I tried to be stern in all that I did, I had to learn I cannot put a lid on you.
I tried to be meek and kind, but you only thought I was weak and losing my mind, how untrue!
Whether the **** or the softie, I just cant make it work.
Whatever happens, wherever you go, I hope you can forgive me, and we'll both live where the clear waters flow and the plants grow.
I never wanted you to suffer, not the way I suffer, it's a wonder I can't see past my blunders.
I am no less than you, nor do I deem myself better; if we could meet in the middle, I could fulfill what I said in the letter, that
I love you, and my love is to let you go.

I would love to have you
And for you to have me
It'd be nice to hold you
Your eyes pretty like the sea
But I'm afraid to pick you
Worried of getting pricked
Scared of hurting you
I'll leave you be

I dwell in empty graveyards
Where my soul is at rest
Away from all the vanity
I feel a connection with the dead
Where spirits listen
To my voice

I feel their presence
They hear the noise
Of proud human
Laughs and moans
And of feet
Stomping their bones

Haughty eyes
Having fun
Head in the clouds
Like the mid-day sun

And I don't want to hinder their progress
How their hair shines
Their skin is perfect
And their time is now

But if there's someone else out there
With lowly eyes
Wish you were here with me
Don't wanna be alone no more
We can be wise
And go to paradise

A shallow existence is a price to pay
For inviting comfort every day
It tugs me in, the way it pulls
I eat my fill, yet I'm never full
I drink and smoke, and cannot stop
I pray for the day these habits I drop
Yet it's hard when you live on your back
Stuck in a corner like a cornered rat
Fools surround, I cannot teach
A waste of words, their brains don't reach
Speaking only from their point of view
It's an assault on them to speak what's true
Just try to reason or get through
Nothing will stop them looking down on you
Love is patient, love is kind
I hold fast when it's time to unwind
Yet the fear never leaves my mind
Rest is a task and hard to find
Unless I'm doped up
Unless I'm messed up
The dust sets, things start breaking
I can't move with the pills I'm taking
I swallow the pain, I feel so dumb
Despite the taste, it makes me numb
I was the one who couldn't conform
And most of what I say is against the norm

If there's a reason to envy the wicked, it's this
They're well aware life is glorious
Their lives are bliss, no fear instilled
Their cups and bowls are always filled
They get what they want, live by do as thou wilt
They grow old, and die knowing no guilt

I am not like this, terror all around
Deep in my heart, nervous fatigue is found
They lock me up without answering why
They'd shoot me down if I tried to fly
They lean on me, then watch me fall
Before stepping and walking on me in front of all

And so I'm stuck, trapped in fear
While my enemies mock and cheer
As if pain and persecution is a jest
Though my life is gruelling, I can attest
Their hearts are hardened, mine's like clay
I adapt to suffering, they run away

I wanted friends
Instead I got foes
Who in the end
Ushered my woes

Some people at first
Seem kind and respectful
Then they turn for the worst
To duty forgetful

I wanted a family
To feel safe and secure
But now I can see
That nothing is sure

I loiter about
All times of the day
I learned to stay out
Of people's way

I tried sleeping
I slid into bed
Then came creeping
These thoughts in my head

Why don't you call?
I know you are free
I'm not the one to make you fall
Why do you hate me?

Whenever I think of you
Why did you abuse me so?
Now that I see what's true
I will just let go

For I will have new memories
As I live
And I will recall my enemies
And I will forgive

At first glance a dove
Though not love from the start
It took some time
to get the key to my heart

I heard her voice
whispering in my ear today
I turned to the noise
The fly on my shoulder flew away

I can feel her
But we're torn at the seams
I no longer love her
Or see her in my dreams

I put up a wall of darkness
Though every now and again
Light comes through
With anguish and pain

I recall when the demon laughed
And played music only I could hear
I knew it was the forces of hell
Drawing near

I saw an angel
Being treaded under feet
The feet of his own comrades
And the same fate befalls me

My love was too strong
I deserve no applause
I don't expect love
I chose love over God

There's a time to beg and a time to lend
A season for peace and a season for war
No choice but to endure to the end
Who knows what else is in store?

The Lord doesn't teach em
The devil don't attack em
They're walking in sin
With a proud grin

The way it's always been
Wholly untouched
Their folly is much
Their condescendence is such

Mockery and ill will
If they could, they would ****
Now it's my job to put up with them
I'll slice the bud at the stem

If you have a fighting soul
Here's a call
Rock and roll
Destroy them all

Oh forgetfulness!
When I taste of your nectar so sweet
I feel a loving embrace that numbs my anguish
I am afflicted by bruises that never heal
Made victim of people I can't openly accuse
My sober mind has become a den of horror
My loved ones do not feel any sympathy for me
Out in the cold streets is where I belong
Living in a tent surrounded by trees and the elements
For I could not manage my own house
Reality is a blur for the addict
It's hard to tell what's real or imaginary
Small acts of disrespect I blow out of proportion
Small agitations make me inclined to violence
I fear myself more than anything
If I were to be honest with God
I would tell him I am no longer useful
My words slump to the ground
There is no vigour or persuasiveness in them
My relationships have all ended in failure
Too many burned bridges lead to dead ends
I wander aimlessly without direction
Like an abandoned and ***** dog am I
I hope to find any scrap of belonging
People pass me without any knowledge
That I was once a vibrant little boy
Worthy of a bright future but alas!
I am a deeply disturbed man
All these thoughts never leave me alone

Hatred and ignorance is all so temporary
It leads to death, definitely
I see it everywhere, I hear it all around
Wherever there are people, there it can be found

But what is the cause of ignorance and hate?
One gets hurt, then wants to retaliate
He finds a scapegoat, then on a whim
He targets those weaker than him

I dread violence, I hate crookedness
Hatred is a sign of weakness and cowardice
Its fruit is violence, its seed is wickedness
The true warrior fights his own bitterness

I have been struggling all my life
Against those who cause strife
I would get on a raft and cast myself out to sea
Just to put cursing and mocking far from me

Ignorance and hatred are my enemy
I fight inner battles, but not outwardly
Sometimes I get hurt, sometimes they inflict pain,
Yet I know like the phoenix I'll rise again.

I run because I can’t stand being near you
If I run faster, it might dry my tears
But I’ll never get back the years I’ve wasted on you

I have stepped away from pride
And exposed my flaws
Revealed my thoughts
Retracted my claws
Some see that and pounce
Go in for the ****
Not an ounce of respect
To humiliate me at will
I wish you would remain flaccid
At the sight of my kindness
And retract the member
Where your sacral chakra is
I have softened my heart
Mushy and red
Not for you to tear apart
Until I am dead
But for you to learn
That you are naked as well
Unless you turn
Your life will be story I tell
While I sit in heaven
And you burn in hell

I did my best to give you love
And shower you with splendour like rain above
But you're a dog who bites its own
cause it wasn't presented with the right flavour of bone
Or a shark that swallows smaller fish
To give me pain was your honest wish
You presented a lie, the real you I don't want
And so forevermore I will take up a taunt
To sing happily about you I must
I reject you utterly, you lover of lust!
I went all in, you barely dipped your toes
I showed you my cards, you revealed them to my foes
Showing no loyalty or prudence
A little bit of everyone, zero sense
I thought I could help, a wasted effort
I should have know I cannot change you mother effer
My pain will subside, your shame will live
I will now move on and forgive

The joy of life
never faded for me
There's so much beauty
in all I see
The love in me
is heaven sent
I give my love
to you, the recipient
My love is pure
Don't want anything in return
For you dear reader
my love does burn
There's so much love
It can fill a sea
I pass it on
through poetry
In love I hope
For love I live
Whatever you need
I will try to give
To you I give
This heartfelt smile
so we can share
our joy a while

Sick outside and in
I have red bumps on my skin
Off to loony bin

My good vibes, you cannot steal
I'll close my eyes, and try to heal
My shattered soul, my broken heart
Behind closed doors, is where I'll start

The public life yields much reward
But I much prefer my private life
You can knock, you can shout
I don't need you, I'll lock you out

What is life, but one huge test
Work is for gain, home is for rest
The path of life is difficult and slippery
For one addicted to technology

How quick they are to show from outside in
But won't confess from inside out
Half-truths and lies, a fake story
Conceals how they fell short of God's glory

Technology and junk food are highly addictive
*** and drugs, is this why we live?
Impulsive desire, is this what it's about?
Do it responsibly, or toss it out!

I need to change before I'm in too deep
I need rest, not just sleep
I can't always take what life brings
I must let go of certain things

From point to point, you see me run
Never still, like the moon and the sun
Always running, even with no one near:
I'm being chased by soul-crushing fear
I cannot stop, or I would drown
A current continually pulls me down
There's something inside that keeps moving around
The flesh that surrounds me longs for the ground
It's like an old bird that yearns for its nest
Wanting to go back to its pleasant rest
Wants to lie frozen devoid of life
I constantly fight it with heavy strife
Now every task feels like an impossible feat
Even eating and keeping the place tidy and neat
I don't want to make any more mistakes
Gotta start with the small things for goodness sakes!

I try to be open
My words a stream
My love of the Lord
Is my life's theme
My heart on my sleeve
My pearls before swine
My people never gave
Patience and time
To be saved
To be redeemed
That's not the point
Of my ministry

My people are dogs
I'm a sheep amongst wolves
They point and laugh
And call me a fool
For they are cruel
They want to eat me alive
The way they drool
No hand over mouth
I get stares that are cold
I suffer grievous harm
To the point where I fold
Yet I do as I'm told
I ignore so much
Love shouldn't be sold
I reject no one
In truth I am bold

I had a dream
I remember these words
You bear the cross of Noah
Is what I heard
When I go out in the world
When I preach the word
I get hurt
I argue my case
And get thrown in the dirt
They spit in my face
Such is the world
Look what they chase
Before they get hurled
To a terrible place
And be disgraced
When the scroll gets unfurled
I don't want that to happen
To this simple race
The key to forgiveness
Is to be happy
But in this place
It's an impossibility for me
So I wait patiently
For my hopes to be real
In the end I will reap
The fruits of my zeal

Never feel safe, though I'll fight till the end
How can I revive my strength to keep going
How to tell enemy from friend?

I stand ever accused
Each day a battle
I'm thoroughly used

Yet my obligation I keep, hence
Each lightning bolt vision that strikes me
I mount my defence

I forget not
For each memory I give an account
Redemption is sought

This is my hell
Come, my King
Make things well

Any day the sky may fall
with stars descending to the earth
The sun may lose its light
The moon may fly away
There's a knife hanging over my head
Any day the earth may swallow me
Death lurks in every corner
Anyone may **** me now
For I have lost my soul
The fight in me is gone
To get it all back
Will take a great deal of sacrifice

Search deep for the truth
Claim it and hide it
Hold on to it, and don't let go

Take pride in your roots
Don't forget where you come from
Remember your youth

Know who your loved ones are
Ask yourself
Who loves me?

Often we love those who hate us
And scorn those who love us
Focus on those who need us

The mob can be cruel
It goes where it wants
But it will never understand

There are those who laugh now
They will mourn in the future
Mourn now, laugh later

Grow wise and mature
Stand up for what's right
And what you believe in

I sometimes wonder why I'm here
Unable to find joy in what I have near
It's clear I must fight for what I want out of life
Yet I'm tired of poking the hive with a knife
To eat honey at the expense of strife
Fighting for life when none can survive

I need all these things to live
Yet I'm empty handed when it's time to give
I want help and compassion but it's not what I gave
No matter how hard I try I can't forgive
True judgement's concealed behind the grave
My personal judgement makes me a knave
I want my foes in hell but I want to be saved
The hypocrite in me is stuck in a torrential rain
Rotting and sick, I point finger and blame

I am told to be strong, I am told I will die
I heard rumours of a place where fallen angels lie
Where dead men groan and angry snakes hiss
Will I go there if my life goes amiss?
Or am I already saved as the protestants say
Yet today my sun is gone and the clouds are grey

Each person's a star, suppose I'm the same
Where fire of sin burns, I want out of this game
I am obsessed with wanting to ***** out the flame
Yet all is so vain, and there's nothing to gain
Between life and death I'm stuck and torn
Would it have been better to have never been born?

I never chased the things I lacked
Hoped they would just come around
People ask what's with the frown
Some things gone do not come back
It's not what I lack that has me down
It's that I didn't cherish the things I had
In the well of thoughts I drowned
Now I'm like a fish going round and round
Or an angry bitter hound
Forever stuck to a pole in the ground
The ball and chain, to which I'm bound
If I break free, I will be glad
With a mind that is clear and sound
To face the good, endure the bad

In the gap between sorrow and joy
Where the cowardly rest eternal
Where the mood is continually dull
And the cup is always half full
There the colour is only grey
And the lines are always straight
There the clock has stopped to fate
And there is no love and hate
There a dog barks but cannot bite
There a man drinks but cannot sate
And though he begs and talks all day
No one listens anyway
That is where I find myself
When I just do as I please
Though I'm content and at ease
Even God cannot help such as these
For this is the result of one-way prayer
This is lukewarmness that can never cease
This is worse than a disease
This is the end result of a desire to be free

I would have loved if I had known
Love is not something you can hold
Everything's so overgrown
I cannot toil, I must control

For once I turn my back it folds
Like a house of cards it falls
Back to dust it slowly goes
Rust consumes within these walls

And like the dust that moves with air
One day It will settle down
I'll live my life without a care
And dig my roots into the ground

Masters of reality
Adding spark to the bland
You give them your money
They stimulate your pineal gland
They live out your fantasy
They did something grand
Live like a celebrity
Fame, status, and...?
Now you feel like a nobody
Time's slipping through your hand
Yet when the clock turns a degree
You will understand
That time comes like a sea
Sweeping the land
To shift honour and dignity
Destroying foundations of sand

All of our steps are guided
All of our days are numbered
All of our thoughts are counted
All of our actions are noted
The past is like stone
The future unknown
If we follow our hearts, we fall
Search with our brains, we go blind
Nothing is within our control
Everything runs on its own
You get what you see
Somethings always will be
We must be content in being
Content with what we're seeing
For nothing else will fill the hole
And nothing is within our control

A boy appeared, so bright and pure
He thought forever he'd endure
A girl adored his charming grace
She knew his ways, he knew his place

He wanted to give her a piece of his heart
Hoping she'd give him hers so they'd never part.
But he knew not how to say no;
Infatuated and unguided, he gave her his soul.

She took his soul, like food on a plate;
She swallowed it whole, alone she ate.
And when he came to see her face,
she turned away, and left the place.

After that a part of him slowed,
not knowing why, so slightly it showed.
His graceful light was being robbed from him,
A part he thought would never fade.

Not wanting to be seen, he no longer walked the land
His knees became weak, he could hardly stand
His face so pale, and weight he gained
He turned to alcohol to help his pain

But then the darkness began to fade
He didn't know he was dreaming, that he'd awake
He knew he must not choose such a fate
Chapter closed, he'll have to wait

You gave me gifts, you didn't spare
I don't deserve, your loving care
When I was blind, when I was slack,
These things remind me you had my back.
I believed in you, and you made sure
That all my trials, I could endure.
You knew I'd fall, for I was inclined
I knew in my heart, but not in my mind.
I thought I was going straight, but I was careening
For upon others I was leaning
I wanted others to love me, but then I learned
Through trial by fire and getting burned
That since people hated you, they hated me
When I talked about you, they were angry
Then they looked upon the gifts you gave me with envy
And they sabotaged my gifts by any means necessary
So I let go, and away they went
Now I feel broken and strained and bent
So I looked and prayed, then I saw
The one who created the world and gave it law
He said we're born into sin, we're sinners from birth
Yet we should store up treasures in heaven, not on earth.
For our deeds follow us, yet to love God is a start
And all these things I hold close to my heart.

The filter that is installed
Between her head and heart
Stops her before she can start
To reveal her melancholy art

She fears the words will go round
Circle the earth at the speed of sound
Only for them to roll
Back into her lonely soul

Tears in her eyes it brings
With stones attached to her wings
Then she steps out of her cage
And onto the stage

And her words
Soar in the sky like birds
With a resting place to be found
In this heart of mine

The things she said I look back on in bed
A resting place they find in my head
Immortalized in the air
Forever there

I found myself in an unfamiliar place
I was fiending for love, then I saw her face
She was pretty and fair, with blonde hair
Pretty to the sight, she was wearing white that day.

I saw another strange thing:
A human with armour, flying without wings.
I tried to chase after him  into the sky,
But I could not keep up, and before I could sigh
He transformed me into a statue, and I fell from up high.

I then saw the two anomalies conversing with each other;
The man came to me and said brother,
This girl wants a *******, what do you say?
I said, while there is still time, let sin have its day.

He said, do you want to lose your soul?
Do you want to go down to the hole?
As we were speaking, a third person appeared;
The man gave his attention to him,
And they neared to converse.
They spoke as if in verse, then one said to the other, enough;
They turned away from me and flew off.

So I went to the woman, and we found a bed;
As I was about to go into her, she turned red.
Her hair fell off, she grew horns and a tail;
At the sight of her I grew dizzy and pale.
i shrieked and my knees grew weak,
And I could smell her - she started to reek.

Then I woke up, and started to think
About the folly of lust, and what it brings;
The sin of fornication is one we should avoid,
It’s something I’m learning with my time in the void.

Had a good time
I was free
Did what I wanted
I had to reach
This point
To battle the spectre
That haunts me
I've been lazy
I've been reclusive
Most of all
Selfish
Now I live
With the results
For alas
I have no one
Not a soul
Who will carry the burden
Of all I've done
I'm alone
With my thoughts
But in the end
That's the cure
For my restless head
As I sink into bed

Ever since the fall of man
Humanity's been in a hole
We fall then rise, then fall again
Always with a sleepy soul
Most infuriating to me
Is one who sits on others backs
What are we, a totem pole
Why should we should be stacked?
Don't ride my heart into the ground
I am already in a tired state
My heart is bleeding through these cracks
You inflicted with your weight
For when you rise to bring me low
Or when you do better than me and call me slow
It's like you're setting me up to stumble
It's so important to be humble

I live in my head, off the body of Christ's bread
His blood flows in my veins, which I'm prepared to shed
My workaholic dad said I'm lazy and better off dead
But I'm always wet as sweat burns my skin and bed
When I asked him to brave the fire of hell with me he fled
He couldn't stand the scorching red, he chose the easy path instead
Heaven my reward, money is where he got lead
In the end I'm a scapegoat who bled so they can stay the same
I shame myself so my folks go easy on the pain
They say I'm stupid and not on my best behaviour
As they **** my blood I think of my lord and saviour

I see your call
I pick up the phone and stall
Maybe I answer and say
Baby where have you been...?
Why haven't you been around...

This scenario plays in my mind
Yet I know what your answer would be
I wasn't very kind to you
I wanted to change your truth
And now I regret the present

Yes I have lost you, sure
Now your absence speaks in honest words
I thought we would journey worlds
I must move on, not to dwell
And hope to see us some day well

In the process of healing it's important to forgive people
You may say that some wretched people are beyond forgiving
Understand that we are all enslaved and in debt forever
We've reaped what we didn't sow, a world pleasantly delightful

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a cage or prison
At times like this I wonder who put me here
Was it people who used me as a stepping stone?
Or those who put me in their crosshairs and fired?

Yet the worst pain is betrayal from a trusted friend
How can one trust anymore after being misled and backstabbed?
Intentionally hurt by a person in a position of confidence
Is like a death blow to the soul, eternal pain

Some things are beyond our understanding, some folk without hope
We must pray that we be unyoked to this world
For we are ghosts and shades and spirits in flesh
Here temporarily on our way to a more permanent place

Being shy
I open my hands
Whatever I get
I feel content
I don't ask for more
Or less
The wall is enough
The shadows on the ceiling
Make me feel a certain way
There is nothing on earth
That doesn't make me feel
Something or another
As long as I feel
I know I'm alive
I can't turn back time
Can't forward the clock
My mission has ended
So I sit with my thoughts
I know I'm being tested
But I feel so tired
My excuse is
I'm half asleep
Then I get shocked
Then I go back to sleep
I'm on leave
Until I get back up
Show me what there is
I'm missing
And please stop
Hurting me

We are slaves and servants to the Lord, through our humble service we will reap our reward...

We ask ourselves, what is life?
We toil hard while there's light
And find no rest come night

What is life?
Our foes force us to take flight
We are targets, always in sight

What is life?
Our hope is very slight
That we'll be released from our plight

What is life?

There is no true happiness in the world that we're in...
As long as we're mortals under the spell of sin...
We cannot conquer and save our skin...
Yet if our hope is in Christ, we can be sure that we'll win

Lost faith in humanity
These bruises ain't healing
Why'd you expose me,
Make me walk around naked?
When you saw my deeds clothed me
You soiled my garment
So I threw it away
It was burning my skin
I have flashbacks of falling
And nobody calling
But my ears are still open
And I'm tired of lying
Gotta keep moving
This is no time for crying
Tell me the truth
What can I do
How can I help you

Long have I waited to escape the toxicity
Of the house I grew up in, my parents hypocrisy
I thought I could right the wrong if I was alone
Yet without a spouse, is this really a home?

I've done my best to keep out of sight
Stimulants in the morning, depressants at night
They make me smell bad and tarnish my beauty
Who can love someone like me?

I have an open mind, but a heart shut tight
I'm open to ideas, but against love I fight
I've been hurt and burned by love grievously
Who can love someone like me?

I ask for help, and get empty words
I hear their song, they sing like birds
To a shattered soul, it hurts and burns
Weep with me, and patch my wounds

Live with me, and hold me tight
Dream with me, all through the night
I promise to be loyal and true,
Like a stray dog, I'll forever love you

Something hidden from the wise
And yet to fools, is no surprise
The depth and gravity of yearning eyes
That magnetically spellbind with attractive lies

Puts black holes to shame
Different day different name
Those who see through the game
Flee the soul trap all the same

Yet when it dies, is a relief
For it is a power thief
Else it might live long enough to see
And know the truth, which is worse I believe

I tried to lead by example
To tell the truth and speak with love
Against an army of demonic sinners
I waged war against evil
For her

After all I invested in her
Sweat from work
Tears of anguish
I even shed my blood once
For her

And then what does she do
She ***** some guy
Behind my back
Thus making herself worthless
A failed investment

And then she tries to come back
As if nothing ever happened
Well, I haven't moved on
But the love I reserved for her
Is now wrath and I will cry against her

Why are the wicked preserved
Why are their lives prolonged
Their crimes are not met with swift recourse
They laugh at their victims
Make sport of their lives

I feel sapped
A bloodsucking succubus has sunk her claws into me
I can no longer fight
I feel so weak
I doubt myself

Yet my life is a breath
And despite my rage I see what I once was
A sinner of varying degree
So I will wait for justice
As my patience is tested

With my eyes jarring wide
My lips sing your song
The words make me cry
Make me feel I belong

The song is so bright
Took my soul out the pit
The urge I must fight
The urge to steal it

I wished I could write
Such a powerful song
I searched all night
But my heart was all wrong

Then one starry night
I felt a cold winter breeze
A few notes took flight
And landed on my knees

Like a stark thunder peal
Like a sharp wind in spring
At once I could feel
The song I must sing

Suppressed and intimidated, the truth hurts of late
The ones that I love, I should honestly hate
I wish it were enough to be gentle and kind
Without being robbed of spirit blind
I'm broken and hurt, ****** blue and dry
Emptied my soul then got tossed aside
I took what was valuable and fed it to dogs
Now confusion lingers like smoke and fog
Emptiness sings for me an echoing song
My heart wants to ***** out what I did wrong
I can't express what I feel inside
I try to hide what should be heard far and wide
The truth is for all eyes to see
And I'm not the only one who's suffering
People hate to be put in their place
They rob crowns and thrones, then try to save face
The agents of evil, the haters of truth
Who rebel against God, who demand proof
They are rebels and thieves who live in dens
This earth is the closest they'll ever be to heaven
I can't wait till it's over and done
Till they're thrown into hell, each and every one

I rode the tide, the current of life
It was my choice to gamble with fate
I was naked and blind
Sweet and kind
You caught me before it was too late

I was in the lions den
Fat like a juicy hen
Surrounded by evil men

The situation was dire
The beast and the liar
Were trying to lure me
And set me on fire

They made my mind sick
Drew stones and sticks
They struck me quick
Now my wounds I must lick

Yet I survived by your grace
And left that place
Now I have all the time and space
To reverse my disgrace

I am your doe
Meek and low
Yet my enemy is your foe
My pain is your woe
You will repay them for the blood they let flow
Blood for blood, they'll reap what they sow!

For all my life I have been shy
They pick on me I don't ask why
Their words are bullets that tear through me
I should get on a raft and drift out to sea

I sweat whenever I get scared
They never asked they never cared
Why my skin is red and swollen
Where is my pride, it has been stolen

I have answers yet the question is missing
The answer is obvious yet no one listens
Please God and the manna will be given
You will see worlds that you can live in

Where all your wishes materialize
Clean up your mind to find the prize
Sweep up the dust and wipe the grime
Live your life like it's for all time

For all my life I have been shy
But now I feel I have to try
No one should make me sweat or cry
The answer is obvious, the question is why

I'm food for the crow, next to the worm and the mole
I've sunk very low, dug myself in a hole
People look at me, they stare and they gawk
Don't like what they see, they glare and they mock
I'm so full of sin, and so I don't talk
Let you under my skin, my mind is a rock
I cry all the time, only one who listens is God
I sigh for my crime, truth strikes like a rod
Evil surrounds, it strikes from all sides
The devil confounds, he taunts and divides
My mind is a blank, never making a peep
Yet for this I thank, and this memory I keep
I looked up, and saw a light
Through which evil couldn't pass, with all it's might
And it surrounded me while I counted the sheep
And I felt at ease, and I fell asleep

I live in the shade
A dark corner of the housetop
My actions and habits
Have all lead me here
I live in fear
of losing what's meant to be lost
and gaining what's meant to be gained
I sit in the dark

Light means exposure
From its pinnacle I have fallen
Into an abyss of my own doing
A prison of my own making
I want to leave
There's nothing for me here
except more of the same
Like eating the same food for eternity

I've decided to leave
Though I have no destination
I will scour the nation
And search for you
Lead me away from my burden
Take me away from myself
Refresh my aching spirit
Remind me that misery isn't centre stage

Don't be too humble, or you'll get what you need
The school of hard knocks will be the life you lead
Until you groan and moan about your cruel fate
And people will take and eat what you should have ate.

Don't be too aggressive, or you'll get what you want
And full of good things you'll sneer and taunt
Until you realize you lived too fast
And choked on life and cannot last.

I have seen those who take pride in their faithlessness
When the going gets tough, they crumble.
I have seen those who take pride in their faithfulness
How they look at others and grumble.

Some say it takes time, but that is not entirely true;
When you eat food, time will not chew for you.
Some look at depth, some see only length;
Enlightenment and ignorance both can be used for strength.

A good feeling is not a trophy one puts on a shelf.
Every moment I am working on myself.
I have no need for naysayers or proponents
I simply acknowledge my good and bad moments.

Fix the bad, then do good;
It's human nature, as it should.
Some see only what's nice, some see only what's vice
Yet once you uncover a memory, no need to do it twice.

Love is accepting
That's not what I gave
It wasn't love
But a harsh lesson from above
A desire to save
That put our ties in a grave
We succumbed to the hail
This love doomed to fail
My love has grown cold
And due to betrayal
Where once I was bold
I'm now just a baby
Or so I've been told
It put out my sun
I search for red flags
And see evil in everyone
Like they're hiding a gun
I
Trust
No
One