...and she sat at the edge of the bed, talking nonsense as usual
told her to get her things, needed sleep, now this was crucial
lit up a cigarette, taking her time, wouldn’t let me breathe
kisses in tow and my half naked *** just wanted her to split.

Another free bird, bobbing her head, refusing to quit
soaking the sheets without knowing I am already out of seed
you are a duck of another season and winter is not the spring
even if you spring back into my mattress you still gotta leave.

I never promised them the world, but I’m still a man of action
get my Barry White on and give it to them in a night of passion
never claimed to be James Bond if all they want is satisfaction
now if I broke the rubber ducky in 9 months they’d be contractions.

And they always got it and I always kept my Rolling Stones ways
and the more they loved it, they chained themselves to my bed
never caught an easy fish even if I already had them on the hook
I just had to reeled them in, could always tell by the way they look.

So here goes their poem, to the vamps never scared of the dawn
leaving marks on my neck, in the chair, desk, sofa and beyond
widows of solitude, promiscuously married, girlfriends of seconds
the queens of elevator ***, that turn my heavenly bed into an inferno.

Once upon a time in an alternate universe not too long ago
I met the cheekiest babe from the other side of the world.
She went by Smurfette, she loved to call me Papa Smurf
and Vanity wasn’t gay, the ******* just loved himself too much.

She always sat by the window, detoxicating herself of verses
cranking out a few lyrics, scoping the city in the trenches.
Of the love we waged never wavering and waving a white flag
“I’m gonna put you to bed” were all our wars went to die.

But I was more than alive, inside the land from down under
called her Daphne the Nymph, the voluptuous Greek Goddess.
Wanted to raise little Koalas together in our Kangaroo farm
in every kiss we traded souls, in every breath we lost our lives.

And we gained them again back when the Jitneys were blue
our sweat-drenched bodies overtaken by some strange voodoo.
Every ship we embarked on was lost in the Atlantic without return
James Bean captained our vessel, holding it together with crazy glue.

In New York City locked lips inside a phone booth, it was euphoria
she was already born a Queen since she hailed from Astoria.
Our Bohemian Rhapsody blended like Cheech & Chong on a ******
her pouty lips, ****** smile, five years later how can I forget her?

Her voice, beautiful sparrow, vocal chords stone carved like no other
and yet normally speaking she sounded like the Crocodile Hunter
Soaked the landscape of her essence, remembrance without a beat
the song she wrote about us, plays in my heart eternally on repeat.

There was a Rock band playing hard but I didn’t hear them
flashes of lights in the screaming crowd but I couldn’t see them
only your face, drenched in beauty beaming in the middle
pulled your curls over your right ear so I could talk to your dimples..

...then I stood there in your eye’s gaze, swirling in a maze amazed
in wonderland, minus a white rabbit and a white man in a top hat
to get back to the land of the sane, to hear my name in your voice
was insane, no matter how many drinks we already had.

Bohemian eyes, green lights, curly black hair with shades of brown
condensing in your forest sight, setting fire to the entire Amazon
hanging on to the ring that barely bitterly bites your bottom lip,
trying to squeeze that melancholic bohemian smile in-between.

Ripped jeans at the knees, cinnamon skin, low-cut blouse
rockin’ to the guitar’s string, to string me along a flower child
promised to write you a poem while in my mind you were still fresh
even if I didn’t kissed your lips, with my skin I touched your breath.

Then we talked about things while the eavesdropping moon was near
you had a man, it was clear, but that went in and out the other ear
maybe I’ll never see you again, so I’ll take that with a shot of sorrow
because it was no longer yesterday bohemian girl, it was tomorrow.

August 22, 2003

Contractions
retractions
regrets
every twenty seconds apart
now counting ten
write them down
lets retrace these steps again
he is bustin' to get out
and needs more room to stretch
I know you are in pain
just take a deep breath
we already made it this far
we need to finish this race
because you are a cradle of life
and a vessel that holds my own
it was only nine months ago
that we decided to conceive
flesh and blood
that binds you and me
and ties us like a rope
in a sweet afternoon
on a nest without a tree
we ceased to be two
and went on to be three.
Now that we finally made it here
just breathe easy my dear
the worst is almost done
and the best is yet to come
I'll watch you like an angel
while God delivers our son
while my princess tries to sleep
and my little devil is to be born.
"is he crowning yet?"
She would ask
time and time again
I try not to be terrified
at the sight of what's taking place
liquids steps
careful measures
not enough space
push until you brake
as you turn into a grape
still beautiful as the day we met
when I came to your table
and waited for something you would say
so I could conjugate your name
in adjectives and verbs
words of love
sonnets of grace
when our puzzle fell into place
and it spelled:
I
will
forever
love
you
miss
Rivera.
From the end to beginning
from the algae to the fishes
like your kisses
like the long waits
like the eternal months
whether it rained or snowed
like our futile fights
like our happy cries
I heard you through the grapevine
I always heard you both
you have made me proud
and I hope the same I have done
my queen without a crown
here's your present
here's your child
welcome to the world
our baby boy Josh.

Esta boca es mía
nací con ella, me crié con ella
aprendí a hablar y a conjugar adjetivos
palabras, sujetos y predicados
escupiendo cosas que nunca debí decir
masticando en ella la vida como menta
saboreando cada momento, cada prosa
con mi boca la que no procesa
lo que de la mente llega
mas aun sale al desnudo
como un bebe al recién nacer.
De mi boca
la que muerde siente y se arrepiente
la que delira a cada rato
la que conoce un vocabulario sin sentido
rima frases sin diccionario
porque si no existen se las inventa
hasta que lleguen a existir
casi así como el Latín
un idioma al extinguir
una lengua sin domesticar
diciendo cosas sin sugerir
sin ninguna delicadeza
que interrumpe sin excusar
sea mentira o sea ******
es una boca sin conciencia
que deja de ser boca
en el momento que empieza hablar.

[Mi boca tiene sed, un receso.]

[Ahem]

[Como decía...]

Talvez tengo una fijación oral
sea por angustia o ansiedad
mi boca no conoce nicotina
ni mariscos ni invertebrados
que se sacuden en el piso
pero si una buena botella de vino
y un trago de whisky,
mejor ni hablar...

Sabes que mi boca se fue de gira
y de paso conoció a otras
enternecidas, endurecidas por los años
secuestradas por amores baratos
sin ningún tipo de amnistía
mas para mi boca fue un contrabando
ladrona de besos prestados
que suben de precio en el mercado
en los burdeles de los gitanos
y de mis fantasías cuando ya no estas.

Y es así que me quede sin boca
cuando paso hacer tuya
porque no hay boca con mas levadura
no hay boca con mas fortuna
tan pesimista y tan conformista
y al final de cuenta tan habladora
que se resbala en mi camisa
bajando de botón a botón
subiendo denuevo
se esconde y la encuentro
visitando a la mía,
la mía misma
que después de tantos años
dejo de ser boca
porque ya no se conforma
ni se entiende ni se toca
si no te besa a ti.

Kim: Letter to the Wind

Bronze beauty from the far east
how are you?
It’s been years since you crossed my mind
but I still do remember
those slanted almond eyes
and that enchanting full moon smile.

Impeccable.

That’s how I’ll describe your slim body
and your laughter:
The most beautiful song
I ever had the pleasure to hear
3 chords, 3 letters, 1 being.

Kim.

Pink roses and wet leaves
I imagined you leaving in every kiss.

I used to beat your boyfriend
at basketball pretty bad
in order to impress you.

But you already knew that didn’t you?

Or how I used to pass by the same hallway
every day as an excuse to see you
even if it made me late for class.

Remember when I drew you?
You almost fainted of emotion.
A blank sheet of paper
had never been so lucky.

You had my heart in an Origami figure.

Impeccable your hair that flowed
like an endless waterfall
all the way down to the floor.

And your button nose
and your pillowed cheeks
and your gorgeous full
bloom lips: impeccable.

I used to **** a whole afternoon sighing you.

I would watch you stroll by
with your friends and your books
and I couldn't decipher a single thing
said by you, by your mouth as you waved
hello and goodbye all in the same frame.

I couldn't structure a sentence
without spelling your name.

Kim.

I still got the note you wrote me
three lines long with the faded ink
and the only picture of us
that never saw the light of day.

If you ever knew Kim May my dear
that I dreaded August when it came near
and even after all these long years
I still carry your perfume in my bloodstream.
You had my thoughts wrapped
in a tightly-knit Kimono.

You lived in my dreams for a record
Three Hundred and Sixty-five days
and even if I never see you again
I still have to thank you
for teaching me to appreciate beauty
beyond my wildest imagination.

Your sweet essence, impeccable.
To see you blush: indescribable.
To feel you breathe: irreplaceable .
Exotic princess: untouchable.

Your face and your name
carved their own place
in my memories with a steel pen.

And as far as I am concerned,
you are the only one with the name
your name, not anybody else's
whom letter by letter
I could caress, word for word
wistfully dreaming
to get under your skin
the one and only
Kim.

Yours forever, Ottis.

The hours we spend are as little as you.
Our time is borrowed from other times.
Things could have been different
you would never leave my side
not for a walk to where I am not
among people I don't know
or to places I don't go.
With me here is where I need you
when I am awake I breathe you
the fruit of me both asleep
both smiling, laughing wondering
who are you dreaming with?
Is it me or is it your mom?
Probably both like it used to be
in other times we never borrowed
I wish I could have them back
and never have to question
when we are not together
if it is out of sight and out of mind
when it comes to you
in that little head of yours
in that little world of yours
that consist of candy
toys and slides
in that short attention span
is there room for your dad?
Do I come knocking in your thoughts?
Ready to pick you up
we'll go anywhere you want
to see the fish, to the beach
we'll play "daddy wins"
we'll play Hide and Seek all day long
to stretch the hours on the clock
to hope that it never dawns
and you never have to leave
and I will never have explain to you
why are things the way they are
but one thing you must know
that I always loved your mom
through tears, I cared through pain
I was still there throughout the years
my heart never gave out
this flame was never extinguished
this love never tapped out
through it all it persisted
and it has just grown fonder
with these years as you get older
it will always be there
until I am six feet under
because of you
my little boy
my little punk
my little Josh
you are walking
talking
breathing
living proof
of how much we loved each other...
and how much we love you.