my fingers snubbed out
the last of the lights in the room and
we sat there in total darkness
waiting for death but he never
came no matter how much we
begged him to.

when they pulled out your body, you were almost unrecognizable.

soft, peach-colored skin i used to kiss had peeled off into a blueish-grey.

your body, bloated, from the time you spent under.

oh i wonder what you were thinking during your very last moments here.

the police tell me the water removed all traces of evidence.

i'm so sorry that the last time i saw you alive, i told you to leave.

and you did.

and i wish you'd stop coming to breakfast
with two black eyes and a dry
tongue unable to create words
behind your tired lips because
you were up all night screaming
at the "mud" dripping down your walls
and please stop trying to convince me that
there is a creature living under your bed when
from what i can tell, is just in your head.

i also wish you'd stop waking me up at
3 am screaming that the "swamp monster"
touched you and turned your limbs to gangrene
slowly rotting your once-peaceful slumber
to the bone.

i know what keeps you awake at night
half asleep mumbling in the shower
you talk to yourself and i cannot help
but to listen to your empty words as
your tongue stumbles over them.

these words mean nothing and
should just be considered a
blank space in which anyone can put
their deepest thoughts into.

i should've crashed_the car the night_i drove alone_

i feel my presence is much like Gangrene,
i am parasitic,
i am a debilitating disease
in your bones that breaks
them apart and gradually kills
you from the inside
out.