You've made me have these feelings
Which I simply can't contain
Even though our relationship
Was simply so insane
The bed sheets on my bed remain
From the last time you were here
Which I know you may find gross
But it makes me think you're here
I look at my phone every chance I get
Just to see if you've left a simple little text
But my home screen remains empty
Which gets me slightly vexed
I know it's only been a day
But my feelings of you still come back
They linger around
Like a fly that you can't seem to smack
I sit her dwelling on the cute memories we had
Just like the time we shared a bubble bath
But I know that to you
It was a way to avoid my hidden wrath
You had me hypnotised
From the ******** that spilled from your mouth
The way you said you worried that one day I'd be gone
But you've just made us go further down south
Because lying is the thing that I simply can't stand
But congratulations as you've got the win
You have now gotten rid of me
Even though you remain under my skin
So go on enjoy you're freedom
Because soon you'll see what you had and sit there all glum
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 7:48 PM UTC
i don't want to walk with you
or to pillow talk with you
i want just you
i don't want to die with you
or to get high with you
i want just you
i don't want to curl up with you
or to be love struck by you
i want just you
i don't want cute dates with you
or to wake next to you
i want just you
i don't want to get to know you
over dinner, then to owe you
i want just you
i don't want commitment
or to have to admit that
i want more than 'just you'
though it’s a shame love has hurt me before
it's getting much harder for me to ignore:
the fact that i don't really want 'just you'
it's all the little things that i don't want to want to
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 7:24 PM UTC
Let me start by saying
I don't believe in love
But please let me explain
that it's just a rule of thumb
I say I hate the world
as I have a fear of rejection
I'm slightly socially awkward
especially when showing affection
However, beneath the surface
is another side to me
which i hide away from the world
for only a few to see:
I act like I'm the best
because I feel like I'm the worst
I shake my fringe and lower my head
when I'm uncomfortable or hurt
I have a tendency to overthink
and I get jealous easily
and I find it hard admit
as I'm afraid of people seeing all of me
I don't like to tell people these things
as it makes me feel vulnerable
just like I'll only sing to you
when I am feeling comfortable
I know you know I say 'shut up'
when what I really mean is 'yes'
there's a reason I'm telling you all these thing
that I probably should confess
I wanted to let you know me
but I was unsure how to do it
so I had to write a poem
or I'd be too awkward to get through it
So I have to tell you in a poem
how I really feel
before I change my mind
and the truth is never revealed
I say I'm really good with words
when actually, I'm just average
I'll say one thing but you'll know I mean another
if you watch my body language
I say that i don't give a ****
and that is sometimes true
but you can tell I'm lying
if I can't look at you
I've said I don't believe in love
yet I believe in fate
and I guess I like you quite a bit
so I'll tell it to you straight
i don't like expressing emotions
so forgive me if I'm blunt
but listen close to this
because I'll only say it once
-
I like the way you sing to me
though sometimes out of tune
I like the way when we lie down
you let me be the little spoon
I like how we don't have to talk
when we lay side by side
I love it when you tell me
that you miss me late at night
I hate your slow replies
but that's only because I'm needy
I like how we think we're really cute
when others think we're cheesy
I like the way you're patient
and how you hold my hand
i like the way you're respectful
and the way you understand
I like how we feel comfortable
when we're around each other
but i have to admit you're super annoying
when you steal all the covers
Your eyes, I've noticed, do this thing
where they go really soft
and i don't know if you knew
but you do it quite a lot
I like the way that sometimes
in your kitchen we'll slow dance
And normally I'm quite wary
but with you I took a chance
i hate the way you outsmart me
and how you're often right
I hate the way you cross my mind
every single night
I laugh at the face you make
when my hair falls in the way
I find it funny how we insult each other
at least five times a day
'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'
is what we both live by
but I know I won't feel worthy of you
however hard I may try
I've said I don't believe in love
as it's a common misconception
but maybe I'm starting to think
that every rule has an exception
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 7:22 PM UTC
You loved me when
I was loved by everyone else
but when I was lonely,
you only made me lonelier.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 7:18 PM UTC
I sit there with bloodshot, swollen eyes
A tear stained face
A trembling body
A runny nose
Look what you've done to me,
Is this really what you wanted
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 8:39 AM UTC
Everyone says ditch them
But it's not so easy
They say they're not true friends
But it's not so easy
Some say they dwell on my misery
But it's not so easy
They ask why I remain friends with them
But it's not so easy
It's not easy letting go of all your memories
You see, all my memories are embedded in these people
So it's not so easy
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 7:02 AM UTC
i will watch as you walk away with pieces of my brittle heart lodged into your palms
and i hope they sting every time her hand slips into yours
i will watch empty promises tumble from your mouth as you exhale
and i hope you choke on them
and as you breathe in every molecule of her perfume
i hope the scent stings your nose
i will watch you kiss her and kiss her and kiss her
and i hope it's the best experience of your life
so i watch you fall from grace as she discards you like a jumper she has outgrown
and i taste the same sweet satisfaction you did when she kissed you
i watch as a drunken mess
because the hangovers hurt much less than even a fleeting thought of you
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 6:52 AM UTC
just hormones
i tell myself
not real pain
not a big deal
but everything hurts and i want to die
just hormones
hiding behind eyeliner
it masks the red
i wasn't crying
allergies
mine are bad this time of year
i wasn't sad
why do you ask?
how ridiculous
i
don't
get
sad
i don't need help
i just need some time alone
no people
just the static crackling of a car radio a few yards away
a talk show with the volume **** turned too loud
screams and laughter from where my friends stand
they aren't like me
they don't want me
i don't want them
i'll hide in a corner
hide behind a mask
of eyeliner
and lip gloss
cloaked in shadows
drip drip
goes the water
it's cold over here
but hidden
nobody can see me
i'm just another person on their phone
clipped into technology
indifferent
not in pain
just hormones
i remind myself
you aren't really hurting
the slightest touch will turn your eyes into waterfalls
so stay hidden
stay safe
it's ***** over here
bird **** on a window
how is it that even possible?
moist
disgusting
guarded by 6th graders
to afraid to approach me
but i can feel their eyes on me
creepy pasta
is what they discuss
as they beat their violin strings
with their bows
unpleasant noises
there's my mom's car
pulling up
get ready
smile
energy
brush your hair back
natural
act natural
"How was your day?"
hard
"Fine"
it's just hormones.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 6:50 AM UTC
I hate the way you made me cry
And the way I let you in
I hate the way I thought you loved me
Even though that's no longer true
I hate the way I told you my secrets and all of my problems too
I hate the way you knew about my brave shield and still decided to knock it down
I hate the way you gave up without a fight
Even though I know that's what you wanted
I hate the way that you picked now to let it out, at the time I loved you the most
I hate the way I believed you when you'd say you love me every night
And call me perfect even though I knew it was a lie
I hate the fact that you were the reason for the smile on my face
And even worse the tears on my cheek
I hate the way the last memory I have of you is the best we ever shared
Even though your intentions were far away from mine
I hate the way I still remember your little quirks
And you claim to remember mine
And the way I can still remember how your touch felt against my skin
And the butterflies I got in the pit of my stomach when we kissed
I hate the way you accepted my faults and I did the same to you
And the fact you were my first everything
I hate how every room in my house is filled with memories of you
I hate the fact we wasted so much time and the way you didn't give it a second thought
I hate the fact I know you won't change your mind about this no matter how hard I try
And I hate the fact you left my life without any kind of warning
And the fact I didn't have an impact on your life like you did in mine
But most of all I hate the fact I don't hate you, in fact you were the first guy I loved
But you know what, **** you, I'm a diamond not a rock
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 6:34 AM UTC