i am an endless emptiness,
with the shape of a soul.
while dreaming of the vision that I want to have,
it might just drag me down.
i exist, but i don't exist.
i shake up my dreams with pleasure and anger,
while ignoring the fear feeling.
as if I'm an empty star shining with a hole,
floating and disappearing through the emptiness.
like the moonlight that shines through my eyes,
I always mistaken it as my saviour.
they always say "be it or be not",
like it's a sign of a farewell or welcoming.
I should've known from the beginning,
that life is a land with no sea, and is a sea with no land.
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 3:52 PM UTC
my emotions are always gone too quickly,
contemplating whether it's for the sake of love hidden inside me.
I'm the person always longing for its wings,
even though I'm broken through all lies and hatred.
who am I to fly, when I can't even run?
my life is burning,
and the smoke is taking me away.
disappearing me beneath my eyelids.
I wonder if life can be gentle just for once.
the rope that was everything,
I should just forget it,
maybe I could step back and think a little.
just like the orange sky fading away,
I break everything every day.
like the gentle touch that I have always longed,
it broke me, rather than completing me.
I hate it, I ******* hate it.
how long will this go on?
I can't take anymore days,
maybe I should just shine as bright as the moon.
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 3:44 PM UTC
she was reticent, but never refused her vulnerability.
she's often complained for her uncontrolled emotions, so she learned how to keep them zipped.
mostly, they'll say her favorite color was purple—but the little in her would've probably adored pink the most.
she learned by herself, but most of the time—she lacked. maybe it was confusion, or maybe most of the time she only had herself to teach.
her walls are built with pride. nobody has ever been inside those walls.
as time passes by, it's height just grew taller.
an enigmatic person she is.
a secretly ****** one. yet—she looks innocent with those eyes. just a glimpse under those smiles.
some often say her eyes are just like a puppy. soft and glossy.
thus, if you'll look at her eyes just a little bit longer—you'll see the shadow that hides.
she doesn't even like people, but she's too softhearted. often way too quiet, and doesn't even laugh easily.
her lips are said to be strawberry flavored. glimmering with her eyes is her hair that dances.
she's too soft, too quiet. but once touch with anger—she burns.
And so, I was said I had the patience, cause I've learned. to be the one who hides. always acting confused, but knows too well. I rather be misread, than show my burning heart. I wouldn't be too miss too, even if I fall apart.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 11:45 AM UTC
i have no apologies to say nor forgiveness to give.
i own my own world around me as if I'm the only soul that has an existence.
altogether with guilt and resentment.
i have aged with a bruise in my heart—but I'm still contaminated with love.
from sickness of words,
this eyes on me are still intact as if it didn't cried blood.
the violence that shouted in a specialized language,
i would be it's irretrievable target.
it's not the hands that choked me, it's the words that turned my world upside down.
i have been sick of accepting and expecting,
the world in my mind is completely different from what I have in reality.
i could be pure in a minute,
but then I'll turn around and won't look back.
the little in me thinks she's too big to handle,
that's why she changed her belief in what it is supposed to be.
i do not know—if it's my mind that ***** me up, or if it's my ****** words that shuts me up.
nevertheless, I don't even understand myself in a language that I speak.
i don't know why I keep craving for tenderness, when all my life I've only seen the insanity.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 11:43 AM UTC
Umasa ako, naghintay sa alam kong hindi na babalik,
'Yung mainit na pagbabalik kagaya ng iyong mga halik.
Lumipas pa ang panahon na kahit tawagin na lang na muntik,
Ngunit hindi, ika'y hindi na bumalik.
Sana man lang ay nag paalam at pinaalam,
Nang sagayon ang paglisan ay nadamdam.
Hindi ko naman minadali, hindi ko naman pinilit,
Kaso lumisan ka ng unti-unti, at sadyang pinunit ang puso kong galit.
Pinilit kong tanggapin,
Ang sakit na aking kinikimkim.
Nagsulat na para lang ba sa hangin,
Sa sobrang balewala'y, ito'y lumubog na sa buhangin.
Parang bang habang buhay akong naghintay,
Sa mga salita **** wala namang saysay.
Naiwan na lang akong tulala,
Habang ika'y nawawala.
Tuluyang bang ika'y ipagpapalaya?
O wag na lang kaya?
Hiniling ko, mununi ko,
Ngunit hindi pa pala sapat—kaya sumuko na ako.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 11:38 AM UTC
ngunit nagsinungaling ako,
dahil hindi naman na makabago sa akin ang pagtrato ng karamihan.
ang mga tila inosenteng galawan ay kasing sakit ng isang saksak sa dibdib.
kitang-kita, ngunit hindi man lang mabasa.
lagi na lang ako ang bumibigay,
lagi na lang ako ang walang kibo.
hindi ko rin naman maintindihan ang sarili ko,
at mas lalong hindi ko naiitindihan kung bakit sobrang dali na tratuhin ako na parang hindi kasing-uri.
ako na lang ba palagi ang mag papasensya?
hindi naman talaga ako tahimik,
napagod lang akong magsalita.
paulit-ulit, wala rin namang kasing nakikinig.
marami nang nakatanim,
maraming bagay ang aking kinikimkim.
pero hindi ko kinikibo ito,
nabaon na rin naman na ang mga ito sa dami.
nakasanayan ko na lang dalhin,
dahil mas madali pala ito kaysa sa maghintay ng sasalo.
kahit sobrang bigat, hindi na ako umaasa.
mas natutunan ko na lang ibalewala, ipalawang-bahala,
wala rin namang nag tatanong kung kaya ko pa.
mas madali na lang ngumiti, itawa,
kahit bigo ito sa kinalolooban ko.
matagal ko naman ng alam, matagal ko ng tanggap,
na wala naman talagang makikinig, wala naman talagang makakapansin—kundi ang sarili ko lamang.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 11:37 AM UTC
That one bright smile,
That gives me hope in the night.
My dear source of light,
I love you with all my might.
In my own world you came,
But I can not help but blame,
To the cupid,
cause it was ready to aim.
Because of your existence,
I was ready to experience.
Experience that type of love and care,
That people will say, "That's not fair!"
My world felt like hell,
But I laughed for the first time in a while, thanks to you.
For your existence, the world is bright,
You make me shine because you were my light.
Aug 30, 2024
Aug 30, 2024 at 10:59 AM UTC
You left in silence, without nothing to say,
You made me feel lonely in the whole day.
Was it a promise I failed to do,
Or something that I failed to pursue?
You just hush a goodbye,
But did you ever think to clarify?
Leaving me confused,
And leaving my heart bruised.
If there's something to say, can you say it?
And if so, then I can fix it.
Was I, a burden to bear,
Or a person that's too hard to care?
You left like a fading flower,
In nights that are my lonely hour.
And even though I didn't want to follow this trail,
I'll follow it because, I want you to stay.
Aug 30, 2024
Aug 30, 2024 at 10:58 AM UTC
Hold me like you know I deserve to be loved,
And make me realize im your best-loved.
Wrap me up inside your heart,
And we can light up this dark.
Kiss me, and make me feel like I'm your only,
Like no one in the world exists, and we can enjoy this time slowly.
Let our lips touch like stars,
And so it can heal our scars.
Love me, because our time now is timeless,
In a world that's just us, everything is priceless.
Make me wonder what part of you did I love the best,
And I'll answer: I loved them all the brightest.
Aug 30, 2024
Aug 30, 2024 at 10:57 AM UTC
"And after all, I was just a fallen angel."
Words that gets through me,
With a dream where I went through it.
Dying as I write this poem, feeling as being swollen.
Everything was all just a test,
When I just needed a rest.
"How can a beautiful soul become a fallen angel?"
I know too much, for I have sinned.
My body is destroyed, yet my soul is still standing.
Despite being considered perfect,
I was lucifer, the fallen angel, rebelled against my own blessed.
Why are so many are startled by my drastic shift?
They say I turned into a horrible monster,
When I was once called the most beautiful angel.
Don't be too shock,
The Devil has many faces.
Aug 30, 2024
Aug 30, 2024 at 10:56 AM UTC