greetings once again
from me to my only friend,
within this card i do send
a note with an amend.
saying the fault was mine,
that i knew you weren't "fine",
and instead letting you cry,
i stayed away to wallow in my own brine.
this is me trying to save,
the friendship that i gave,
to you the street i paved,
for our feelings not to fray.
**to you i know i'm dull,
but i just wish for you to mull
over thoughts inside your skull,
and to sleep our memory will lull.

i come from middle class,
i've been given everything i ever wanted,
my parents love me unconditionally,
they pay a college amount of money for my highschool,
they've supported me throughout my entire life,

and yet:
i cannot get even average grades,
i hate how i look in the nice clothes my mother buys,
i don't eat much of the home cooked meals laid in front of me,
i don't sleep well at night in my warm bed,
i'm still not cured even with medication,
i'm still not cured even with therapy,
i hurt the body my mother gave me,
i break my parents' hearts everyday,
i cannot see the light in life,
and one day i will leave.

no i am not
what my father was/is
and what my mother was/is,
i am not even a combination of
the two,
instead i am alien
to my family tree,
because everyone related
have done well in life.

crooked footsteps
fall and sink
into my mind's
dark abyss,
it is one filled with
cold thoughts that
are constantly choking
but never quite able
to wretch up the
potential of a good
thought.

arise my child,
from your stew,
bubbling and burning
and eating your way
through my stomach's lining.

arise and creep up into
my chest and lungs,
and nest there and
stop my breathing.

slither through my cold veins
and block my heart's valves,
stop my pulse,
i beg you,
i've raised you for
seventeen long years and
the only favor i ask of you now,
is to **** me.