I feel very stuck sometimes,
between stubbornness and pride.
That when I look into their eyes,
I feel like I am feeling shamed,
but that isn't mine,
that isn't now,
it was them
and it was then.
I feel like a small child,
digging my heels into a non-existant ground,
because I did something wrong,
and won't give into admitting it.
Than it comes back to my current self,
the one that was and yet still kind of is.
and I rip the demon from my back,
and pray that when I am vulnerable next,
it won't come back for seconds.
But I know it will,
until I am strong enough to make it not,
but until then,
I still have Them,
the ones that will protect me the way no one else would,
the ones that love me the way that they didn't.
But now I am here,
still not quite sure what that means,
but one day I will,
and I will be that girl I saw in the double reflection of the glass door.
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 1:02 AM UTC
I feel very stuck sometimes,
between stubbornness and pride.
That when I look into their eyes,
I feel like I am feeling shamed,
but that isn't mine,
that isn't now,
it was them
and it was then.
I feel like a small child,
digging my heels into a non-existant ground,
because I did something wrong,
and won't give into admitting it.
Than it comes back to my current self,
the one that was and yet still kind of is.
and I rip the demon from my back,
and pray that when I am vulnerable next,
it won't come back for seconds.
But I know it will,
until I am strong enough to make it not,
but until then,
I still have Them,
the ones that will protect me the way no one else would,
the ones that love me the way that they didn't.
But now I am here,
still not quite sure what that means,
but one day I will,
and I will be that girl I saw in the double reflection of the glass door.
Not extremely poetic, just didn't have my notebook on me.
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