I dont know who I am
Or where Im going
And this is such a tight jam
I havent tried escaping
But as far as they can see
I got it figured out
And I know how
To go about this
All this change
I used to have a light of guidance
To help me move forward
That light has been lost
Just like me
I have hope that the answers will come to mo
I have fear to search for them
I shall only glance over
But not go digging
What if my next move destroys me
What if I never make a move again
I look to my left and I see
What my old self would do
I look to my right and I see
Impulsive decision making
I am not the old me
But I havent made a new me
When I look forward
Ahead
Where the future lies
I see nothing
Something is in the way
Could it just be me
The world
My emotions
Thoughts
I still have nothing figured out
No plans
No ideas
Just patience
And curiosity
No clear vision
No direction
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 11, 2015 at 6:16 PM UTC
I said I can do it
I was on a four month roll
I had it all
Then I joined the old group
And they had what I was deprived of
I thought I liked being away from it
But once I smelt it
I was back to it
Wanting it
Loving it
Inhale, exhale
Uphill, next hill
Pocket dragon me, blazer.
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 4:57 AM UTC
She acts like my friend
Until I mess up
Which is completely normal
I mess up sometimes
She doesn't get it
She overreacts
Doesn't talk to me
Doesn't want to work it out
Shes ruthless
Tries to keep me from happiness
Which is him
And them
And that
Shes wise
But not understanding
Shes nice
But not concerned
Shes funny
But doesn't joke around
Shes great
But believes that too much
Shes above
But not as much as she thinks
Shes amazing
But is shocking in all ways
Shes my mother
But she didn't choose me
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 4:51 AM UTC
I see greatness in him
I can imagine him moving mountains
Saving lives with his smile
He has power over me
At any point he could completely destroy me
I would be dead inside without him
Hes just what I need
All I need
All I have
It scares me
To think of all the possibilities
Good and bad
Change just isn't my thing
I miss him all day long
Every little thing reminds me of him
Every cute scene in a movie
Every couple I see
Ive never felt this way before
And I don't mind
Because I know that if I fall
He will be there to catch me
And lift me up as high as I can go
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 4:47 AM UTC
My mind is blank of things to type on this screen
I have no inspiration
No rhythm
I haven't lost it all
Not quite yet
Its just drifting
And its time to go searching
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 4:42 AM UTC
I cuddle with it anytime I'm in my bed
You've had it since you were young
I really liked that thing that you said
About how you want it to give me hope
It feels good whenever I wear it
About myself and my future too
Its baggy but it kinda fits
Where did you go in this shirt- and what did you do?
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 2:22 PM UTC
I am not alone.
but I am sitting here with no company to keep
and so I feel lonely
I am not ugly.
but still I stare at this reflection as if it will change
and so I don't feel all that pretty
I am not stupid.
but here I am questioning what the hell is wrong with me
and so I feel inferior
I am not crazy.
but here I am.
and again.
I am questioning everything that is me
from the fabric I am wearing to the very fabric of my being
I am laying powder and sprouting mountains
I am surrounding myself with negativity
and somehow I am feeling so alive when I know I shouldn't be
I am not happy.
and I can say everything that I am not
but I can not figure out what I am feeling
I am not okay.
But my heart is beating
and so I keep trying
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 2:14 PM UTC
Through all the madness around me
You've been my constant, my happiness
I need you |
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 2:12 PM UTC
I've been questioning
Our love
I've lost what it means
I want to find the source
But you messed up
And I get it
Its hard to wait
But aren't I worth waiting for
Its a selfish thing
To break someone's heart
To scar them
And ruin their future in a way
By making them fearful
Of the fall
Because the crash they've had
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 2:10 PM UTC
A child screamed
for his mother
to come rescue him
from the torments
of a caterpillar.
A lawyer ached
at the loss
of his beloved,
his beautiful
Tiger lillies.
A father struggled
to convince
his son against
stealing the wrong
girl's heart.
A businessman sold
out of the life
he built
and slaved over
for a rush.
A husband looked
at his wife
and smiled
at her cheeks
and the bruises
he put on them.
A drug addict attacked
and begged
his parents
for something
to eat.
The other day
I saw an old man
no longer crying
over bugs
or caring much
for flowers.
The other day
someone traded
their love
and their blood
for a needle
and a spoon.
The other day
I buried
my father
and cursed
his name.
My name.
❦
Jul 12, 2015
Jul 12, 2015 at 1:56 PM UTC