One lonely night
Unable to sleep
Thoughts taking over
Exploding my brain
I wrote a poem for the first time
For me

One lonely night
When I discovered what writing did to me
Didn't sleep a wink
I just wrote and wrote
A sewer to the anxiety flooding me

One lonely night
I wanted to feel less alone

One lonely night
I wanted to read a poem
From the average person
Like me
Just trying to make though it each day

One lonely night
I came across Hello Poetry
And for fun
I submitted a poem
Not knowing
How this website would change me

Life is like candy
You first must open the wrapper
Then get the sweets inside
And when it's all over
All the different layers and phases
You die
Most people get stuck on step 1
And unfortunately then skip to 3
But to get number two
You have to be more than lucky

I do not exist
Everyone thinks I do
But I don't

I am an idea
A *****
I am a construct
(That you people are dependent on)

I am an imaginary, non-physical, number on a screen
I am a piece of paper
A card
A circular piece of copper
That is often the determining factor
Between life and death;
Survival in this cruel world

There are ones with much of me
And lucky ones they are
They have access to services
And being treated with the common needs that should come with being here
And being alive

And there are some that are unlucky
And lack me
They live hard lives working and tiring
Even though I don't exist
Who will tell them
That this should be pointless?

I can be stolen
Inherited
Hoarded
And broken

I am manipulated like a game
No one enjoys to play me

I'm supposed to measure
What someone's labor is worth
But I don't

Factors slip by me
Such as garbage men
Almost the same as doctors
Being needed in society

I breed selfishness
And greed
There are so many families I do not feed

I make you feel trapped and worthless
I am cause for death
I should be abolished

What am I?

I asked
I spoke
I cried
I got help

I guess not everyone ***** after all

There's a kangaroo in your closet!

What?

There's a kangaroo in your closet!

No...there isn't

It is, trust me it's there!

I know what's in my closet, what you're doing isn't fair

He's crying out for help, he's there, he's there!

I will not doubt myself
I saw there was nothing to be seen

But please...

Why do you care?

Because I made a mess in there...

I see
Please go far far away from me

Cars
Are
Where
All
The
Bad
Things
Are
Brought
To
Light

Always
So­mething
Life-changing
To say

Always
End
Up
Crying

I
Fear
Stepping
Into
Cars
Now

I
Can't­
Leave
Them

They see his glasses
But they can't see how truly
Awfully blind he is

Why are we the way we are?
Fighting eachother
When we're all the same

We should be one
No more blame
War
Unnecessary hate
Or fame
We are all humans
Just people
And we will all die one day

We need conflict
But our brains do that for us
Why do we need to do it for each other?

We should be together
Fighting the internal monsters
Not judging if they have four eyes or green scales

We should be together
In our anger
And our confusion

We should be together
In our complexities
And beautiful strangeness

We should be together
Even when we don't like everyone
Because that's normal
While staying kind

We should be together

When I go to the airport
I always wear a funny shirt
Because waiting in line is so dull
And I want to make someone smile
Maybe get a laugh
Maybe make a friend
Maybe make a day

I remember
Standing outside in the cold
I was only nine years old
But even then
I knew I shouldn’t go inside

Without a coat
In my new little dress
And flat little dress shoes
That I wore to a choir concert

My mom couldn’t make it
She was working
So it was just him

He didn’t watch it
Or tell me I was good after
In fact
I somehow made him mad

I didn’t want to get in the car
On the way back
I knew when he was angry
We shouldn’t be driving
But there was a loudness in his eyes
It was scary
And I could not ignore it
It told me I had no choice but to get in

He was
Reckless
Missing turns
Short stops
Yelling at drivers
Especially if they have white cars
Because as he says
“Anyone with a white car is an idiot”
Because that makes sense?

What was supposed to be a 10 minute drive
But it became at least 30 minutes

So when we got back
I decided to stay outside

I paced back and forth
Wanting it be warm
And to feel safe

Even then I knew
That is was best to stay away

No one listened to her
When it was her turn to talk
So I look her in the eyes and say
"I'm listening"
And I wasn't kidding

One of the best feelings ever
Is when I finally
Get to be alone
And feel the relief of removing the mask
Of a normal, calm person

I can let out the breath
I didn't even know I was holding
And I can finally be
The weird specimen
That is me

I would climb mountains
Hijack cars
Walk 26 days
And almost die
If that meant I could hug you
Even one time

It's okay
Its okay
It's okay
It's okay
It's okay
You're okay
You're okay
Everything will be okay
Okay?
You're okay
It's okay
It's okay
It's okay
Breathe and everything will be okay


I feel like I'll never be okay...

Yesterday
I started the year
Walking

It was cold
Dark
Smelled of fireworks

When I walked
I thought about the terrible year
And all that it carried inside

I thought about the day of the divorce
The day with my dad in Tel-Aviv
The night I panicked so much
That I almost needed to go to the hospital
And all the times I told my cousins stories
While I put them to sleep

I thought about all of the terrible moments
And then I thought
...

It's over

I shout it silently
Jumping around and crying
Smile on my face

I did it
I survived all of it!
I am still alive!
I am fine!

Proud.

Then I think of death
And how this must be how it feels
Except not needing to go back
Not knowing what else
Is going to need to be endured

But at that moment
Though crying
And remembering all the terrible things
I  liked 2025

Life is a mess
That sometimes can't be cleaned

People can be soap
Or a rag
Or a towel
You wipe up life with them
And it helps a bit

Unfortunately
Some of them were *****
And spread it all over
Instead of cleaning it up
Like they said they would

Day after day
Alone on a hill
The girl with the fake smile
Is keeping perfectly still

But nobody wants to know her
They can see she's weird

And no matter how hard she tries
She can't be the way they are

But the girl with the fake smile
Sees the tear a boy in math tries to hide because
"Boys don't cry"

And what looks like a stare into space by that person who sits in the back
But what she knows is just her reliving something bad

But day after day
On that hill where she watches
The girl with the fake smile
Waits for someone else to see
That the hill she's on all alone
Is one of misery

He ran into the street
The light was red
He made a car swerve

"You could die"
I scream at him from the sidewalk;
Eyes red and full of tears

"I want to,
And you want me to
So it wouldn't be that bad!"
He screams back
I just suggested upping the phone volume...

Everything is loud and out of control
Sounds of city surrounding me

So I just stand there
11 years old and alone
I don't know what to say
So I say nothing at all

He makes it to the other side
I don't know how to feel
He feels far away yet still too close
And I know I'll have to go closer

Let me present to you
The beginning of my birthday evening

Are you familiar
With the story of Sisyphus?

Do you ever feel
Like you are pushing the rock up the hill
A rock filled with desire
The weight of the world
Waiting for it to finally reach the top
So it can be taken care of?

Are you too
Pushing
And pushing
And almost giving up?

When you get to the top
Does it fall back down
                       Every
               Single
         Time
Too?

Does is sadden you
To know that he never succeeds
Even at the end of the story?

Well I made up a new one for you:

Climbing
Climbing
Whole body sore

Trying
Trying
He doesn't want to try anymore

Day
After day
The story seems miserable
Until one

This day
Susyphus climbed
And pushed
And climbed
And pushed
And remembered how all the other days
It was to no avail

"I'm done!"
He thought

He was ready to stop pushing the rock
And let it fall on him
Crushing his body
Ending his heartbreak
But he didn't

He thought what if
That maybe that day
He would finally make it

So he pushed
And when he was at the most pain he had ever felt before
Made it to the top
He felt it would fall
Like any other day
But he saw a hand reach out
Helping him with his rock
And voice coming his way
Saying comforting words
Encouraging him

And what happened to the rock you may ask?
Well...



It stayed

One day it will appear again
Life will build up
But he succeeded
And he deserves his momentary happiness

Isn't it strange
How we are all living on a random sphere
In the middle of a nothingness
Thats also everythingness
and has trillions of other giant yet tiny spheres too?

We laughed
Until we couldn't breathe
Not even knowing
What in the world
Was so funny
It was wonderful

They're your friends
Until you need them
They want to make a meense
But not admit they are wrong
They'll help you
Until you need help
They claim they're all equal
But they discriminate
They say that they’re fine
But they are far from it
They can love you
But still hurt you
They can earn your trust
Just to steal from you
They can say that they discipline you
When they are harming you
They can say that they love themselves
When the love pours down their arms
They can look confident
But cry at their reflection
They can be your friend
And lie to you
They can claim they want peace
But start to **** one another
They can try to help each other
But hurt each other in the end

They are terrible
beautiful
confusing
complex
Loving
and hating

They are people

It doesn't matter
How deep the water is if
You're drowning in it

Why have fireworks
When you can see the stars?
They by themselves have so much light

Why have fireworks?
All I could see in the sky on new years
Was gray

Stars are out of our control
Something us humans haven't yet touched
They are beautiful
And far away
And we get to see them
That is something to celebrate

Why have fireworks
Man-made
And loud
Things to blow up

When you could see the stars instead?

My mom
Is music
watching Gilmore girls with takeout thai food
and comfort

My Dad
Is loudness
Uncontrollable anger
And reluctant love

My cat
Is laying in bed with me when I cry
Stealing my food
And making me laugh even when I don't want to

My friends
Are eating orange peels
Singing let it go as loud as we can at 2am
And walking at 11pm to Walgreens

My extended family
Is 13 hour plane rides
Friday night dinners
And having ice cream on the balcony

Whenever I remember
I look up at the sky
And remind myself that the stars are there
Even in daylight
So there's no need to cry

I like to believe
That even the loneliest and least understood people
Have a star in the sky
That listens as much as you need
Gets you
And loves you

This star
Is just yours

Since you're basically one
When you hug yourself
It's like the star is hugging you
Wrapping it's brightness so tight
The darkness barely even leaks out

When the world *****
When you die
When you change
And when you cry
The star cares for you

Even in daylight
It's hiding there

Even when the star sees all the you do from up above
It loves you
And tries to help you
You just have to listen to the silence
And you maybe
Just maybe
Won't feel so alone anymore

You ring in my ear and my mind
You were too loud
And I was forced to be around you too long

           "S

                             h
    r
                   e
   e
             e
                       e
              e
                      e
      k"

You go In your haunting voice with your haunting actions
Yet another thing if yours
With a result that makes me feel bad

She said in the video
"I know you'll go through with it
Because that way
When you look at this video in the future
you can say that at the very least"

"I'm sorry"
I respond

It wasn't fun anymore
Just hard
It was no longer my dream

I didn't stay on the travel team

I'm sorry
Dear child

I'm sorry
I couldn't breathe
Anymore

"I didn't keep going with it"
My heart hurts saying that to her
Looking in her eyes
Makes me want to cry

"I'm sorry"

It's hard to believe
That such a strong person
Is starting to deteriorate

They say that she's okay
She says that she's okay
Because it's too scary for her not to be

The short
Strong
Curly-haired
feminist
Who loves
And cares

She's my mother's mother

She can't stop existing
She can't leave
And the earth can't keep spinning if she does

It pains me
Hurts me
To think of her last breath

The person
Who once held me
Outside in backyard
And sang to the night sky with me

The person
Who raised my mother

The person
Who was once a little girl
With dreams and hopes

She can't leave...

I wish all the people I see on this site
Would be here
Because they are so much kinder than the average person
And if we would talk in real life
We wouldn't only say silly jokes
But have deep conversations

I want to hug my younger self
And I also know I will when I'm older
So I hug myself now
And say it's from the future

I am not ambidextrous
I am anti-dextrous
Neither of my hands can do anything good

I am not golden brained
I am blue brained
Neither side can tell what it's going to be with you
Mania?
Depression?
Anger?
Who knew?!?

I am not ambipedal
I am anti-pedal
Neither of my feet can run away in time

Bright and beautiful
With daisies in her golden flowy hair
The sun rises each morning
Bringing light, warmth, and comfort
to all the people
As long as they don't look right at her

If they look at her directly
Their eyes burn
Because they see that she is burning

She quite literally spreads her sunshine
She doesn't have much left for herself sometimes
So every night she lets her lover
Take a turn in the sky

Shiny and beautiful
The light in the dark
The moon crosses the sun
To take over the night

They share a quick kiss
And the sky fills with color
Stunning
But doesn't last forever
They wish they could see each other longer
But they have matters to take care of
The moon now owns the night

But the sun isn't the only one
Who brings comfort;
the moon is often the only one there
For the terrified and sad
The creative and restless

The dreamers are awake.

The moon is there
Constantly changing
But there
A reminder that things don't ever stay the same

But eventually
The moon wishes to see their love;
The bright and beautiful
Even if it's shortlived

Sunrise lights up the sky
And the sun is ready to shine once more

There are so many people in this world
That feel lonely
And most of the time
We tend to get along
There are so many of us
And yet
Here we are
Alone
Wishing for someone to care
To ask us questions
And wanting to be the one asking

There are so many of us
But we can't seem to find eachother
So here we are
Lonely

I wake up in the morning
I go downstairs
I wonder
Why is no one there?
I check every room
Call out my mother's name
Only to find out it was in vain
I put on my shoes and run outside
The streets are empty
There is no one to find
At first I go back home
And I start to cry
I can't even find my dog
She's my comfort in hard times

Soon
I realize
I can do anything now
Still a melancholy day
I cry and cry
But for the first time ever
I also drive
I eat all the sweets I want
And I realize I can fly

I drive
Fly
Eat
And with the the guilt of doing that
I cry

Then I wake up in the morning to my mom telling me to hurry up
I sigh in relief
What a weird dream that was

You can take photos of people
Things
Moments

I wish you could capture feelings too
So I can look at my smiling self
And remember that I I've done it before
So I can do it again
In moments like these
Where I feel that this terrible feeling
Will never end

You’ve probably heard the saying “life is short”
I don't think so
It is the longest thing you will ever
experience
It just passes quickly
If you're lucky enough
Life is
Sad
Happy
And long
I just hope mine is all of those

I breathe anxiety
I cry panic
And I carry bombs just waiting to burst all of it out

I look around the full gym
Full of souls
Hundreds and hundreds of them
Sitting on bleachers

And I remember something crazy
I don't know **** about any of them

Every single one
Has problems
Thoughts
Feelings
Beliefs
And a life
And I don't know it

I wonder how many people's parents
Provided them with trauma
And how many provided them with care and love

I decided that I didn't like most of them
When I only saw their outside
I only  saw their carefully sculpted masks

How dare I?

"Forgive and forget"
They say

But I will not forget
Not because I want to remember
But because otherwise
I would get hurt over and over again
Like a moth going to a lamp
Bumping into it expecting the sun
But only being greeted
with a hard slap of glass
Over and over again

"Forgive and forget"
They say

I will try to forgive
Not because what was done was forgiveable
But because otherwise
The hurt and anger would be like rocks I had to carry in my heart constantly
I didn't even have a bag
My arms got tired
And sometimes they would all fall

"Forgive and forget"
They say

They don't understand

She looks at her from a distance
With admiration and envy
For she's beautiful
She wonders why she couldn't be

That girl being watched
Looks at her
And thanks how she would do anything
To look that way
For she thinks that she is this sicking word;
Ugly

I thought I'd never do it
That I was the only one in the universe like me
By I think I've finally found my tribe
And I think I've finally found my reason to keep going

I stood up from my chair in class
With anger and passion and pain in my eyes and my soul waiting to be let out and to be freed
To be seen
And heard
For ideas
For minds to be change
I stood up from my chair in English class
And I spoke from my soul

I said what wasn't fair
That we are so molded by our surroundings
That we should reform so much
That our minds are being filled with unnecessary knowledge and unbearable pain everyday
That we are looked down upon
That we are treated as possessions
But that we alive
All of us

I spoke of the fisher
Who killed the fish
So it would float and follow the stream
And of monsters in our minds that our peers are luring out every day

And the kids laughed
And I think I saw a tear in one eye
But I also heard the sounds of clapping hands from most

And my teacher simply said
"Liana, I can't do much and I know that
Buy I thank you
For trying to change the world"

I smiled

And after years of abuse
I'm still the one ending up feeling guilty
And wondering if he was right
And this was all just in my head

As you close your eyes
And slow your breathing
I long to finally be let free
More and more

I am desperate
I just want to sing and to scream
To escape the pressure
And to be something other than a darkness following you around constantly

Finally, you are taken over by sleep
And I am released
I can do anything
But as soon as I leave
I hear your silent screams

“Help me!” You try
Eyes closed
Heart open and out on your sleeve
Helpless
In danger
Without my protection

I don’t get very far
Only have a few seconds of being separate
Being myself
And just myself
But soon enough
You need me
And I can’t ignore your plea

So instead of roaming and screaming and exploring the world
I cover you
Everywhere
And keep the monsters away
All night

Yiu never know I’m there
Or appreciate me
I am your shadow
Just darkness in light
Just a blank figure of you

I just want to be me
Even if it’s just while your asleep

Being your kid
Is like being in the deep end of the pool
With no swimming knowledge
And just the hope you'll hold me up

And you do
Sometimes
But then you push me under
I can't breathe
And whe world gets all fuzzy

Just when I think it's over
And I've decided that you're bad
You pull me up for a breath
And I hope you let me stay that way
But before I finish that thought
My mouth is full of poisonous water again

What if I would rather
You just let me sink?