i don't like the blatant disregard
you have for other people's time
or how you seem to think
the world caters to you
you think you're always right
and the world is a bad place

i don't like
that i learned to be someone
by becoming the opposite of who you are.

you're my father
and i'm your daughter

but i'm not you.

i grew up with you
i've learned your ins and outs
you're familiar.

nothing, i guess.

how do i express the fact
that i see no value
in my existence

and that i struggle
to believe in a god
because
why would anything
ever choose to bless
someone like me.

i don't like the dependence
that's grown on me
like ivy on brick.

i don't like that i worry
when you don't text me.

i don't like
that i care.

i ran to you
in hopes that you would
draw me into your arms
but i knocked
and nobody was home.

i'm feeling bad