At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

I learned how to fly 4 nothing

shattered my own broken heart
diminished to the lowest feeling
belittled my confidence
i steered  my self to a dead end  
i crash thinking i could love again
after my love left this earth  
the remembrance of her appeared
in a beautiful soul
an Ora of an angle
reflections of lights off her skin in the dark  
my heart  instantly wanted to work again
dreams appeared my brain was focused
i had a chance and it was amazing
i felt the energy run threw my blood
the connection was incredible
but every time i saw this outstanding person
my love grew strong
but love she was not looking for
i strained my mind
shattering  my heart that was broke already

Only in life a mind body and soul is all in one
When we sleep our mind and soul freely run
The time will come are soul will leave
Reincarnate to who we are supposed to be
The sun the moon the stars do last
But are body's are just an hour glass
Time will tick it can only live so long
It goes so  fast  but no need to run or dash
Love the ones and cherish them b4 they pass
Cause only in your dreams they will always belong
Time is ticking till it stops and are mind body and soul separates and move on

to truly think existence is a matter
im still here but dont feel seen
my mind reacts with depression
lost in a cave under the sea
droning slowly
hopping to be noticed
and i was
pulled out of my doubt
refreshed with faith
but it was just for a few moments
i got so excited that i was found
rambunctious i became
*** i felt like i was loosing my way again
and the more i push i started swimming down
down to that cave i droned
with more pain i had
no matter how much people help
it feels like they ruin me more
i sit in deep waters with pruned hands
waterlogged and warped  
comfortable with being alone
for that water i soak in is my tears
and that dark cave is my head

Every one 8s a couple
And it's just me my self and I
Waiting for tthat hand to hold
So bold I live life alone
No one to please no one stays
everyone leaves with a peace that lays
In side my soul with in my heart
I stand alone and always apart
I wish for something
I can never have
It's always a ttaste the makes me sad

I only did it for u
I only hit it for u
I wanted to be on the same page
Feel the same high
Breath the same air
Wondering if we would fly
I only did it with u
Its not really my style
I just wanted u to stay
So I lowered my gard and I tried
****
I only wanted a friend
A companion
At first we where **** in great
I could of stopped u
But u didn't want that from me
I couldn't control your needs
I really would of treated u like gold
But u left me stranded for a high
I don't do that *******
U take my money and go sleep with other guy
And know that u want to get clean
I get a **** u ******* and good by

Just waiting to dies slow
The pain is no better then the lies
heart akes with every breath
sadness and the feeling of nothing let
it's binds up and squeezes tight
Putting me out of place in a twilight
blood flow out of my eyes
hurt and heart broke from life
No friends to help out no one's around to see my torment
my life is a disaster  my soul is locked up in an air tight box
No time to breath no feeling of free no relaxation
And no self esteem
Fought for the end but now I'm just waiting
Theirs nothing left but pain and  paytionts  
Waiting to die I'm anxious

Seems to me that people call u a friend
Lie to your face and expect the rules to bend
Talk be hind your back and expect u to contend
Seems to me that u call people your friends
When the ******* u seek away and pretend
Their are more snakes then u think even
More snakes then the devil can send
You can be loyal as **** but beat down at the end
So many rips and tairs not able to mend

Two faced talkers smiles and eyes
A wolf in sheep's clothing what a beautiful disguise
I wait and watch carefully cause everyone just wants to ****
U unleashed a beast that can make wolves tails tuck
I've been nothing but loyal but it's never enough
People are different  but the same with some stuff
Greed and temptation will show change and set in stone
Your only out for your self and now I will always know
Narsisest complete with anger and disparate despair
I can care less for friends I'll still pay it forward I have no need for snakes  liars and talkers
...

A slave to love a dark time for my heart to feel  a sucker  that punishes him self from a deep pain of feeling ice cold this world is ice cold I must not become..  a four letter word that rips me to peace every chance it takes  cursed since birth is a feeling I will never learn to deal with  torments me and brings me down any chance they can I will only breath steam in this ice cold world cause me heart is to big to give up on love

I already mastered a woman's heart she's gone
I cry every night I make a river from a pond
I finish bottles with dark sky's and bright stars
Me and a full moon have this bond
Damage done my eyes dont dry when i hear the words from young
It's crazy how things haunt u and it's all over with nothing said or done
I like to enjoy my moments and I'm so much better alone
Cause I can't explain my self nor do I like to go home
I can't sleep till I'm good and ready
my smiles a charmer but my eyes give me a way
So just have a drink with me cause anyone can be gone in a day

If u are done u are done
I always new I was not your type
I felt that once B4
I have not yet found what I am looking for
I can not seem to keep anything
For the most part
I have  no time for the same old jokes

Falling in and out of trapped doors
We close one another opens
When it rains
The drops free my enslavement  
As I rise up from the floors
I maintain a slyte grin
It poor my eyes gloss
Determined  to chance a risk
I role my dice
For a hand of cards I chase
I awake  twisted with illusions of snakes
Granted I look at my friends first
Enormal I think I know I feel
Nothing alters a vain of blood
As they hand me water
Feed me lies
Tell me I'm special tell me I'm strong
Help me coexist from the pain of time
They feed me lies
Trash my trust
And stab my back
The **** my heart and
Grab my stash
They claim we make perfect sense
I stand alone
I gave up hope
I'm on my own
With a pain unknown
I gave in 100%
No I give nothing 100%
Played by vulcherz  
Just for Lil rocks
Now I'm altered in to a selfish state
I want nothing
That's just the music I face

Let it be
I know it's me
I hear it often
Really sour but spoken sweet
my hearts been broken  
And now it's rotting
Cold cells run threw my warm blood
I have issues yes because
U lost mmy trust
I wish u didn't do that cause u lost my love
Feeling used beat down and hurt
It's worse then hearing
that your dieing  since your birth
it's really messed up how my life works

Got ****** in past life
Tied burned and buried
Crusified  starved and whipped
Theirs never a rush but life wants to hurry
The fermented fruits where used
To cherish. Meant to be sipped
Abused or used lessons in relish
I knew a man we saw saw from far
We differ but lived in the same constalations
Saw the same things and been threw the same preparations
I was forced to play he enjoyed the  partisapation
I grew sick of the corrupt had a change of heart and just wanted to love
This man has for filled his dreams of corruption altered his ego
And enjoys the killing
For filling my dues me and my best friend became old news
Enemies we say but really just fools
Change of heart to me was created
But still had to **** the negative
That's all inside me
My name is Gemini constentlly battling
My inner wars all though we don't get along my positive is strong
As long as I stand and don't follow my addictions
Consiquences are harsh and my negative is imprisoned  
If I was to set him free their will be a dramatic change in my eyes

My last words shall not be spoken
Heartless moods and selfish tokens
Doors are locked so none can open
slit my throat and gouge my eyes
Rip my tongue  and chop my prints
I shall not hear it may not speak
Can not feel and I must not see
this life has been cursed for me
I fall in love but never loved
Me sober is a high of drugs
A king of kings with a mood that swings
pleasure makes it worse

After being sad depressed and hurt your hole life
It's just a regular feeling in life
You live with it
And you tare your self apart because of it
It feels like your getting stabbed three different ways with a knife
It only a feeling it's only this feeling
That tares me away from civilization
Tares me away from happiness
Ruins every thing about u
Know one cares about u when your down
And you don't realize how much the want to make u happy
But the saddened mood swings make u look unappreciative
And unthankful but truly you are
But something so good happens in your life
It's only right to feel hurt about it cause
Something bad is gunna happen

Deep in the dark sky's with dim clouds with no moon
Acouple of stars looks like a tulip in full bloom shadowed by a light gray and off white..
A cool breeze wisps with the sounds of waves crashing
I relax it's a good night thanks for asking..
I don't ask for much I just like to chill calm as can be just like the feeling under the moon while I'm at the beach
I don't ask for much I just like to chill enjoy my ends with sound site and feel

Not everyday can you wake up gets ****** over and be nice about it..
Apologies mean nothing I can live with out it
But to do the same thing over and over I ain't really about it
My stubborn is careless but I hurt no one but me
I go behind no one's back lie or just leave

A poor man's soul once told me u can live blind and still be able to see
Or u can have site and live life blindly

I care way to much till I begin to get hurt I still don't give up till I feel I'm lessening my worth

I've been left for dead more then a dozen even by family often by people I can call cousin  or by people u think u can love.. I must of been buggin

Never really had no one always chose to be alone theirs so much drama in the word and to me it's just better for it to be unknown

If I could speak to god
I wouldn't beg or demand
I simply come forth
or sstay ware I stand
I am not mad about what happened in the past
it seems like u put me on a road u can easily  crash
Forced on to a bad road
It's like u just threw me in trash
My decisions  my own when the choices where made
Not to smart got expelled in first grade
couldn't read till the middle of middle
I got tested every day by being belittled
It's not a thing about the past what's done is done
BuT ware am I going who have I become
Why am I in hell how long will this punishment last
I made a wrong turn as soon as I left that woum
Not all the choices where mine
It's the cards that u dealt
I can't seem to get a grip
Or ever work anything out
That's how I feel that's always what I felt
Got the short end of the stick
Right when I was born in this hell
I have so little questions and I know the answers will dwell
Can u help brighten my days
let me in on some faith
Cause I'm digging a hole with a shot gun to my face
I would like things to get better change for the best
Find some good friends and get out of this mess

Y cheat y lie
Y stab someone in the back
Who wants to help
Y drain your self for someone who will hurt u
Y bother
Getting hurt goes both ways
You let them do it
I learned a lesson in a relationship
I was so easy going it ruined it
I let them have all the freedom they wanted
Gave them everything they asked
Allowed them to make their choice
And it bit me in the ***
Y even bother should I be more demanding
Is that the affection  they want
Idk all I know is I can't be controlled
So y bother being controlling
I was born to be single
Forget being with anyone
I love my self more when I'm sober alone
And that's what I am gunna be

I go to the end of the earth
To see the galaxies reflection
In the waves and calm waters
The ripples begin from a breeze
Still looking downwards  up
From a distance
Like looking half way threw the mirror
The sounds of the clashing white waters Magnifies  
And expands the mind like a hulusanagen
Open from all angles   u can feel each element around u
Free and exact
The night of day
The breath of the sea
The fire of light
And the land we comfortably control like it means nothing
If I can live and breath the site of a beach every night
I'd fully be at peace

Not found in the eyes
We suddenly look deeper
Some people create lies
But truth speaks for its self
Words contudict
And gestures explain
A Lil lie can be seen
Deep in the eyes of its teller
We can only tell by paying attention

It's only a negative to me when feelings arupt
Love is fake and emotions cerupt
It takes control and it's hard to ajust  
My hole life I'd just take it and rush
Nothing ever last all it does is mess with my head
No one is real I'd just rather be dead
I stay alone even with a crowd
Only people play with my head and tare my heart down
Just a feeling of me that no one likes it's
When I accompany I'm just left alone it's not the first Time.
I tear my way home
.setting a ground no one is aloud
I'm meant to be alone and alone I am now

In the end are looses are really a win
A win that can't be beaten..
A lesson can be brought up as a downer
No depression  is just insane
Everyone wins everyone hurts everyone lives with them selves
Chances are always given u have to fall to stand back up taller
You have to loose to fight harder to win
Don't just take anything as a loss cause everything that goes on in your life prepares u for your next step forward

Let it be
I know it's me
I hear it often
Really sour but spoken sweet
my hearts been broken  
And now it's rotting
Cold cells run threw my warm blood
I have issues yes because
U lost mmy trust
I wish u didn't do that cause u lost my love
Feeling used beat down and hurt
It's worse then hearing
that your dieing  since your birth
it's really messed up how my life works

I've been beaten and dragged down
Raised with all types of hell
I lost my best friends
I've sat in a cell
I worked on my self
I've started over again
I tried and I tried
And I ******  up over again
I've lived on the streets
I've challenged my strength
I ran away  and I made it threw to today
Problem solving is all that I done
I took my self out of the equation.
And the problem was done
I've thought many time
And I know it would hurt a few
a few months later people will forget
It's not like I'll make history
Life not even worth my breath
As easy as it sounds
I feel that would be one thing I'd regret

Dragged down from heartless souls
In the shadows waiting
Positioning them selves for the next move
Hard to see but out their u know
Any wrong move can set u up for failure
I feeling of bad company
Vibes and guts challenge your mind and thoughts
FForce of judgment is easy to change
No one is truly there
U alone can only help your self
Best friends are strangers and family is just a guide

I'm like a star
Millions of light years away
from any thing
No one is around
I shine by my self
Things float along
But to hot to come close to
I travel alone
I conversate with my self
No one shows up when I need help
No one not no one
it seem like
I only know how to make people leave
Walk away walk away
Know matter how good I do
No one stay no one stays

Opened my mind for creativity
Outlooks and chances
Let in by light from the darkness of closed doors
In to the eyes let out by freedom of souls
An Ora surrounds  their features and halo
Captured  from sight even when it's not seen
A feeling of gut and passion of dreams
Intertwined  with mind body and soul
Whispers of charm let's out with a glow
As the sun sets the world will behold
Greater then good better then bad
Treasure with a smile transitions my sad

She always like to leave me
She always likes to leave me
With a shadow of a doubt

Cause I'm all the way up we turn up smoked it all we burnt up we burn what... fires lit flames lit from some home made ****
Two stones each chrome
Both blown
I'm coming home
That's my life and I'm grown

You lie you lie u lie
U had me even lie for u
U lie to them
U will lie to me too
U lie u lie u lie
Your words make no sense
U speak gibberish
U mix up the truth
And blow your own spot
I believe  nothing u say
Except for that it's a lie
This is not the first time u looked me in the eyes
U lie u lie u lie

Things are the way they are
Come the way they come
And go the way they go
I can only change my life
And choose which way it flows
I'll never know the ending
Till its the time for it to end
Never realized how much thing can really disappoint
And only feel it's my fault
I'm gunna start putting my thoughts in a volt
I enable even when I don't even try
It's like people look at me and get a contact high
I just want to  liv and have a good time
I can just sit and talk or we can believe we can fly
All the things I try to do.. its like life says never minds
Just starting to feel what I want and like I will always be denied
I'd like some good in my life
And about to work hard to try

Dysfunctional tech9  listen my life

I've been threw withdraws of life
Stabbed in the back I gave the devil a knife
He's the only one who put it down
Follow me smile with frowns look in these eye
Keep the depression  hungry if they find their friends u will always be alone diseption is told no one need u and it's like that till u grow old
Every care u give is twice that don't matter they will follow some one else and throw it in your face I have nothing to give with every second I waist as long as I breath as long as I stop hopeless and heartless till that noose tightly  tightens and flows my bloods stop explode my heart and inpails my brain every day I look in my closet  just drives me insane I wish I can love I can but no one can love me only my momma will be their for me... I watched  her cry when I died cam back to life and disagree for doing it twice but she nore no one else has any idea how to live with ones self

Sleep walking my life
Their but not truly
I like to find some one who doesn't want to loose me
but we just hold on loosely  
I'd like to be smothered held on too and covered
I'd like to have everything I've never had
Kept in line with smiles and cries
some day I could say I've never been so glad
Mend my heart no rubble dert or dark
Just a love with fireworks and sparks
Some one to mend my heart

Lost ones still communicate
Their souls are still around
Your love for them hurts u
Flashbacks from a sound

Lost ones still communicate
Threw dreams or a bbreeze
Goosebumps out of nowhere
From the sounds of the trees

I tell u they haunt  me
My loved ones are with me
When I close my eyes
or when I don't like what I see

I tell u they tell me
watch me threw the sky's
or their right next me
looking dead in my eyes

I still ask questions
They still second guess
I never follow my gut
I follow the gghost on my left

My best friends tthey haunt me
My ex girl is still here
some times I feel her squeeze me
a Lil will my eyes tear

I love feeling them around me
they help me see somewhat clear
I know I'm never alone
Cause they show me their souls are still near

As the wind blows
The world turns
the rivers flow
minds think
And the heart beats

In the end we always say good bye
Even if u don't want to

In the beginning  we always think it's gunna work
Even when It won't

But in the middle of things we realize what it truly is


And the only thing u can do is work hard to make it right
Get rid of it or just ride it out

Nothing is ever forever people grow a bond.. grow apart.. or don't grow at all

Every day I day dream about six feet
Even when I'm sober or even when I sleep
Everyday I wonder I think of my death
I know it's gunna be painful
Maybe not as bad as my stress
Everyday I open my eyes I rise and shine
I get out of my bed and just want to crawl right back in time
It's like life is a test knowing I want to die
Just to see how long I'll last b4 I take what's mine
Everyday I daydream about being 6ft
Everyday I wonder what it would be like with out me
Got nothing going just use to walking these streets
As good as I'm doing I close my eyes and I feel dead beat
No calls no shows not one text I've been alone for months
I give it one day no can remember only to forget
Everyday I rise and shine fake smile waist of time...
The only thing really going for me is that just one day I'm gunna take what's mine

One day I wish I
Two day I
Just one day I
Know I'll meet my make
Today no
Tomorrow  no
But what's known I'll meet them some day
Not next month maybe not next year I wish and pray
My death it to meet my maker I tried to try is to fail I gave up
But life never gave up on me
I really give up and watch all around me
I follow death and wish I can meet my maker
They gave me dreams promises of snakes stabbing me
Bighting me snapping twisting jumping threw these streams
I'm extreme I'm just willing to not breath
And now my life is just torturing me I'd die if
I really wanted to I tried but my death is giving me graditude
Really I wish for a friend but I trust nothing bit death in the end I tried this is not the end I really pray life stops playing tricks on me cause in my dreams I rot I die in hell but I live on earth wishing to meet my maker

I spend way to much time over thinking
I sit alone and my brain goes on
Good bad ether one
Drinking helps me sleep
I mind my business  and easily dream
nightmares will always come
I sleep threw them until their done
BuT my mind goes and goes and keeps going on
when I'm by my self I feel like somethings wrong
I keep busy non stop till I try and sleep
but my mind keeps stressing me
It hurts me inside ànd it won't let me be
Only when I'm alone
My mind really keeps bothering me

Only if I lift  my plate and pass it around
I had no food maybe when it comes back around
I try and lift it up but it always came strait back down
I try and do good but it's just never enough
I'm not bad I do no harm I'm just heartless and always alarmed
I keep my smile but in side you will hear what I say
I have a sad soul 85% depression  never been happy
Had it rough as an adilessont beat down everyday from a passive agretion town down pulled down alway *******
Never owned **** I had it rough as a kid sleeping under the bed so they couldn't find me I was frightened to talk  but always thought y me I close my eyes I see a man with a belt behind me cried most of my tears so young that I just sit here and wait for life's out come I'm not even fighting to live I'm just living too die

Lost in the crowd
Alone and hurt
The pain runs thick
No one is beside u
No one is with u
Not one person really cares about u
I do nothing wrong
I do nothing right
I'm so sad inside it akes my heart
This is the worst depression
The pain is insane  
I can't live with it much longer
I'm getting weaker and weaker
I just know I don't be long here

I really do miss my friend
I really hope they get better
Who knows Mable they won't talk to me
But I wish the best and would like to see them forever
I made a promise to sit and wait
I stay by my phone waiting for a phone call I
It may.never happen I love this  woman and wish we
could talk forever

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not meant for no one
Except that one the kept me focused
We met once b4 we had a romance from the start
We all have are flaws... but still hope for the best
I hope it works out and for fill  your success  
Cause I will stand by your side flesh of my flesh

Waisted in a land of misary
Tourmented by my self
Cursed till the death of me
Lonely forever ill be
Singled out from  my pain
Looking in I can't see
Hurting cause its blinding
Lost alone
I find something to love
But they will never love me
I lay in bed for days no one even questions
Not one person would ever know
I drink my self to death
Drag my self to live
Owell is how I take it
Another on bites the dust
My feelings get the best of me
Overwhelming  my self to change
I'm eaten half way in side
My heart seams to fall even more apart
Shattered from this hell
I wake up just to pass back out
Day by day I live my life
Wondering why its so bad
I can't leave alone what I like
I push and push away
My stupidity gets the worst of me
My shame brings me down
I fall apart easily but since birth I worked it out
I can not have no one in my life
Cause when I do I fall in love and drag my self back to hell

In this I am
Life is 24\7
Waisted time is just waisted time
The wind only blew in to one chime
But they all made noise
While these ball rock
Tick tock tick tock
Holes in my sole
Shredded pants with some ripped socks
Hand me downs
From my uncle B4 my pops
Slept in a hallway on the floor between two doors
Rotten language  slurring screams
Broken plates and my squashed dreams
Seen them beat I'd sneak strait under the bed
Never slept the t.v so loud I still have the ringing in my head
So tired I'd walk to school 3rd grade on all alone
I'd sleep in class it was better then home
God I loved iss  been their  almost everyday I went
Peace and quiet got some rest
My brother was made he would take it all out on me
Never had a room I had a top bunk and half a closet
Nothing was mine if it was it would be broken or gone
**** it what's yours is mine if that's how it is I'd be happy with less then a dime .. well it didn't work courts at 12 by the time I was 13 group home time all we did was play spades and fight being the only  1 out of 2 white boys we where out numbered got jumped every other day stomped on my face I learned how to fight and respect they gave
Harassed once I got home every day cops stop no reason and search
How's your brother... even in front of my mother humiliation at worst
Every  day they would stop 6% of the time I couldn't even stash the **** I I was on probation B4 I could even read that's just a little in the beginning of my time labeled the bad kid no one was aloud near me