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10 love-notes.
1. I note the tone of the way you say, "I love you too." / Always with a hint of doubt that I could taste on your tongue. / Like you were tired of me.
55
Nov 29, 2019
1:54 AM
no one ever taught me / not to make homes out of the people i kiss, / not to make space in my ribcage for every meaningless "i love you"
9
Jan 5, 2017
19d
ive been thinking a lot, you know, about being alone. about my body as a vacant room. about the loneliness of a room with someone in it that wishes they were somewhere else. no matter what corner i turn to, every room is empty. / ive been thinking about forming habits, too. about how they say it takes three weeks to develop a habit and four weeks for your skin cells to regenerate. as the days get closer i wonder if my skin will know that you're gone when the clock runs out on the last day. if it will feel like how you touched me before you left in some expulsion of your last traces. if my hands will shake and i will wish you were next to me again, all over me like you're hiding me from the world. / ive been thinking about how you hid me from the world. i get to this part and i stop writing. you asked me to fight everyone with you and start over, you asked me to run away and build from scratch and it sounded like seduction. you made it sound so good, i get to the part where i wanted it and i stop writing.
24
Sep 24, 2018
7/20/2017
take a girl. take / all of her hurt, all of the nails piercing her hands, all / of the dead flowers taped to her skin. take her hair,
46
Nov 30, 2017
a hotel room for a body
there is a bed that you haven't slept in twice. i should have asked you who taught you to / lace up your shoes in an instinct / that feels just like a memory,
42
Apr 10, 2017
a list of things i am doing without you
I. watching a lot of sit-com television. i notice when the audience forces their track-laughter at all the bad jokes. / II. listening to music from the seventies. i had to get new music taste. all of my old favorite songs have your name written in the lyrics, i turn them off as soon as they come on. / III. reading a lot of poetry books. sometimes, people write things and i feel like they are coming directly from my fingertips, like they know exactly what you've said to me and how hard it knocked the air out of my lungs.
30
May 25, 2017
all im asking for is one minute
i try not to write poetry with your name in mind / because maybe im afraid of getting optimistic / maybe hopeful is too much of a burden to carry around
41
May 5, 2016
ALONE (noun; verb)
The art of being lonely, / Something I've perfected after years of / Screaming and pounding. The act of being
21
Aug 22, 2019
alternate worlds
in a different world i am waking up from a nap when you walk down the stairs with your work clothes on. you pull your shirt over your head and lean in to kiss me on the cheek. i am curled up in your blankets and you lay down next to me. you whisper something against my skin and i fall back asleep. / in a different world i don't savor every second i have with you, i let them pass by lazily. there will be more and more and more. more you walking down the stairs and pulling your shirt over your head. more leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. more blankets and more your skin on mine. / in a different world we eat dinner together, we split one meal like we always do. we eat off the same plate like we always do. we fight over the best bits of the dish like we always do. i win, like you always let me, because you like seeing me eat. we do dishes, we take turns. sometimes you cook and sometimes we walk to the store and sometimes we go out and sit in the same booth. your hand is on my leg the entire time. we make fun of the conversations around us, you mess with the waiter and i drop my silverware. when we get outside you wrap your arms around me and kiss my cheek for no reason.
36
Nov 6, 2017
a man who can't stay sober
he can't write sober. the mind of a man who / drinks too much whiskey and touches girls without / blinking. whos body is cold no matter how large the fire in
49
Nov 9, 2017
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