The last time I saw you
We were trying to blend orange into green
In a huge painting for a fund raising auction.
Surprisingly, I see you again in yet another colorful adventure,
In a dark room with bright blinking lights where
We gave 80's dance moves to pop rock songs.

Then we plunged into the night and let
Our laughter and high pitched voices pierce the chilly air.
We balanced our books as we hurriedly jaywalked
Through the 10 pm traffic jam.

Though the ads in the mall were right at our faces,
You pulled me to a big blue aquarium
To marvel at the goldfish and guppies
Staring at our shiny eyes the same way.
We tried to understand the math
On how our corals cost 3 times more than the States
Even if we have 20 times more species than them.
We couldn't, but we swore to each other we'd stop it.

And as we shared a glass
Of too much ice and no more tea
We fought back passion filled tears
When we told each other story after story
Of our government's inadequacies.
We argued, but finally agreed that
It's not over population, it's urban planning;
It's not poverty, it's inequality;
They're not imbeciles, just ignorant;
And our nation maybe unfortunate,
But our trust is not in fortune, but in grace.

Then as we bid each other goodbye,
Unsure of when will we even meet again,
I prayed to God that
If our school chaplain becomes the president
I'd like him to appoint you and me as the
environment and finance secretaries.
I thanked Him too because
Now for the first time in my life,
I'm not ashamed, I'm not embarrassed but
I'm happy
To be a geek
Because you are with me.

You know the rags and riches
I went the other way around
I thought that I could handle it
I wouldn't make a sound.
And I thought that it'd be okay
If you loved me more and more
But I wasn't good enough
And I guess I was a bore.
But today was her birthday
The first time she wasn't here
You couldn't have picked it worse
To tell me, 'Just move on now, dear'.
So when you told me, I sat and thought
I've lost everyone so close
That I ***** up everything
I'm not fine, nobody knows.
I was eating dinner with my mom right next to me
Said 'I'm not feeling right'
"Oh, you'll be fine honey."
sigh Nah, this'll be a long night.
I crawled up in my bunk
To sit, lay down and cry
Repeated bad mantras
About how bad I want to die.
"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry,"
Oh, I said it a million times
I'm sick of all this now,
Just hoping I'll be fine.
Trudge into the shower
To wash sorrows away
Play some music loud
Maybe forget about the day.
"Things are getting weird, things are getting tough
Nothing's making sense but you keep on looking up
They tell you to be true, you're trying every day
You keep it on the real, still you gotta find a way.
To make your mama happy, to make your papa proud
You gotta turn it up but all you hear is turn it down.

Sometimes I wanna cry and throw the towel in
They try to beat me down but I'll take it on the chin
And everywhere I go the people are the same
They just wanna know that everything will be OK.
Things are getting rough, turn it back around
You gotta turn it up when they tell you tone it down."*
With this song on repeat
I work it up to say
To tell you I'll be done
And that this is the final day.
I have a few kind words
After one long horrid time
I mean the kindest way
*******, and in the worst kind.

The walls drip yellow.
My teacup is ridden
with thoughts driven
from buzzing and Queens.
They claim glory.

A skyscraper tastier
than dew from street sewer
with gray, AM haze
as people jut sides
to climb, slip snidely
atop, cut voices in lies,
rushed by without flicker,
a thought for
ever-blackened drop
of dark roasted, cig-toasted
coffee drowned by a cup.

So, taste it now,
your lips of grounds
in café chair
on dirtied walk
is unaware
of rays in sky
and earth below
and earth below
the pounding thump
that make World go.

Grabbed honey-stuck tips
from a table of glass
and sweet, sutured lips
from ignorance.