Empty bodies trapped in coffins
Their souls want to escape
One after the other
The breathless people go into the funeral home
Into the ground
Into the dark
Perhaps there have been one too many deaths
Too many relics left
I'm beginning to deteriorate from the inside-out
Mother speaks to me about how someday
I will be at her funeral
Weeping into my makeup drenched tissues
I can't find the guts to tell her
It will be the other way around

I lay awake in my coffin
Waiting for my family to bury me
Along with all my thoughts and doubts
I am no longer breathing
For a few hours I am another empty body
And it doesn't hurt
Oh god for once
I do not hurt

I wake up

i. because I spend hours thinking of what would be "safe" to wear
ii. because no matter how I dress, I'm still stuck with the fear of being attacked
iii. because I'm taught the way I dress causes ****, not rapists
iv. because I get told I have no self respect when I wear "revealing" clothing
v. because I'm taught to hold keys between my fingers when I walk alone
vi. because I'm tired of people telling me "I'm asking for it"

i. do not confuse love and obsession. love is only real if you have a connection on both sides of the relationship.
ii. it's okay to not always be happy. occasional sadness is healthy for the soul.
iii. life is not fair, at all. you can spend years thinking you're in love with someone while they spend years never thinking about you.
iv. do not treat yourself as others treat you. you are who you are, nothing will change that, you might as well love yourself.
v. love is rare. people get married all the time but that doesn't mean they love each other. sometimes we just get lonely.
vi. feed yourself. your body is a beautiful flower that you must fill with food and nutrients, why would you purposely try to destroy something so wonderful?
vii. maybe we were in love, maybe we weren't. either way we're *******. if we were in love then something must have torn us apart, but what? can it be fixed? if we weren't in love, which I'm guessing we weren't, you moved on to another girl who let you wither away.

I would never let my gorgeous flower wither.

I tried letting you go
But you left footprints
On everything I own

I can't go in my room
Without seeing that *******
Stain on my carpet
I can't sleep in my basement
Or play ping pong anymore
I can't even write ******* poetry
Without you somehow
Creeping into my words
You want me to leave so badly
Why would you leave so many memories?

You're selfish and ******
But you know
I am too
You're a liar and a crier
And I love that about you

I've been thinking too much of you
Your name starts a quake in my being
If I had a choice
I would remove my soul
Just so I could forget about you
I don't care
I don't care if every single ******* day
I feel the gentle vibration of the numbness
Spreading throughout my body
Just take my soul away
Take away all my memories
I want to start over
Please let me start over

I'm extremely terrified
That someday you will see me
And think of me as your biggest regret
I have a chilling fear
That one day you'll forget my name
Or the color of my eyes
And my worst nightmare
The thing that keeps me up until 5am
Is that there may be a time
That you'll forget how much
I loved your nose
And how I fell in love
With your hair in the morning
I'm worried that there will be a day
When you wake up
And forget the things
I tried so hard for you remember

The source of my unhappiness
Does not begin with the things
That have gone wrong in my life
It begins with my need for attention
My need for everything to go right
I swear you could give me the world
And I'd ask for the galaxy

There are no more words
Left in this frame
Of a person

Lately
All I have heard
Is the loud roar
Of criticism
Coming from those
I care about most

I'm crooked
The stars that once blossomed
Inside me
Have turned to shards
Of wasted hopes

When I was younger
My mother taught me
To always apologize
If I do something wrong

At five years old
I did not realize
How many mistakes
I would make

How much longer
Do I say I'm sorry
Until I break?