salt laced tingles fills lungs on a open bright day
drenched in Chardonnay slathered words.
laying in the soft grass of summer
we laugh and giggle stories.
talking to my sister hugged by her comforting words
the man next to us bends his needle
as he drifts off into a chemical ecstasy.
hooray for family gatherings

fragmented
you have an impeccable way to make me know im nothing
ive helped u
healed you
loved you
yet when i want you
youre too far away and busy thought we live in the same town.
for weeks your too busy for a message
yet at a drop of the hat you can drive miles
seeing someone you haven't known in years.
this petty existence isnt enough
for i know despite the fact you tell me you love me
i know am nothing but a fragment of the history of your use to be lovers.

you played me gently
your tender spanish guitar
******* at my nylon strings.
rocking my body
i sing our melody
your soul echoes through me
as i become your extended body
you caress my neck
                                stroking
                                           pressing
                                                       holding
my essences with tender love and care
the fiber of my heart string pull
as you rip me open
you pluck hard
as each fiber loosens
ripping the strings apart
i bleed this black blood
tainted with the smog
you infected me
you play with distortion
clashing echos as you squeeze me
smashed my body
And the music stops.
i lay in pieces
finding nothing in peace

I want my heart to stop beating
thoughts stop thinking
breathes to stop gasping
I'm tired and I want to go to bed.

i don't know weather time is dripping or running
but reality has woven a new life
the essences of it is ***** of green and purple
revealing everything is breathing and beautiful
as we age and die
from our lives of moments pass
we lay together in the tunnel of sanity
for reality becomes insanity.

August sun stung my eyes
as sweat trickled down my brow waiting.
Anxiety and Fantasy banged around in my head turning like a picture book
i saw you emerge from the blinding lights and heat waves
Baby i was smitten by you
inhaling deep sweet smokes from the tip of a pipe
i walked a concrete line as sweltering reality dipped and swerved
dancing around your carelessly moving body
Baby i was infatuated by you.
resting in the shadows of the day
I, i couldn't breathe
you stole the breath from me as you kissed me
i had an enviable lust for you
Baby i loved you
the gentle swerves became dodges
I grew impatient with you
having miserable meetings over your movements
you chose to move with someone else when i went to the bathroom
Baby i hated you.
blinded by the words burnt into my head
feeling her imprint where I
I was suppose to fit!
Baby i hated you!
i gave you my heart  and you burnt it!
BABY I LOVED YOU!
this monkey wrench beaten me into madness,
impaled by my rage
I ******* hate you!
your gentle touches ripped the fabric of my soul
you ******* murdered me!
Baby you burnt me.
leaving nothing but a ****** scarlet letter
i scrubbed my skin with sandpaper
And couldn't get rid of your traces
Baby i longed for you.
i needed you.
i loved you.
**I love you.

my heart is
concealed.
fluttering vibrations coat my throat holding the gasps of his essences I draw in
I am frozen.
convulsing on this bed
I am deaf
and I love it.
the buzzing in my head makes me weightless
I am floating
and I love it.
rolling my neck like a swan
I am freely chained to your body
and I love it.
feeding on your exhale
I am thriving
on your ecstasy alone
and I love it.
legs going numb
only feeling between my thighs
and I love it.
the burning on my ***
from the slap by your hand
and I love it.
red is smoldering.
as I lay by your side
and I love it.
the blanket of afterglow
while we finally are alone
and I love it.