It's unfortunate that Parisians Are very hard to bear, In terms of flash obsequiousity, They drive me to despair! And patience is an attribute I don't profess to have To mercifully administer When accents veer to Slav.
Baltics look like jellyfish, The Germans are obscene And loud and overbearing But the Swiss are very clean. Italians are a swarthy lot Who gourmandize on food And sacrifice their suavity By being impudently crude. The Spanish are no better, In fact they are probably worse, For obsessing in the blood sports I actually rate them in reverse.
Starchiness is British They're convoluted to the core, The Old Boy system's lost it's sheen Aspirants flock to it no more. The Yanks are looking slightly crass Whilst fighting foreign wars, Their pinky held up squeaky clean To call "foul" to China's flaws. China sits inscrutably Holding all the cards Waiting for the moment To strike beneath the guards.
India and Pakistan Are squabbling like kids The uproar over Kashmir Rates them lower than the Yids. The Yids are walking tightropes With Iran's nuclear ******, Whilst currying Yank approval, Eventual bombing is a must. The Dutch behave so anally They're always proven right When faced with rigid negatives They blanch with haunches tight.
But not the Argentineans They love to dance and flirt, To chase the senorita Cavorting in the scarlet skirt. The South Pacific's wallowing They're adrift from World affairs Oz's self preoccupation Mirrors Kiwi's vacant stares. Africa's way past comment Lost to heat and dust, Warfare, **** and pillage And the rest decayed by rust.
Eskimos are OK Clean living on the ice The population static, Zer-O pollution's nice!