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Poems

Aditi Sep 2017
I have these abandoned cities inside of me,
Named on the people that once used to love me.
All the roads and the towers are devoid of company-
No one there remembers my face.


So, pls, understand how hard it is for me to answer your trivial "tell me more about yourself"



I have been held before by a gaze as soft as yours,
He is a stranger now, like you'll be too.
I have been desired to stay, and been pleaded to go-
Both at once.

So, pls, understand if I tune you out sometimes and go whichever way the wind blows.


I have my hands stained in the color of ink,
All these sadness and I don't know what to do with it
I have been both- a sad girl and sadness wearing the face of a girl,
You pick whoever you like more.

But, pls, understand if I can't exactly tell who I'm and what is it that I want.

I have been seen - either on the edge; wary of the fall,
Or playing in the deep end, till I go blue in the face.
Adrenaline is who I court, but I'm married to the caution
Till sadness comes to take its claim, and his I become.

So, pls, understand if most of the times my eyes have layers upon layers of emotions, but my face is blank.

I have made words my eulogy, eulogy my beginnings.
I have so many stories to tell, but they demand to be left alone so stubbornly.
So quiet and out of place, like the last ray of sun in a twilight sky- I stay still to breathe.

So, pls, try to understand this is not poetry but just an attempt to understand my own self?
Feedbacks needed
Aditi Mar 2017
Pls, don't emotionally abuse each other and call it love. Pls, don't be a parasite depending on the other for your happiness and growth, and call it sweet. It's good to be happy around them, however that does not mean you start being miserable without them. Even if they're gone for a second. Pls, don't tie a noose around someone's ankle, start pulling on it every time you are sad, and call it love. Your dependency is not love, your insecurities is not love. We all get down and we all need to know we are loved once in a while but as romantic it's to have a person remind you how beautiful you're daily, you need to believe it and feel it so you can tell them that they're beautiful too, that whenever they get little insecure or worried, you're not so caught up in your own bubble of troubles to notice it. Because accepting others to fix all your problem is not love. Because in the end, you are and you should be the driver of your life and they can guide you once in a while and sit next to you,  but please don't call all this needing love.
Ayeshah Mar 2010
He Fights to be the Provider,
Hiding the Pain he Sometimes feels,
Trying to be your Healer,When you both have to seal -Deals ...
In life that give way to many...
Mistakes, He lifts you up when your feeling down,
Holding all he feels deep, Down,
Worries about what you don't have while trying
to make you Laugh,
Sometimes Sitting  up, Late at night thinking
of another way to give everything
Helping you
Through the old wounds of pain caused by another Mans
Abuse,un truths or lies you never forgave,
Taking blame even thou its not in him to hurt
this presious women,
To him You are everything,
Asking Nothing of himself,
When your in pain he leands the help,
taking all your worries away
Pain Skecthed on his face,
You dont Notice, your too stuck in your own
Turmoils, You dont think..., What dose he need,
A Mans Struggles
Is beyound us,We only know what we WANT, As Women
Some of Us don't trust enough or care long as we
Get OUR share..,
We aruge with him,
Fight and fuss,
Making it harder on him to just be a Man
His Struggles,
Not to mention The Father or daddy to some of our kids,
Even when their not even his,We burend you with our self
conclusions and confusions, Make you Pay Everyday
for something you didnt do or Never Could..
Mistreatment is evident as
We give to him
Our own Abuse ...Words Hurt him too,
Even thou he Holds it ALL in
As Girls, Ladies and Women,We concurred you,
With looks of our own Deceptions and lie to get you in our web,
Black Widows Grasping at you, laying you on the plater not really
knowing what "lies" Ahead,
Not All Women but Many of THEM...,
Taking him from Man to the Beast paying for
The ******* by other old peeps family
or the Other Ex's
Not leaving Room for him to be Next,
Or The Best...,
**** His Struggles and let him deal with mines,
Let him see me as I want him to,
his girl we say, His Lady, His wife,
His Baby Momma
With all the strife and Drama,
Causing him to be Not Man but less of Him,
Make him the Next Abuser,
No its not Right but
hey Thats life,
or THE Way you want it to be..
You wanted more of his time,
stopped him from making a Dime or paper,
To Recreate him
Not in God's Image but as You want it..,
Women Listen...
He's
Giving all he can, Working Paying bills..,
In the street or 9to 5 ...,
Doing anything to let You get by,
THIS MAN STRUGGLES.
Yeah he gets a little satisfaction
from all that he's done to just put
that Smile on your face ...,
See his kids say
Hey my Daddys great,
But Given His Struggles His way of doing things..,
its time to sit and think
what it means to be a MAN,  Be Men....,
A Mans Struggle's
We dont talk much about...,ONLY what he do "WRONG"
or what he's NOT willing to Do for you,
You Complain
About what's NOT Given  or  
NOT done (done/doing RIGHT) whats not yours
or what He DONE gone in did AGAIN & AGAIN...
This Song Continues,
And now hes got your Tune Stuck in his Head,
Negatives not Words of Encouragement,
NO  Praises and Thanks for helping Rasie these bad as kids ...,
Putting food and gifts & Roof over ya Heads,
Saving up, time to spend and taking work off...not that its a cost
YOUR willing to make
( cuz Some just Aren't Going to Take it/US Women)
or to even say THANKS,
Some Of us Women just dont Get it,
Can't Say all Women but
I know Plenty of THEM,
Not willing to take his place on any given DAY...
Making him..,
Not a man but worse than sin, taking away his "self"
Esteem and the MAN you ONCE Fell in love with,
is No longer him,
Changing him Again til he's unreal...
Saying "I do" just to Get his Dibbs,
Saying "I love you" just to pay a bill,
STOP WORRYING
ABOUT WHEN HIS NEXT PAY IS,
OR IS HE GOING TO BE THE NEXT
to do what the Ex's did to you...,
ABUSE YOU,
THINK OF THE ....
Love he's giving..,
You as a women and for
giving the realationship a chance,
Wow to just be a ma!,
HIS STRUGGLES,
GOT ME IN a TRANSITION OF FEELING HIM
AND LISTENING TO ALL YOU MEN!...
I  Apologies if this Was ever me
(I bet I did it too acted petty and lost a good Man,)
I AM THANKFUL AND YOUR HEAVEN SENT.
AGAIN TO ALL THE GREAT MEN...
To all you Wonderful MEN...I say AGAIN TY...
I know some of the ****
your in and I feel your pain at times Too,EVEN
if I don't ALWAY Understand You,
Even when I'm Yappying my Mouth...,
Talking a bunch of ****,
I give Thanks to you,
all you men For DEALING with it!
Hench I dedicate this
to You Men
Cuz I can only Guess About.....
A MAN'S STRUGGLES!!!
Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
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