Having a friendship with you was emotionally taxing. Some days you were awesome and on most,you were shitty. I'd wake up not knowing which you I'd get that day. You have messed me up more than anyone else,and what made it worse was you never even noticed . You might disagree but,when someone tells you you've hurt them,you dont get to justify it or decide that you didn't.
It was rainbows and butterflies and shii in the beginning but as time went on,it got real. You weren't there when my whole life was falling apart,on days I woke up hoping to die. You were never that friend I could rely on for emotional support..I'm just gonna assume it's because you're such a happy person so you have no patience for such?Don't know but ya.
I told you our friendship was slowly dying but you refused to believe it. While you were busy with your awesome life,I was learning how to not be so reliant on you,how to go back to life without you,how to fall out of love with you (because i never really got over you) but anyway,I'm over all that. All the effort I put into our friendship, I'm gonna put into myself.
Oh and,nice move not putting up a fight,how easily you let me go shows me how much I meant to you. Anyway ,bye.
Nov 15, 2020
Nov 15, 2020 at 2:23 PM UTC
These couple weeks, I haven't felt the same. I don't wanna cry for help, but I'm getting tired of pretending so well. I thought I was going steady. But my mind got the best of me. I don't know why I'm still here, honestly.
If you took a peek inside of my brain you'd find the reasons for all of the blame. Constantly drowning :)
But I'm getting tired and I'm not so well. I guess I'm unsteady because you got the best of me. I hope one day I'll be fine honestly.
Sep 1, 2020
Sep 1, 2020 at 8:35 PM UTC
This isn't easy. I don't know how and what to feel. My mind is a fire and I'm burning love away. It's getting harder to feel. They don't know how it feels to be broken. I can't help it. I feel numb. I'll wait for the waves to leave. I think I'm breaking, I'm a mess in the making. I'm getting tired of the same old feeling in my chest. I'm not a liar, but I've got secrets I can't confess. Don't say you love me, because I don't understand those words. I'm holding on a tightrope. You know I'm not coming home.
Sep 1, 2020
Sep 1, 2020 at 8:26 PM UTC
I’m not ashamed to say it or admit it.
I’m an addict,
But an addict in a special way.
You see my one desire, craving is you.
I’m an addict and my one drug desire is you.
Sometime I find myself willing to do anything
That’s just a piece of you.
When you’re near I enjoy the time.
I realize I need you more than ever.
I’m out of control and all I want is to love you.
I need and want only you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jun 3, 2020
Jun 3, 2020 at 12:59 AM UTC
May there be no future for us,
No happily ever after.
Mar 2, 2020
Mar 2, 2020 at 6:20 PM UTC
I can't explain to you my jealousy
of watching people laugh in a group
such genuine laugher i could cry
I can't remember having a purpose
of getting out of bed
to not cancel my plans last minute
This sounds painfully self-wallowing
but this is all I have
Until a better day comes.
I hold onto the darkness
like an old friend
sweet embrace of familiarity.
Feb 27, 2020
Feb 27, 2020 at 10:16 PM UTC
I'm lost.
I'm just so lost
Anxiety kicks in
And I overthink every breath
If my heart sinks to the floor
You'll throw it away, won't you?
Thanks a lot
Boyfriend
Jan 6, 2020
Jan 6, 2020 at 10:13 AM UTC
Cold hands are yours
Nurture a dying thing called body
Jan 3, 2020
Jan 3, 2020 at 1:07 PM UTC