened room
I saw you and your skin
Paying the price for sins
I'll forgive you for them
We can go back to when
Everything was clean
Smartly running devine
Every gear spun on time
All cogs were aligned
I just want to restore
The love that i swore
Forever and ever more

All the words i wanted to say, the pointless poems i wrote when i was home alone, theyve all gone away, swept up in the whirlwind you caused when you left and took with you every dream i had. Scattered to the land and lost floating in the sky, im finding the pieces of me that you apathetically misplaced and im recovering the parts of myself you so wastefully threw away.

I can feel myself slipping away, because theres not much holding me back, these days, its so hard trying to hold myself together, because even if i could do it from now until forever, i dont think, i should, know that its not so bad, but i could never really get the hang of acting like that, so i say so long, to this part, of my heart

The most relaxing way
To spend your summer days
Trapped beneath the heat
Ain't too bad with a drink
***** in your cup
Sip that sweet drink up
Fall asleep under the sun
Wake up with the stars above

It will snake
Its way back
Into my head
Before i know
I'll be dead
Replaced by it
I will not change
I will degrade
All the way
Into my grave
Where my bones
Will feed the same
Bugs and dirt
From which I came

Sometimes I wonder where it went, or if you even meant the words you said, because lately I've been thinking about this pain in my chest, and I think now's the time to lay all of this to rest.

I don't think that you're welcome here.
So if there's anything I can do
to make it more clear,
let me know so I can
help you disappear.

I want to start this off with a few choice words.
I could make them sweet, but that's more than you deserve,
and I would make hem kind, but I believe they should hurt,
like when you told me, "This thing between us isn't going to work".
I thought that I lost it, I couldn't believe what I heard.
After all that I gave you, it was my name that you cursed.

I was scared of what I felt, but I know you were too

You're afraid of dying alone
with no one there to hold your bones
And I'm afraid of what I'll never know
Like how far we could really go
Because I'm making progress, but I'm much too slow
I don't think I'll reach you before it's your time to go.

I'm so sick of the cycles we run ourselves through.
We apologize and then continue all the awful things we do.
Never able to stop, but we all understand,
We are tasked with building live upon foundations of sand,
unable to hold the weight of this earth's heavy demands.
We'll fight when we have to, and we'll steal what we can.

I haven't showered for seventy two hours, it's been three days since you put me in my place again
And I don't want to believe that just like Jesus Christ, today's the day that I'm supposed to rise again.

Will you punish me?
Cut these sin filled fingers off,
lest I never write again of how I don't believe in God?
If you can't strike me down, what am I to fear?
If you won't let your wrath return my body to the ground,
You are no god to me.

We still talk sometimes, even though im trying hard to let you go, and I still write, rhyming lines, yeah you know that ill always be a poet.
And I've still got a few good words for you, a couple more metaphors so cool like how it used to be between me and you.
And I've got at least another punchline or two, because when all's been said and done and our precious time is finally up, its important that we can look back on the past, and laugh, and never forget the good times that we had

I hurt for all the broken hearts, because I know how it feels to be lost and lonely in the rain, with no one or place to go to give you warmth or ease your pain.
And if there's one thing I could try to do for all those wandering souls who spend their lives out of view, in places that you'd never want to be and that you'll only ever see in your worst late night dreams, it would be to pull them out of their suffering pits and give them reasons and hope to live.
Because as much as it might strain me to reach out and try to save all the other ships lost at sea, I continue sailing on in the hopes that someday I'll meet one who does not need to be freed, but instead will be the one who was sent to rescue me.

I don't want you to be good, I just need you to be mine, because all I'm looking for is a place where I can let my darkness shine

So you've come home from being off at war
Won't you come inside where it's nice and warm
Let me take your coat, oh my you feel cold
It seems you've returned but you're no longer whole
Did the price of your return include a piece of your soul
You're still the one I remember from before you left
But the bones you used to hold me up with now need their own place to rest

There's nothing more important to me,
than all of the rose tinted memories that refuse to expire, and all the bad times that my mind disguised as something more than what transpired.

So tell me babe, what do you say
Will you seize this chance or let life slip away
I beg you please, don't leave us this way
Is there nothing I could do to convince you to stay
Please just go to sleep, and find peace in your dreams
Just remember me, and don't forget to believe
That there's nothing except for love that will ever set you free

So tell me babe, why do you stay
Is there something stopping you from making a change
You go on, getting stuck in your ways
Is there somewhere else you wish you could be today
Now don't fall asleep, and don't follow your dreams
Don't wait up for me, and don't you dare to believe
That there's anything more to this than what you're able to see

I should be home sleeping with you by my side
But I'm out here walking all through the night
I should be set on making you my wife
But I'm out here wasting all of my time
To settle for less,  I'm not impressed
You'll see my protection when I get undressed
It's kept close to the chest and it knows me best
And after this I swear I won't try to use it again

Dont be fooled, loyalty builds interest. Sometimes youll get paid your due the way good parents should teach their  children to do, but you'll also be prey to be played by those who pray for a generous and vulnerable soul to use

You were my try at a less than literal suicide,  a metaphorical mutilation of self, an imaginary imprisonment in someone else's hell.

Dramatic with a knack for it
And quite a skillfull addict
The best you will ever see
In the worst sides of me
A paradoxical disease
I feed on lacking what I need
Always high and on the street
But if you need one count on me
Because I know what it means to have nothing to believe and I've seen people do things that make me wanna scream, but you better believe that if I would ever dream of doing someonebody else that way, I'd be so ashamed that when I find myself awake I'd pull down the shades and put a bullet through my brain

I'm sitting home alone trying to reach death through the phone, he answers and says he's got someone on the other line, and he asks if he can call me back in five, I say ok hang up and go out for a drive, because I know he won't call me back, I've tried this at least a hundred times.

A million conversations all in my head
A million chances to be better off dead
Yet every time I've chosen the safety of silence instead

They say they know what you want, but I know what you need. They want to steal your heart,  and I bet they'll make you bleed. You don't have to stay, and if you choose to leave with me,  I'll give you everything, and I'll never leave your side. You will be my queen, and you will pay no price, because all my love is free, and it will last for your whole life.

There are a limitless number of ways to escape when you're walking towards oncoming cars on a busy interstate

You took that life and then you ran away,  now I'm out to get ya but I won't be catching you today
Giving you a head start the way I was taught to do, because my mother always told me if it's love then she'll wait for you
Just figure out what it is you gotta do, I'll be right by your side whenever you're ready to

How can I ever hope to break through when I've already been broken by all the mounting proof that what I once believed was never even true?

He gave in again to savor some silver shrouded sin, and so the night was called in to begin her slow descent into the openings of his skin.

There must have been a thousand promises made over friendship and forever,  little messages of love sent to and from each other in moments I thought for sure should have taken us completely under. But we stood firm, feet planted fully in the sand with backs slanted to let the waves run up our spines so as to wash over and grant us relief from the pressure building around our minds, because we just had to prove we were stronger than the currents that tried so hard to carry us away together.

There is a tension running through my veins today. The blood inside them feels thicker than my skin, and the seals that hold it together are struggling to keep me in.

Like a ball of twine, one end held tightly by my two aching fingers while the rest falls out from the scarred valley of her palms, my mind is unraveled at the sight of a thousand dead bodies; all the people that we wanted but never let ourselves become