ive always wondered what its like to be a normal kid but always for weird reasons,
im safe, im loved, im fed, im cared for, thats what home is,
why dont I want to be here, im confused,
the secrets,
but im safe and they love me,
but they dont know me how could they love me,
I remember when I was really little and wanted to be like my dad,
except for the hitting and drinking and screaming, but I wanted to be just like him,
he was my hero,
anyones a hero when all you know are villains,
thats why you were my hero, you saved, and protected me
protected or smothered

I was at work today and my friend was feeling really down,
I felt bad for him and tried to make him smile,
he didnt want to talk about it but I wished he would,
I understand why he might not want to talk,
but it might help him feel better,
he said it was along story and that there was no point in talking about it,
then one of our other coworkers asked why he was so down, he said its nothing and told him I will just go home and get yelled at by my dad,
ok, see you wednesday

I mourn for your touch,
even when we are still touching,
I mourn for your love,
even while you currently say you love me,
I mourn for your look,
even when are eyes get stuck in a gaze

THIS POEM IS GONNA BE MORE OF A BRAIN DUMP,
I AM REALLY SAD RIGHTNOW AND HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO,
I WANTTO TEXT SOMENE BUT NOONE CARES.(shoot caps lock was on)
I just recently made the decision to call my coworkers friends because I think we might actually be friends,
I want to talk to someone but nope, my minds been in a dark place a while recently,
nobody notices and I know they don't have to but you know it would be nice,
but its ok its probably just because something more important

how often do you fantasize about death, your death?
do you ever entertain the idea of dying right now?
maybe just a quick little thought of what if I drive into this ditch,
What would it be like if I died?
would anyone care, would they mourn for years or just moments,
how would my friends react, would they be thankful or would they be devastated,
I probably should stop

my age is high but small,
its not that we dont trust you,
you are doing so well just dont fail,
you are not allowed to fail,
you can talk to us just dont be rude,
but dont talk to us,
we care about you and your opinions,
just think like us,
whats your thoughts on the move?
I dont want to go,
not those thoughts,
why do you feel so lonely, no ones ever made you feel lonely,
sorry not lonely