Caterpillar
baby
watching
changing
right before
my eyes,

some shedding
shells,
some blooming
life never
to be recognized
again.

but in  
a moment
everything
is life
and endless
possibilities.

like the
moment I
saw my
first baby's

eyes.

like the
first moment
I fell
inside her
mothers
eyes.

and changed
forever...

from the
moment
of the
birth of
the first
threads
of my
breaths,

bleeding
into the
colors of
life.

I was
young
yet pure,

I was
then a
teenager
and wild
I was for
a moment
a young adult
sewing oats,

between the
moments
stolen in
your young
girl smile

and then
the sun
changed
the colors
of my bright
rainbow
hues,

and I
began to
fade into
this color
of white.

gently tattered.
and worn.

from life's
battles and
tender night
embraces...

till this
moment with
you where
each and
every night

you danced to
my thoughts
and threads
unraveling,

and with  you
still wrapped
.
with my love
and soul
around you.

until we
came to this
moment now
before us

the first
morning
without light

and the next
moment
that I

may die
with you.....

we were
puzzle pieces
that never
quite fit .

even now
many years
later and
a few
ruff edges
torn and
broken off,


edges
that still
reach out
and cut
and bleed
our heart,

fresh flesh
for the taking.

but still
at night I
dance clumsily
in my head
with you,

rarely making
eye contact,

breaking
emotional toes
and feelings
like they were
just peanuts
on a cheap
back water
bar floor.

and this is
all now
that is
left of us.

the puzzle
dance,

a beginning
that will
never end.

Your the
snowflake
looking for
redemption
as you
circle swirl
from the
ceiling of
this black
night,

and as
you settle.
upon my face

and slowly
melt upon
the corners
of my
mouth,

I stand
and
I wish
I was

kissing
you.

nothing to
say,

to the reflection
of your
picture
in my
shattered
hearts window.

thoughts and
feelings all
out of
bounds.

prayers
flying broken
circles
around  the
memory of
your angel
eyes.

and my
soul is
blind without
you here.

like sun
melting snow,

you were only
here for
far
too short
\
a time.

My heart
is not broken
or scared,

it is still
open and
growing
and fertile
to
everything
love has
to offer
and teach.

it is just that
when you left
you took
a piece
of it.

and now
50 years
later or
so.

I realize
that I  
never will
have
that piece
again....

My dreams
see all
of the
spaces inside
you,

and my
thoughts rejoice
in every
thought of
you that
they find.

your eyes
full of
stars.

and your
whispers of
moments
that seem
to last
forever
in your
smile.

and each
morning
I am
the greater
because
of you.

and each
evening
when you
leave I
know too

that the
world is
something
less.