You only touch me when I’m not looking
Stuck in traffic, my eyes on the road
Or when I pretend to be asleep,
Afraid to breathe, to startle you—
You, like a deer in the headlights;
Me, the driver, blinded by the night
It is strange: the touch, the flinch
In the moment of alert and panic
It felt warm like the blood of the dear
Oozing, reaching the car,
To finally meet the driver
Touching me terrifies you to death
And only in death are you brave enough
To reach for me, embrace me
It’s you who flinch now when I look,
Hand quicker than your thoughts
You didn’t hesitate, and I didn’t ask
Lights off now, I get out of the car
But you have run off to where I cannot see you
Oct 21, 2023
Oct 21, 2023 at 6:40 AM UTC
Today I grieve the loss of an old friend.
She knew how to spin pretty words from
Raw emotions and weave them into worlds.
Today I grieve the loss of myself.
In the process of growing I’ve discovered that
A life without poetry is a life truly miserable.
I have not been able to lift up a pen
And write to my heart’s content.
I have lost the magic since I met
A man who crushed me with his mere existence.
A power once lost cannot return so soon.
It is my biggest fear yet —
I do not know when I will be able to write again.
Dec 13, 2022
Dec 13, 2022 at 1:44 AM UTC
from the moment i opened my eyes
i had no choice but to love you
to cherish you as if one day you would leave me
and start a new family somewhere far away
from the moment i could stand
i had no choice but to run to you
for comfort and love
but father,
tell me,
why don’t i feel loved?
is there something wrong with me?
is there a secret you haven’t told?
that you have never loved me at all
how come you don’t want me?
from the moment i began to think
i could only ask myself the same questions
over and over, father,
tell me,
is it something i’ve done?
is it that i’m the mistake you’ve created?
or how much burden i bring you?
how much i am spending?
but father,
each day i live as if i am no longer human
my needs do not exist because
those of yours are mine
so father,
tell me
when has your love for me finally died?
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 10:17 AM UTC
i am a daughter of wind and fire
in the summer when the two clashed
i was born
my mother,
she ignites dry leaves beneath her feet,
providing warmth when night comes
but with too much fury she fuels herself and destroys
and into dust we become if we are one step too close
my father,
the east wind who comforts with air
sweeping us to meet the stars when the fire scorches
but he is also a hurricane if we are not careful
he will perish the trees and the life residing within
my sister,
she is safe with her little bird friends
they will fly her away when the forest starts to burn
she will leave with the gentle winds
they will fly her charcoal body to a near riverbank
myself,
i am safe for i have developed strength
to tolerate the fire and the wind and
the quiet of the fiery requiem,
a lullaby to put life to sleep
at dawn, the ashes learn to fly once more
the trees fall, a kingdom of crimson and gold
and amongst the gray i am risen
a daughter of wind and fire
the product of graying love
of two graying souls:
a wildfire
—
the forest is a beauty of its own. however, like all things, beauty does not last, although the very concept remains. it resides within our hearts. it is sweet, yes, which is why we choose to linger to it when in reality such beauty simply does not exist. in this poem, a family is illustrated. grim it seems to some, while the poem actually tells of a still-functioning broken family. not all are raised in a garden full of lilies and magnolias. our roots are deep within the rich-brown soil of a gloomy forest where light seldom shines, but we grow just as beautiful nonetheless.
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 10:16 AM UTC
she touches me and i am lost
in her hair, her mouth,
her eyes, her skin—
she is quicksand, she is oasis.
she speaks to me and i am allured
her voice lily of the valley,
daring tongue soft and subtle
lethal as i drink her in
no longer can i give anyone else
what i so eagerly give to her
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 10:11 AM UTC
you are
the cherry blossom of my days
key lime pie and sunflower
hibiscus and rose petal tea
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 10:03 AM UTC
my lips burn at the taste of your name
my tongue dry, eyes red
i walk along the pavement in search for
the pieces you’ve left behind
with hopes to put them together somehow
they tell me that you’ve moved
a few weeks ago when i was out of town
at first i didn’t believe them
but i realised you had no reason to stay
i guess it’s best for the both of us
to finally move on
but i’m stuck in this very old picture of us
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 10:01 AM UTC
...
Since the day I met you, I have been seeing colours—
Of blue tango, dahlia, bird of paradise,
Persian buttercup, daylily, even hibiscus—
...
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 9:57 AM UTC
I just want a long, tight hug from anyone. I don’t know why it’s so difficult to get one even from my own family. Are they afraid of affection? But they can hug others just fine, so why am I the only exception? Am I missing out on something? I remember crying alone until my sister saw me. I didn’t say anything that day. I went for a hug as soon as I saw her, but I was afraid that she would reject me somehow, like she always did. She didn’t, though, but I could feel that she didn’t know what to do let alone what was going on, so I let go as quickly as I could. I didn’t feel what I was looking for. Not warmth, not welcoming arms, and certainly not a sense of safety, of security. Or even love. It was a terribly difficult night. I cried even harder afterward. Something about being a family fools you into thinking there is affection all the while it doesn’t exist in this reality.
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 9:55 AM UTC
i have been having many dreams lately
the good, the bad, and the *****
lace curtains breezing at the touch of morning air
your face bare, the curly maze of your hair
undoubtedly an invitation for a quiet admiration
your little nose with its bridge slim and high
sits perfectly on your well-sculpted face
if poor apollo sees you,
this, i am sure the world would ignite
sparks seeping into your mortal veins
demeter, she would try to suffocate you
with wild flowers growing inside your lungs
aphrodite shall drown in her very own ichor
and replace poseidon’s kingdom with eternal tears
for she knows she could never overcome your beauty
artemis would fall out of the sky
with poison arrows piercing through her heart
the way your teal dress kisses
every curse of your body reminds me
of the time you angered hera because
zeus could only look at you and nothing else
there was a baleful thunderstorm coming
yet there you slept, safely and soundly
my arms shielding you in case she would come
but hera never dared, threatened by your power
to move the sea if you wish for land
to shatter the earth for fun if you desire
the hearts of olympus you have captured
within your tiny palms and i question:
am i worthy of such greatness?
an empress from a foreign land who speaks
with every word of innocence and affection
Aug 15, 2022
Aug 15, 2022 at 9:53 AM UTC