i regret to inform you
that i am very aware of
my existence

i'm scared
that
i'm not worthy of love

you make me want to be a better person

validation
is
not
love.

i really need to stop
comparing myself to you
and stop trying to prove my worth

i deserve this.

i don't know who i'm talking to anymore
when i say a silent prayer.
are you even there?

- a fallen Catholic

sometimes i wish you had left.
much cleaner and more efficient

i don't need endless miles
of jagged cuts
and the flames of your tongue
licking them open.

i wish i had
the comfort of an imaginary father
so i could pretend he wasn't who you are now.

you're here, i suppose
and there's no denying that.