By the first of August
the invisible beetles began
to snore and the grass was
as tough as hemp and was
no color--no more than
the sand was a color and
we had worn our bare feet
bare since the twentieth
of June and there were times
we forgot to wind up your
alarm clock and some nights
we took our gin warm and neat
from old jelly glasses while
the sun blew out of sight
like a red picture hat and
one day I tied my hair back
with a ribbon and you said
that I looked almost like
a puritan lady and what
I remember best is that
the door to your room was
the door to mine.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 7:44 PM UTC
We think we're alone,
But we only have to look around,
And we're just like everyone else.
Typical, sad teenagers,
Aware it's generic yet it feels so personal,
Driving our insecurities more and more.
And I don't know which would be worse,
To be so alone,
Or to mean nothing at all.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 7:16 PM UTC
a lone star
stuck between galaxies,
watches the other stars
wishing for a super nova to pass
waiting for its chance to impress
as who can be impressed by the shine,
if nobody can see it?
maybe they can see
they just want to ignore
they ignore the last
glimmer of personality
the universe is never ending,
but forever this star is alone,
trying to impress, those who
can’t see, the hopeless
glimmer that wishes to be a shine
but that doesn’t want to be
annoying.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 6:55 PM UTC
i look at the mirror.
i stare at myself.
how could i be an alien
under my very own skin?
i wear layers and layers
to cover the alien outside
but, each attempt i make
adds to the demon inside.
i cry.
i reason.
i spend hours in the dark.
to fight away the demon that has already made its mark.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 3:00 PM UTC
Guns they sit, cold and still,
Until they're fired, then they ****
Knives are fine, whilst they lay
Until they're fired, then they slay
Grenades are shy, in their shell,
Until the pin drop and the life they quell
Ropes are good, they have their use,
Until they are used for a noose
Words are brilliant, truthful, not vain
Until they cause too much pain
Until they make you use the gun, knife, grenade or rope
So be careful what you say
But how can you stop?
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 2:42 PM UTC
He said she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.
She replied, monotone 'You obviously haven't seen enough girls, if its me'
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 2:24 PM UTC
I want to look in the mirror and get butterflies
I want to become my own lover’s eyes
its so strange that I am the person who knows me best
and we still haven’t fallen in love yet
Looking at myself at arms length I can honestly say
I know your November birthday
and the way the Beatles make you twist and shout
I know your favorite books from cover to cover,
the magical mysteries you couldn’t live without
You hate monkeys, oranges and lies
you love horses, strawberries and quirks
you paint your eyelids a light silver every morning
just to hide the places that have so often hurt
I feel your every tear graze my eternally rosy cheeks
I know that Sunday mornings are the best parts of your weeks
I know what you love and I know what you need,
why won’t you take a chance on loving me?
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 2:20 PM UTC
i bought a pack of cigarettes tonight, even though my lungs don't work quite right.
i sat on the stairs in the yard of the old house with its walls crumbling,
with its facade turned to dust.
the air was so cold it stung my fingers, frost licking my face,
turning my cheeks blood-red but nothing hurt
as much as you do.
i smoked a cigarette tonight, even though my lungs don't work quite right.
the smoke filled me up and i feared
it would leak out of all the holes you punched in me.
it didn't. i choked and i coughed and it felt a little like drowning.
like your mouth on my mouth, like your teeth on my neck.
i choked and i coughed and it felt a little like you
so i liked it.
who cares i almost died.
i smoked a second cigarette tonight, even though my lungs don't work quite right.
nicotine ran in my veins,
blue rivers along my pale skin and it felt, it really felt
a lot like love. a lot like you. a lot like us.
galaxies scattered across my skin, poison running in my blood,
yes, it felt a lot like us.
i didn't choke this time, but i think you would have laughed
at the way i ******
on the cigarette ****
i smoked a third cigarette tonight, even though my lungs don't work quite right.
i swallowed cancer like a drug and it stung
at the back of my throat, and it burned and it burned and it burned
as ash gathered at the burning end
and fell to the ground like snowflakes,
little flakes of ash on my sneakers
and it reminded me of your kisses a little, i didn't choke this time.
i laughed. a bitter laugh.
you hurt at the back of my mind as i put
the cigarette out and i thought about the way
you'd look at me, boldness in your eyes, hair a little all over
the place and your mouth
shaped in a little "o"
as you blew circles of smoke out.
i smoked a fourth cigarette tonight, even though my lungs don't work quite right.
the cold stung but not as much as my lungs burnt and my brain burned
and you hurt.
i blew smoke out but never quite like you did,
and i thought it looked and was a little
ridiculous maybe
to burn the leaves of a plant wrapped in paper
and fill our fragile bodies with the exhausts
we breathe out smoke like broken steam engines,
ain't it funny, haha.
you'd laugh, harshly, you'd bite me, you were always
a little rough.
i smoked a fifth cigarette tonight, even though my lungs don't work quite right.
it's not half as venomous as you were, i decided.
i put it out.
cigarettes are so not worth the hype.
you were.
you are.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 2:19 PM UTC
Words flying around my head
Whilst I desire my bed
The motivation is no longer
But how can my dreams come true I wonder
As I think
In between my sheets
I break the promises I have vowed to keep
Escape this place, this tired town
How to not settle down
I don’t want to stay
But work is so hard, I want to wail
As my brain is fuzzy
And I limbs don’t work
I curl up , and embrace my future
Don’t work, don’t achieve
Stay in my tomb, that I have shut
The daily routine to carry on
Never stopping
My life never moving on
If I put in no work, I can’t go on
But how to give, when it’s all I've been doing
All my life, my brain stretched and molded
And now I wonder has it all been for nothing
You’re smart, You’re capable
You’ll sail through
You’re pretty
You’re charming
DON’T YOU HAVE A CLUE?
It’s not enough, nothing is
I could give my soul
I can’t cope, I can’t achieve
There’s nothing left
I sleep on my tear sodden pillow
Hoping to wake up,
But hoping to stay asleep.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 2:14 PM UTC