You are not the needle sticking out of my arm as I nod off silently
You are not the pipe lying in my lap as my body starts shaking violently
You are not the pill case resting by my side as I fade away on the floor quietly
You are not the bottle in my hand as I slam my car into a van filled with a family

You are the substance shooting through my veins, relieving me of all my pain
You are the smoke soaking my lungs, bringing me to a mystic plane
You are the powdered capsules floating in my stomach, promising to take me far away
You are the alcohol mixed into my blood, granting me courage to not care for this place

You used to cower at the smallest scent of trouble at your doors other side, and you'd run for the harbor to escape the land whenever storms headed ashore were soon to arive, not caring about what you'd leave behind or the people who wouldn't get a goodbye, suffering self-inflicted ruthless alienation every time fear found its way into the center of your mind, you'd kick and scream and swear you would die, just to put an end the terrors that only your eyes could find

You are doing better

I'm not sorry anymore
I've made my choices
And now that you're gone all I have are the voices
The ones that told me to get away
The ones that beg for an end to pain
They tell me what to do and where to go
They tell me lies but there's nothing else I know
So I choose to believe that this is what's best
I can't fight it so I'll lay you to rest
I don't want to let you go
But its better for you and that's all you need to know
If I can spare your life then I'm doing what's right
Because I can't let you watch when I turn out the light
If worst comes to worst then I'll live alone with this curse
And when it comes time to accept my defeat
You won't be here so you won't have to see it

I can not quit
Caving in
Giving in
To familiar sin

If what I take doesn't **** me by tomorrow, its safe to assume it will just prolong the sorrow
If where I go isn't where I intend, its natural to presume I wanted to walk down dead ends
If the things I say don't ring softly through your ears, just know my heart is shook by the sight of all your tears