Little brother says:
In my next Mine Craft project will be Mongolian themed,
I'm going to build a big compound and fill it full of factory machinery.
Aug 9, 2013
Aug 9, 2013 at 11:48 PM UTC
I remember a boy,
he had blond hair and blue eyes.
When I was eleven,
heasked me to go on a date,
I had never been on a date before...
We went to the movies,
I dont remember much about it.
Only the feeling of nervousness
in my tummy.
It wasn't like the nervousness
I got when I was older though.
It was the blushing,
silly,
tripping over feet
and head butting each other when trying to kiss
kind of nervousness.
I think the movie we saw was Cars
and he may have tried to hold me hand once.
The part I remember the most,
was when we were in his room,
and my head was resting on his tummy,
and we were looking at eachother
with a fondness in our eyes
I have rarely seen,
maybe never.
And I could hear his tummy making noises,
and it sounded like
when you put your ears beneath the water in the bathtub,
and you hear everything that isn't normally there.
I started to fall asleep,
with my face still on his soft tummy,
and I think he was still looking at me.
My last thought before drifting off was;
'His tummy is kind of like mine,
bigger than most,
but really soft and comforting,
the perfect tummy to fall
asleep on.'
.................
I remembered you today,
boy with the blond hair and blue eyes.
I remembered how we went on a date,
my first date,
and how your tummy matched mine.
I remembered how my father said;
'*What a cute, fat little couple'*
And how I didn't know how to deal with that,
how I didn't know how to tell you,
so I didn't tell you anything...
I wonder how much would have changed,
if you would have been,
instead of him.
I even remembered your name today,
it was Jacob
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 12:31 AM UTC
Those starting over points,
when we need to try,
something new.
We didnt even know what that meant,
but we still tried.
And when the combination of friends
that we spent
every
waking
moment
with
got old, we decided it was time,
time for that something new.
We were like bad 90's T.V. shows to each other.
We would laugh and feel that bitter sweet sense of Nostalgia,
but when we parted ways we would all just realize,
that we were just trying to make the past real again.
Make those endless nights
linger a little longer.
Make the kisses
mean a little more.
......
All we were ever doing was fooling ourselves,
into thinking we were alive.
Into thinking we were in love.
Into thinking we were friends.
And when that fact became too noticeable,
we would switch,
rearrange,
and trade each other for another,
hoping that the one that left took the loneliness that haunted us all with them,
and the one that arrived brought the love we were all searching for with them.
.....but is always came back.....
For me,
I would notice when they started looking at me different,
as if they knew something they thought they shouldn't,
knew something that I didn't know.
And responses
would get short,
conversations
would cease to be interesting,
and then one day I would come by unannounced,
just like all the other times,
and find everyone there,
laughing together
looking happier than they had in weeks.
In that moment before I walked in,
everything was okay again,
everything was normal,
the loneliness had left.
Then when I walked into the room,
it was as if I I had just caught my love in bed with someone else,
a 'hand-in-the-cookie-jar' kind of moment.
I had become the bearer of all of their loneliness,
I had become the mirror reflecting the empty room
that they were always trying to fill.
So in this moment,
I would make one of two decisions;
leave
or sit down as if nothing was wrong,
and spend the nest week proving my worth
to a tribe who had already voted me off the island.
And part of me wants to say it wasn't just me,
that others would know exactly what I meant,
what I had felt,
but for the sake of the feelings,
of the reality
of
that
moment,
when I was the only one,
and no one else wanted to feel it,
that is where I want to be right now,
so that it can be felt,
so that after this,
noone and nothing
can ever trap me there again.
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 12:02 AM UTC
I feel very stuck sometimes,
between stubbornness and pride.
That when I look into their eyes,
I feel like I am feeling shamed,
but that isn't mine,
that isn't now,
it was them
and it was then.
I feel like a small child,
digging my heels into a non-existant ground,
because I did something wrong,
and won't give into admitting it.
Than it comes back to my current self,
the one that was and yet still kind of is.
and I rip the demon from my back,
and pray that when I am vulnerable next,
it won't come back for seconds.
But I know it will,
until I am strong enough to make it not,
but until then,
I still have Them,
the ones that will protect me the way no one else would,
the ones that love me the way that they didn't.
But now I am here,
still not quite sure what that means,
but one day I will,
and I will be that girl I saw in the double reflection of the glass door.
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 1:02 AM UTC
Divinity,
literally meaning "A godlike state of being"
So when it is questioned,
where is your divinity?
All that needs to be remembered is that we are god like,
we were made from the bones of the Earth
and became the protectors of this domain.
not that we've done the best at protecting it up till now
We were born within divinity,
and the only time the God Light stops shining upon us
is when we forget how divine We really are.
And it never really stops shining,
we just turn our faces to the darkness.
Divine is taking two parts of the whole and joining them together at last.
the Divine Male and the Divine Female,
have we all just assumed that they use this word for the funsies?
HA!
Togeather the two halves make the whole of our beings,
creating the 'godlike' selves incarnated upon the physical plane.
For when we are within the in between,
we can freely choose the *** of the next body,
meaning that we are sexless entities,
with that balance within our souls
that fill us with the life force of the Gods!
We are free to sway to and frow
within this omnipresent universe,
but are still capable of taking form,
and polarizing to one *** or the other.
Well, most of us that is ;D
As long as no part of us is trapped within denial,
denial of the self,
of the other,
and of our own Divinity on this plane of being.
We must embrace the Mother within us,
as well as the Father within us,
and then we shall understand the Yin and the Yong,
Black and White,
Space and Light.
We will be able to open the Space for the true Light to come through us,
filling the Void that is the Mother.
beauty radiating and reflecting from our eyes into one anothers',
and then we will understand love.
And we will finally be able to look into each others eyes,
and see ourselves for the first time
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 1:46 PM UTC
No matter what I do
it happens again.
I start to think of a starfish,
and his eyes come to mind.
Who is he?
I don't really know,
most of the time he has
brown eyes.
But it seems to be whoever
I happen to fancy at that time.
And its not as if that is seldom,
because I seem to find beauty in almost everyone I am around.
But with this, how am I supposed to let him come to me,
when even though I am not looking
I see potential.
They are all so beautiful.
his hair
his writing
his literacy
his coherency
his incarnation into his body
And the thing that makes me pause?
makes me wonder?
space
distance
understanding
intent
origin
All things that must be considered...
Are you up for the task?
Up for the unbending intent
and the unwavering eyes.
Most of us know what love feels like,
at least the physical/emotional level,
but can you tell me what it looks like,
and what it does?
Can you tell me something I don't already know.
Not a fact but a truth?
Can you show me that you're Him,
without even trying,
without it being the goal?
This is what I want.
I want the world,
I want Him,
to be with Her,
and for us to be the vessels of that love.
Can you give me eternity,
without thinking it impossible?
Can you look into my eyes,
and I into yours,
and both see the trauma and the lies,
but to also see the truth that lies behind?
And can we battle the demons inside,
to find that truth,
to know that truth.
Will you destroy hordes of demons with me,
and stand victorious by my side?
Will you push off from shore towards battle,
and fight the very gods
to find me once more?
Will you travel to the beginning
of Thyme
to find each and every form
that love had ever taken?
Will you love me,
in every form that I take
that is Her?
Will you embrace every form
that He has taken,
and see yourself
for the portal of divinity that you are?
Will you travel to the end of the Earth,
just to find a letter that says:
Keep Looking
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 11:49 PM UTC
Flies killed: 56
Origin: Unknown
Report:
Base sealed all day, no possible point of entry. Flies, where you come from?!
Hypothesis:
Flies used means of Spontaneous Generation to enter my room.
Aristotle:1
Pasteur:0
1 fly remains, doom is coming to you my four legged foe!
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 8:31 PM UTC
He pointed a gun at me,
not to any place in particular,
He looked at me,
with a smile that would befit a greedy king.
They shot me,
in places I wouldn't die from.
Then he took me,
and tried to force himself into me.
I smiled then,
and laughed as if it were fun.
He was taken aback then,
because I had shown him,
what he had become.
I even kissed him once,
and the passion in his mouth
told that he thought he had found his one.
....
Then that girl walked in,
unaware of the folly that had begun.
The one with small hips,
and a disconnect from he base chakra,
that she insisted she had.
That is why she saw nothing amiss,
in the scene that lay before her.
Then her other side kicked in,
like a bad cut displaying the side effects
of a life of imbalance and self deceit.
And she wanted him for herself.
....my god this girl is going to get us both killed.
I demanded she leave,
with a force in my voice she would never know,
she looked at me as if I were selfish...
....maybe I should leave and let her stay -_-
....no, this has to end.
When she left,
he returned,
and I layed back down with him,
and held him like his mother never did..
He met the mother that day,
when he was pulled through the void,
he returned back home,
and was held the whole way.
Then I was left,
sitting alone and naked on the bed,
with the warm Light
of the spring day
shining through the bay windows
to the East of Enlightenment.
silently pulling the stray bullets,
out of my soft flesh.
Jul 13, 2013
Jul 13, 2013 at 4:59 PM UTC
Imagine if each and every one of us were different
with the same face as before
but different names.
Imagine if all the things we experienced
never really happened the way they did.
When you had once been my friend,
but here you had always been my lover.
What if I had a crush on you,
and when we went to my friends house,
I had kissed her instead of you.
And when someone asked you who you are,
where you come from,
and where you plan to go,
none of the answers you would give them,
sounded familiar to this new part of your soul.
Imagine if everything was switched around,
and you were me and I was you,
not in face but in rank,
and nothing seemed
out of the ordinary.
There would still be mysteries and beer,
There would still be shock and heart break,
but everything you once knew to be you or them
suddenly got switched around,
or wasn't there.
I once imagined I was me but wasn't,
and all the things I did had changed.
When I looked into her eyes she didn't
see me.
And when I stood up for him
he didn't care
none of the emotions I had felt
had ever really been.
And none of the experiences I had,
would prepare me for what was to be.
...
When I awoke I wasn't sure if I was
dreaming,
because I wasn't sure if my
memories were real.
All I'm really sure of is that I am here,
but I am not sure what is Me.
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 11, 2013 at 8:56 PM UTC
That night that you ****** me like a *****
your final dream came true.
You became the man,
that no girl ever wants to meet.
I did the only thing I knew how to do,
when I wanted to forget.
My stomach full of wine,
making my eyes believe that he
was you.
I was angry and thirsty when I awoke.
Her refrigerator only had 3 things in it,
alcohol, cold water and old cheese.
When I looked up,
you were standing there
looking at me with those big brown eyes.
You looked as sad as I felt,
tragedy was written on your face.
And your arms stretched out to meet my broken heart.
When we layed back down,
to the places that we should,
you looked so soft in comparison,
to the boy I layed beside.
When you invited me to lay with you,
your voice was so much softer,
than it had been in recent weeks.
I wanted to know why...
Why you were doing that.
Giving me that look,
with those eyes that I wanted to badly
to see me again.
...
You told me that you loved her,
and that you still cared for me.
Then you ****** me like a *****
on our best friend's hallway floor.
And when I said I love you,
you looked at me with that same hallow stare,
from the week before.
...you said nothing...
All of the things I wanted to say,
and all the things I still do,
were trapped in the walls of that apartment,
and in the walls of our wombs,
that you deny you have.
And that night you became the man,
that you never wanted to be.
And I became the *****
that made that okay.
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 4:09 PM UTC