MENTAL PATIENT WRITING SOMETHING

Ayad Gharbawi
February 19, 2010 – Damascus, Syria


I love you all you
Or, all of you
I guess
I should write
Properly

Happy ones
Yes you!
Living you all
Drinking air
Vacuous nonentities
Am I describing myself or yourselves?

Supreme in my brutal
Powerlessness
Inertia is my magnificent pulse
Loss is my definition
That defines
My dumbest elemental stench

I live to see so-called teeth grinding
My teeth
Actually
I talk about
Am I being grammatical correct for you all?

Worms satanic
Within
Eyeballs melting from Sorrrow
And they then
Continually
Keep
Bleeding and looking fractured and pale
Didn’t Sane People
Tell me
Eyes are Souls into
Our lost Selves?
Or, something similar?

Weeping Nerves
That are
To dry
To move
Without a breakdown
I am scared, in a bed, a room
I involuntarily break my idiotically stretched lips
So, I become shy
From you all onlookers
Doctors and Visitors
Or Relatives?
Who’s who here?

And,
If I fake
That pointless
Smile
For any ashamed passerby
A sad banner
Shall be there -
Announcing my
Smashed structure
And functionless music
Will tell you my homeless address
Of my abandoned Mind and Flesh.
-----

Epochs and eons and celestial time,
Enormous chunks of eternity,
Pass so quickly by,
As I move through this realm,
Dragging  behind me,
Unequaled paramimity,
Or a word that sounds like that,
Forever is blurred by tomorrows and todays,
Moving through life,
Sorrrow remains.

POUR UP
DRANK

SMOKE UP
DANK

HEAD SHOT
DRANK

Mother forgive me
I must...
DRANK

Got bills to pay
and bills in the bank
**** what you think
I know I don't got it made
That is no lie-ah!
You know we been on the rise.
You already been advised.
Why don't you take my advice!?
Eyes in the sky.....
Watching my moves, tracking the time

All in a *****'s live....
I am still wondering why.....

some of you
wishing on the stars and dragon *****
that a ***** dies. Yuh Yuh.
Let me shine. It's gonna be Alright.
No more innocent gettin this fight.
We gonna "GET RIGHT"
You right, cause I will ride
In the night, no night- light. Like a Dark Soul.
Me sorry. No **** with po pos.
You slowpoke, you need to row-row
Rock the boat, doing most, don't need yo vote.
No care how Simon goes or who says-so
If I fire off at the mouth, you bettter LAY LOW
My chaos uncontrolled.
My boy on a sugar rush.
Adrenaline, times 20 me on coco
Never done it tho.
Don't you do it either.
You too pretty for that....  -_-




You don't phase me with no phase.
Get lost in your labyrinth.
Trapped in a mazed.
Oh, I will get you amazed!!!
I promise, my momma and his mother
I'll get us all of this crater
FOR IT'S ALL TOO LATE

**** with NO LAMES.
I play no games! Nothing's the same.
Get on the train, Might roll up in yo lane.
We wild out like we *******
Get off my ****, if you bumping gums
about the SAME THANG
Baby, gotta do, what you gotta do.
Keep it going bay-bay. In link. Chain Gang.
Keep the track going,
cause we doing, what we gotta do maintain




RIP TO MY MOMMA
Waking from coma
Neva needa deadbeat dad.
I'm a be a betta FATHER
**** my sorrrow
**** this bottle
Tell your man and yo woman to hollaaaaaaa
I'ma wylaaaaaa.
Like a prayer. Feel like Madonna!
I know I have my problems
Sora. I am the key.
I am the solution
Mystery Gang. TOGETHER. We Will Solve em.......

joys and sorrow are  way of life,
leading lives happily is our strive,
but an unseen turned worst some lives,
whil my near and dear ones are deprived
my joy and sorrrow's are alike...

I was a child who was everything
but she became nothing
She was adopted by the world full of sorrrow
The world that made her broken
The world which she worn its scars,
That made life H
                                   E
                                           L
                                                 L
She was a dead walking man

Until one day, I met him
I looked into his eyes,
Eyes with sparkles of change.
He made life H
                            E
                                A­
                                    V
                          ­              E
                                           N
He smiled at me and,
his smile repaired my broken parts.
His lips uttered the words "I love you"
and they made me a complete angel because...
Now my scars are seen as stars.