I miss you.
I miss the love that would flood through my veins, this love has lived in my soul my whole life.
It was born because i was, it was a gift to me just because I was there.
Your love has lived inside my soul for my entire life, not because of all the good I offer but because I am your granddaughter not by blood, by choice.
My graditude is infinite for loving me and all my baggage, and for doing everything on this earth to make me happy and feel special and believe in me.
Being away from you and topsail island makes me feel lopsided, like I’m missing a part of myself.
I miss being next to the beach,
I can smell sunscreen everywhere like it’s perfume
I have never missed anywhere as much as I miss being next to the beach and in my grandmothers arms.

I had a dream so long ago
Now you're walking into my life
And rain clouds of doubt have all gone away
I come presenting no false self
I have no desire to be with anybody else
A new dawn of romance has now arrived
It feels that I'm living a dream  with a dream angel
An extra special person who loves me
Floating higher than any blue gray cloud in the sky
Dream angel pleasedon't stop my feelings
From building now
Everyday just let me love youin thanks and graditude

One day I wish I
Two day I
Just one day I
Know I'll meet my make
Today no
Tomorrow  no
But what's known I'll meet them some day
Not next month maybe not next year I wish and pray
My death it to meet my maker I tried to try is to fail I gave up
But life never gave up on me
I really give up and watch all around me
I follow death and wish I can meet my maker
They gave me dreams promises of snakes stabbing me
Bighting me snapping twisting jumping threw these streams
I'm extreme I'm just willing to not breath
And now my life is just torturing me I'd die if
I really wanted to I tried but my death is giving me graditude
Really I wish for a friend but I trust nothing bit death in the end I tried this is not the end I really pray life stops playing tricks on me cause in my dreams I rot I die in hell but I live on earth wishing to meet my maker

The room in this basement is unkept and unknown. It smells of decay with no direction. Am I to allow it to go unnoticed or bellow out into its darkness.  Be gone with its squalor and heart with no body with depths of depression below.
  Get out!  Go!  No more!   I long for fear and graditude as I shut the door.