You only touch me when I’m not looking
Stuck in traffic, my eyes on the road
Or when I pretend to be asleep,
Afraid to breathe, to startle you—
You, like a deer in the headlights;
Me, the driver, blinded by the night
It is strange: the touch, the flinch
In the moment of alert and panic
It felt warm like the blood of the dear
Oozing, reaching the car,
To finally meet the driver
Touching me terrifies you to death
And only in death are you brave enough
To reach for me, embrace me
It’s you who flinch now when I look,
Hand quicker than your thoughts
You didn’t hesitate, and I didn’t ask
Lights off now, I get out of the car
But you have run off to where I cannot see you
Oct 21, 2023
Oct 21, 2023 at 6:40 AM UTC
You only touch me when I’m not looking
Stuck in traffic, my eyes on the road
Or when I pretend to be asleep,
Afraid to breathe, to startle you—
You, like a deer in the headlights;
Me, the driver, blinded by the night
It is strange: the touch, the flinch
In the moment of alert and panic
It felt warm like the blood of the dear
Oozing, reaching the car,
To finally meet the driver
Touching me terrifies you to death
And only in death are you brave enough
To reach for me, embrace me
It’s you who flinch now when I look,
Hand quicker than your thoughts
You didn’t hesitate, and I didn’t ask
Lights off now, I get out of the car
But you have run off to where I cannot see you
Been aching to write something after not having been able to for a while, and so this happened. I miss my mother but she is no longer here. She's alive, just no longer the her that I'd go to for comfort. I can count the times she really embraced me with only one hand, and even that is too much to count with.
21 October 2023
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