i will *****
your love out
like sweet acid
it lies at the bottom of my stomach
and comes up
triggered by memories
by fleeting moments
the salty love of countless men
lying at the pit for ages
the taste of bitter tears
mixing into
a most cruel of cocktails
i will *****
my sins out
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 5:16 PM UTC
Love spat in my face
Stomped me under his foot
Put me in my place
Stole away my youth
Love wore an angry mask
Laughed me to scorn
Took me to task
Kept me forlorn
Love robbed my innocence
Made my fire quench
Crushed my very essence
Made me a stench
Then, I really met Love
Who was good and true
He wore no masks
And didn't look like you
Then I knew!
It wasn't Love
Who hurt me bad
It wasn't Love
Who made me sad
**It wasn't Love
It was you.**
May 1, 2016
May 1, 2016 at 10:24 AM UTC
I have this voice inside of me which drives me to despair;
Even after every effort made — it still berates beyond repair.
I have this voice inside of me, it screams, it kicks, it yells;
Even as I lay in perfect silence, it commands from tortured hells.
I have this voice inside of me, it has multiplied beyond belief;
I see it lies in all I’ve met — proceeds in everyone — without relief.
I have this voice inside of me, one which came from you;
All the lies you ever told me — they grew, they grew, they grew...
I have a mind inside of me, it haunts me through and through;
If I should ever die by my own hand, it spoke to me, through you.
...
I know of parts inside of me, at first I couldn’t distinguish the two;
One from me and one from you, one was false and another, true.
...
Another part inside of me, seeks to end your reign;
Perhaps by then, I will be governed by silence, perhaps by then, it won’t have to be feigned.
Another part inside of me, pleads for a higher path,
It pleads for me to surface, all in the wake of your aftermath.
...
I feel a beating within me, which yearns to live and grow,
Even in the screams and contractions, a substance beneath me flows.
Apr 21, 2016
Apr 21, 2016 at 9:15 AM UTC
it would be so easy
if only i hated you
if only i despised the way you
hit me so hard
if only i was disgusted by
how you enjoy my pain
instead of craving your touch
and reaching out for that love
that i'll never find
instead of being happy
whenever you decide to
deem me worthy of being tortured
instead of forgiving
everything and anything
but that's why you're still here
cause you'll always be gold for me
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 11, 2016 at 11:23 AM UTC
sometimes when i do my hair
hairspray in hand
i think about how easy it would be
to flick a lighter
and set myself on fire
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 3:29 PM UTC
I believed every word and emotion,
you must of used a potion,
I don't believe anyone!
But somehow you won,
I was played like an instrument, inanimate and serving you.
You just said the word and I was a slave,
I thought it was for love and I was brave,
I thought it would be something I crave,
even if at the start I saw you give me a goodbye wave.
It's all fine now that I'm numb and dumb forever...
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 9:17 AM UTC
On my pale white skin
Resides the colors black and blue
Those are the colors of your feelings
They're telling me, I love you
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 6:38 PM UTC
*I am not a person, I prefer to be called a toy
Made for your entertainment, for any girl or boy
It's okay if you break me. Trust me, I've been through worst
And if you end up leaving me, well this wouldn't be my first
So go ahead and shatter me or ***** me over twice
If you can just then **** me, now that'll be freaking nice*
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 6:30 PM UTC
destroy me, push me down, hurt me
kick me, kick me until i go numb
make me cry with your words, don't show mercy, lash at me
hit me straight on my face, hit again on the other cheek, hit so hard that my brains tremble
tell me how useless i am, tell me how stupid i am, tell me how much more insignificant i am
don't let me sleep, don't let me be, don't let me do anything
**** me slowly with your cruelty, torture the life out of me with your abuse
comment on everything i do and all my faults and get mad at me every time i do something wrong
always remind me of who i am and what my place is, but don't remember my identity, instead shred it into bits and throw it away, so that i will be nothing but your toy
make hearing my name only a reminder that i'll never hear it the same way again
make my name a symbol for a blind dog that is beaten even after it stops whimpering
don't warn me, punish me straightaway, do whatever you want to me without asking
tie me to the wall with chains and make me perform tricks like a dog
because i am your pet
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 6:21 PM UTC
your sweet face
starvation
your white fingers
desperation
my filthy head
sensations
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 5:48 PM UTC