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Natasha Trullia Apr 2015
I don't care much about this night
And the rest of everything else
For now I'm infinitely happy,
Really,
And I don't ask for much more than this.
For tonight I found someone
Far from a madding crowd,
Who's interested in the little circles I draw
In the bare sand by my feet.
Of why I do not know,
But the attention,
Oh how giddy I feel, like a canary.
All I wish to do now is cradle her soft face
On my shoulder
As I hear her quiet Cantonese
Listening to anything but.
Laying there with her I'll peer into her almond eyes
And find love, lust,
Amongst other sins.
Natasha Trullia Dec 2014
i.
eating chocolate-chip fudge cake
heart racing pounding
surrounded with flesh
suffocated, constricted, fighting,
living
for guilty pleasures yearning
digestive juices to action
there is purpose, conviction
the food eaten, none
calories wasted heat not raised
such first world problems, is control

ii.
guilty pleasures
a woman walks up to you
her body for sale
she asks for a chance
to take your money
you quoth bill, she accepts
judgment, opinion, cravings,
the touch sweat confuses for
not loving back
you’re still lost
not having a girlfriend anyway
curb, not succumb to such drive
you’re not forgiven the lonelyness
copying the rest of us and marketing

iii.
relative definitions for everything
no one agrees disagrees
trikha tomia stalemate
money, living, dignity,
your sweatshop is not mine
the immigrants need new life
in the sweat shop they work
for pre-school
there is dignity no dignity yes
but also a body for sale
or a fat man eating his cake
Natasha Trullia Dec 2014
The circumstance of chance is never that
Things are set right,
That your life will flow like the gentle squall
Across a field of gold.
The circumstance of chance is what you make of it
And how you chose to live with it.
You can blame your father for his house,
Or your mother for her abandon.
But never does it matter, I tell you again.
The circumstance of chance is too much to take
But if you stepped out of it all,
And understood that
And that your mother was terribly afraid of the world around her,
Or that your father too driven by fear for the lives he is responsible for,
It is only then that you realize
Love isn't given away freely to anybody,
That the man next to you needs a soft smile
To live his life another day
Or that you need yourself on the darkest of days.
Natasha Trullia Dec 2014
Reading what I just wrote is sickening.
Words strung together, in cohesion,
I read it again, for narcissism.
Such a mirror it is for my vanity!

For of the random chances that led me here,
Unique in time surely,
But why must I place such weight
To wit, of die strewn
And landing this way?
Natasha Trullia Dec 2014
So said the black bird,
"Why must I fly?"
"Should not the sun
Burn my wings?"
But such questions are
Not to be spoken of.
A flight of fancy
Broken to doubts,
Like the gentle fish
Who wished to walk
And think.
Natasha Trullia Dec 2014
Oh qualia, you cover my eyes,
And hold me chained to my lies.
Subject as it stands, the world
Is in my head,
I’d wish the solips sold away their rights.

Fine as she was I met her one day,
A pretty lass of such inky hair.
She turned me down, as it stood,
And so I began
The walk of a thousand woods.

For every man that stood,
Sat in his head the world
Veiled in black.

No such thing you’d think!
But quiet are the felled trees
Of woods never seen.

But hear me now when I say,
His pen is key to my malady.
For a scribe he is
Of the veil that he sees.

When you read those marks
Of this pen,
You see what he sees,
Reduced to his truth,
The many casts of die strewn
Of hands from up above.

‘Simple are your words that are true’, you say,
And ask of piqued voice,
‘What reason be for your melancholy?’

Ah! How my woe does hide
In qualia’s great bright light!

I wish that the solips were right,
That in my head alone stood the world.
But no! but no!

In my head stands a world of broken truth.

That I would not rise to smell her hair
As the morning light struck right,
Is my tragedy.
Oh! Another man’s delight!

And not a thousand of his words
For qualia,
Could have fed my life’s zest.
Natasha Trullia Dec 2014
Touch me,
And tell me that you love me.
That you'll never leave me,
And always stand by me.
I promise you the same,
If you will,
For it's hard enough to stand alone
And stare down a rocky ledge.
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