Spoke to God recently
told him I'm lonely
told him that my friends keep leaving me
that it hurts
that I'm feeling weak
empty
He told me
as the anxiety was sinking deep
You don't see what I see
The beautiful people you shall someday meet
There is a future beyond your track record
that fills you will disappointment
and isolation
every time you think - overthink about it
But you are not filled with the things you keep telling yourself
or defined by your circumstances that seem to confirm your feelings
You are filled with me
Full of promise
and
Love that eradicates fear
a Lionees
that is not waiting to be loved
but waiting to be her full powerful beautiful self
your loneliness is cured in knowing yourself with Me
Dec 26, 2018
Dec 26, 2018 at 2:53 PM UTC
Too many expectations;
with too much reality
causes
too much disappointment
and too little
euphoria for me
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 4:24 PM UTC
Push back that limp piece of hair behind the thinness of your ears
and look at yourself full on, no make-up, or mask, or paint or picture
just DNA,
yours.
I see waves of songs and lyrics attached to flesh, can you hear it?
That transcendental vocal like a babies cry and a mother tender eye,
a demise too immortal for human opinion.
But I know you hear it too, the other sound of lies that are inescapable
and so pungent it turns milk sour and crushes noses
you take small bites, and pretend to dance
as you listen to that melody as if it was truth
but darling its not truth,
for the acne scars, and full lips, the birthmarks and stolen hips,
flat chest, and dent of skin, is beautiful to me cause I see what's flowing from within
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 9:06 AM UTC
I want to be left alone
yet I want someone to talk to me
I want to drown in my thoughts
but cant stop thinking, thinking about that one thought that is killing me
I wish and pray and scream for a way out of this misery
and when it does come I can't handle it; the normality,
the security...
the unfamiliar thing called happiness
the suspense of what will happen next
....Because those things don't come easy
or free to me
What's wrong with me?
May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014 at 7:27 PM UTC
Shower cry's
late nights
silver highs,
running lights
bruised limbs
strangled throats
looking for
our suicide notes
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 10:16 AM UTC
'Nothing bad is going to happen'
is the alternative thought that
I wish would stop me bleeding.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 1:40 PM UTC
He said she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.
She replied, monotone 'You obviously haven't seen enough girls, if its me'
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 1:37 PM UTC
Irrational thoughts come streaming
like destructive fireworks, grenades awaiting to blow
bombs of anxiety that
sit and tick in my brain.
These clock faces are making me go insane.
Yes, I know doctor
I know, mother
the thoughts are not true
that he will control me if I speak to soon
that they hate me because I said I like the colour blue
that I will be alone and everyone else will find true
love.
For people smile at me through gleaming eyes
and glossy lips
with no idea of the hit and miss.
Can they not see the internal hell that wages a war inside this shell of a body?
Can they not see as I hold a conversation, the fear in the corners of my eyes?
Can they not see me back bend, shoulders over as my chest fills with pain, an anchor weighing me down to the depts of the sea.
I smile back and walk on
head down,
try not to see, hear or feel
the invisible figures that
taunt me.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 1:27 PM UTC
I sit in a park in central London.
Observing the passers by,
with skins of coco, porcelain and almond
we are unified by this thing called being human.
As the blur of faces pass,
I wonder about occupation...past life...
the things that go through everyone's minds.
Even the,
buying tomorrows chicken, going to go fishing
staying up past 10, staring at the kitchen.
Sometimes solitude can be overwhelming
I wish someone would ask how I'm doing.
But this city is not for friends
for I could talk to a silver statue and still feel warmer
that when I'm with you.
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014 at 8:43 AM UTC