wish I could deliver my dreams
addiction relationships go recalcitrant
incinerate by the summer heat beams
any idea gone dormant, extinct ambition

wish I could survive by myself
tired of depending on expensive medicine
I can see the colors without no help
this pressure tosses me in a spoke of oblivion

if you think you're beautiful
i don't want to win that lottery
take it all:
the baby,
eyes
and mirror
they all have
impurity and you eat hearts
like a delicacy

while i'm alone
at my house searching for my
glasses i cast away
because i couldn't
look at you any longer

get it away from me
empty it out my eyes
i'm not brave enough
to scoop these orbs
out of their sockets
empty it out
let them harden
into rocks
the crumble like sand

watch you from far away
as the sun slinks beneath the trees
got some
bad luck
a bad body
a curse in love
like it follows me hopelessly like a ghost
wanting to join the living again
you wink at me from your camaro
like it means something
in your gucci flippy floppies
and i giggle like it means something
two strangers never to see each other again
autumn will inherit ohio soon
me promising i won't be scared
of having air as the infill of my arms
and time is a stream with purposeful arrows
who am i to be your burden

with respect to your hair man
play with it, been living large
so you ain't got time to cut it
put it in a ponytail that puts mine to shame

it's a little weird talking about your hair
seagulls make a birds nest on it
it's a hair song, sing songs along the cold air
picasso paint it well, redoing the blue three hundred times

police pull ya over because of it
sometimes ya skin color makes it knappy
like the way it settles on my blue jeans
when you rest your head on my lappy

this time of year is haunted
by *****, and i love every newsfeed
with shiny pictures and i love dressing
up like myself

want to dance with you
and take a chance with you
melt my brain out and drink
then take tomorrow off

and im addicted lol

the more she says daddy
the more milk she gets
puts a show on for her daddy yeah

takes shelter in a five million dollar home
licks her up in lapping waters
throws her in the tub fitting eight people

august burns away slowly
but these memories don't
and probably never will

so, hi
it’s been halloween for five nights
in a row and i haven’t
processed anything at all
the flash of life has been too fast
and i haven’t called you yet

when the sun burns my skinny
skin off and there's nothing but
the heart beating for all to watch
the fingerprints you leave on me
compliments like poison, an agent
of all my sighs, eyes sore from first moving

quit treating me like a girl
with all your sentimental online messages
like you're afraid to touch my bones
mysteries too cheap to come by
wings to thin and fragile to fly with
holding on til July

because my sanity's getting loose

a pinprick, a spider crawling
down your spine raises the hairs
on your neck, itsy bitsy details
matter and questioning reality
as it stands when no one else is

oh ya mans, fight the power
the peace from within don’t come
from a god-lord-thing shoving us into
a box and no facebook can ever
hold me back

Fell in love last friday
with a non-binary star
woke up and brushed my teeth
with sunglasses on thinking
of them

white shots of hail and the windows
jeweled from the rain
a hot week and hot nights
followed by a hot star
and sheets of rains from grey clouds
changing

She's a little light in the world
likes to dance to make ends meet
and likes her cat and me and dollars
I like to cover as much light as I can
but she always shines through

speaking to you as if i'm speaking to the dead
don't believe in any woman besides you
think and say i'm a disaster, you're probably right

first words spoken since i turned 16
wonder if i stayed home i wouldn't end up
like a longsword made out of dents

i'm moving quiet through the rain and the night
creeping but i'm not shy, just not interested
these days, just that my mom is the only woman
who can change me

fell into a hole of myself--
i know too much

a bag of cheetos in an ill-fitting suit
runs the country - made the mistake

of reading what it had to say
awhile ago

all in the stirring of a feather
my ego, my ignorance

smattering albiet aggressively in an annoying
aggregate, dog-bark bird-squacking

grating my effing ears
these 7am mornings

with eyes brighter than the sun
at things we thought were once childish
maybe we're too caught up
in things that don't really matter
I must have forgotten
these things happiness was the truth
we were searching for
tell me now, a spark was not enough
we have firewood, we have fuel
and yet no fire comes
life is kind of dumb right now
spending all my time online
maybe within I'm too guarded
to know the difference
between trust and vulnerability

blue diamond eyes
hand reaching back at me
out in the feels-tingle-fields

country music isn't like country
these days
murica isn't quite the same as she was either

got too many reals, i just want to feel
too many outfits for the places i go
gold like an arrow to praise the nights
coming through the green-yellow days
dauntless and swift

want to flex like a child—
here comes the trail
and the feels that feel real
sit out in a tank top
for the inner freedom til the sun
spears the ocean and the moon rises
this blasting heat is the way April
wants to leave us

gucci on my feet
dior on my outfit
something about making
all the money back

busy windshield wipers, red light.
messing with dating apps
while you’re talking
about buying black ops 4

forget what my purpose is
misted in the same drizzling cloud
fogging up the windows
the funny noises you make

when you laugh
dispel all the monsters
away in my mind
philosophy away, leaving an echo

America, she bleeds for a full week
fireworks, freedom, long sighs and holy nights
spend days with the couchless and meek
then light one up, sink between in her thick thighs

underage trickery, plastic cards
and daddies to sneak in clubs
lauv on the radio and fake love throbbing hard
forget ancient grudges, clean cars with new suds

party again, launching fire in the sky
avoid the cops and pray salvation
don't come around too soon, twilight and the sea
bug guts on my screen, drinking, repeat until the sun's return

in love with danileigh’s music

laura

lol

lol

you didn't quite break me in two yet
the slow nights walking around
you not taking me out on dates
never bothered me at all

hope you're not
giving the memories away to the birds
my hair is getting too long, been living lately
the shoes at the door, i'm running outside barefoot
you say i look fine
and everything is so simple around you
i wonder where to give your love away
because there's still a part of me that feels for you

had my birthday last year, the worst day of my life
probation over dumb things
picked up poetry, you say you love it
alone in the house without you

let me tell you what i love about you
love to think of all the possibilities
my knife could so brazenly roam across
the surface of skin so glossy my own
gets tingles just thinking about it

let me tell you what i love about you
we love to make fun of the oceans, and how
boring life is without our own viciousness
our very blood is hedonistic, is it not?
swim away, edge closer to me while i edge closer to you

and just like that
wind blows and the sun’s out
the money’s gone
and the trap is on
phone’s a mirrored pond
an infinite void to jealousy
and just like that
it’s all gone, always gone

just look ‘round

and I'll mess up my life
lie as a second smattering of truth
tell me what you got
before I put you in a plot
in my mind's grave

can't walk no more with conviction
for lost souls trying to make a connection
you know years ago I wouldn't hesitate
to cut someone's breaks and smash their plates
for you I would have put their face on a sleeve

and I'll mess up my life
but I don't need your help no more
up late but I got work at four in the morning
done mourning, ain't old love
I got other things to waste my time on

i live with it injected into me
my phone listens to me more than
i do the people on the other side
and it gives me ads about my depression
got a state that’s leaking it all into the ground
and ran by a nuclear man
just who is the patriarchy? people
who hate science and the ability
to choose what others like

maybe one day i’ll grow ****, you just wait
before the earth sheds itself
of humans

i want to eat you
let no one else have you
tie you to my bedpost
and leave the house for the whole day

uneventful day graces
what might one say when all
the cookies are gone
make merry with marrow narrowness

the slave’s in my bedroom with
window blinds open for all to see
in shocking stark gestures
and through showering trees

my dear, where has all the poetry gone
i might answer, where the cookies
and love went, the stubbornness
of push and shove, you speak when i say you can

beg when i want you to

Spurs in a grass hill
wind blowing up your skirt
honey and money
sweet and selfish

i like you touching my body
and i like touching yours
love oddity bright city
and glistening sun gilded skin

i need my fishing rod
when im around you
need the compliments that i might
complete your outfit by the end of night

in the cloister, we had coffee
talking something about the soul
today in the cold but sunlit court
with a good girlfriend of mine
is when it struck me:

a pretty Christian girl kind of day
before me, a butterfly kind of day
winging the dark fantasies away
start obeying and getting good habits
would have stayed had i any money
to get the rest of my college degree
kind of day

filling your heart with my replacements
to match my false interpretations
of your expectations of me

i’m a kitty cat, a minx,
a playful mistress
your enigma, the sphinx
and my fur’s wet

****** into water,
trying to escape the rain
or the plunge,
happiness is a stain

the more ya pet me
the more i bite
the more you pick me up
the more my tail twitches in spite

if today you drop me
i’ll love you
but if today you love me
i’ll hate you

want to throw ya in designers
tear the streets up, just you and me
you know what i'm thinking
go to bed wearing your white tee

our loving's like super bae though
hearts been broken before
and our feet's kind of sore
losing control, shades of grey

blind against the world, rainbow casting
its ghost across the cloudy sky's sweep
how can we leap when we limping?
how can we laugh when we weep?

only together, dont tell ya friends
i have a soft spot in my insides for you

for the record, yeah.
i’m as flat as a board
and sometimes i get breast envy

when i feel super girly
my best friend has two pillows
that i love to rest my head on

i know it’s not universal with everyone,
but i love ‘em, squeeze ‘em, slap ‘em,
feel how soft they are, kiss them

maybe i love my best friend too much but
i feel like this poem is going in a direction
i would rather us to not go in

do it for the ***** Laura
yes
sore for all the reasons
because sometimes i want
a **** that destroys jeans
and all forms of pants unequivocally
feel powerful

workout the body
and rip the peanut butter lid off the jar
proclaim to the universe
i have something that you should all stare
at

i
go home
and
eat chips and salsa
and
think nothing of it

expecting the ride of a lifetime
hype guy with the pimped out kith jeans
and the shoes that cost god knows what
but he pulls me off of him so he can
carefully unlace them, while i get drier
than a desert waiting for him

like, ***?
show up in sweats and a hoodie so i can
steal it next time, man

never meant to fight ya
now that you're gone
i know why i hated when
everything felt right
because when i was with you
i couldn't help but lip bite
for all the wrongs and bruises
in a blue bedroom alone
back to feeling nothing
not even the sweet sting
of a lip bite

I'm a table, I'm a bench
I'm an appliance with many uses
I'm a dead girl in the front seat
of your Cadillac

Was hoping to get dicked down
by your Master Sword but
cell connection's kind of spotty
I'll clean it with my pics because I want to eat

spoiling your paradise
tie me down and school me
make me clean your mess
is this what you want?

Fridays, fridays, getting there
winds with their fulminations full forced
an array of a slow crawl and taunting sun
just want to go flex

glazing the mind, to downcast to longing
stepping over cracks on morning roads
past neighbor’s verandahs - filled with
sensory overloads

day long meaningless
the monday machine rolls
i like the way the sun is
and it’s cold out and it’s raining

something assails the daybreak
fluttering in the chutes
abstraction in the boring monotony

wispy, hazy and ambivalent
by you, wondering what you’ll do next
while i wait for the mystery
to open up in the swirled world

Sad night tonight, stay up late
on the weekends to make them last

no i can’t change you or her
God’s wrath is disillusioning you
from hearing yourself or me
or all death’s friends

you think you can fix her
a thousand times like each plate
she’s thrown at you and each fist
she’s swung at you

and i’m telling you God won’t remember
the woman that she used to be
and the counselors won’t help you or her
but you’re a fixer man

can’t fix your back from that one time
she hit it with your old baseball bat
but you’ll fix her one day, right?

No I'm not jealous, you are
millenial me seeing green with that
type of money, I'd hit the cams
if I didnt look ugly in my head at least
for a shot at that kind of money

maybe I should deal drugs instead?

vain fluff, temporary garbage
954 pieces of trash is too much
to pick up

let the most dazzling of sunlight
and cool shade get along in peace
let the blue fat flies settle on the miles
of back alleyways full of dumpsters

veiled threats from anonymous faces
who are apparently experts in poetry
let it all rot under a gibbous moon

a ghost white fluffy fluff **** ball of fur
kneading on my thigh
want to smack it and knock it off
but it’s purring and it’s warm

my friends have the cute
meow meow meows
and feeds it a lot so I pet the kitty
when I’d rather fall asleep or pet you

Soon, it jumps off the bed
presumably to race up and down
the stairs at night, watch the ghost
floof away— its fur hiding its legs
and looking like a hovering white cloth

don't let my feelings keep you
from the rest of your life
this forty and a lot of reasons
why i'm hiding away

when you wake, i'll be gone away
and you'll do what you like without me
i don't have any problems but honest to god
you got it, your walk, the hills, that wooden
cello you played a little when i was over

but i politely listened through it all
'cause i don't know enough about music
to know if it sounded good

our quiet rooms
compartmentalized
like louis vuitton
to basic calvin kliens
secretly living the best
of our lives
under the stars
and each other’s tired eyes

got a bad girl, some money and no patience
the princess descends upon the land
i had to throw on some sunglasses
rain's pouring coming up above the sidewalks
need to drain fluid from my jaws where the sewers at

can't even explain and be subtle about it
you accumulate spite
like dandruff on window sills
hair-scattered-brain, midnight's the new afternoon daylight kills
well i'm a killer, piling up marrow against
the red fences just to get over you

tattoos covered like im a grown up
stay in no motivation, suika game on the switch, i'm a player
blankets igdolidgaf, issue pronouns like some kind of prayer
foreign, i got no name but
quit

asking me what's up like you haven't ignored me forever?
that's deep lore, obscure facts
just know i've been writing an hour every day
send me a notepad and i'll write you a list
of all the sweet nothing bads you did to me

only energy i have is lying around
forgetting everything besides the color of your shirt
maybe i'll get a license in the States
but i'm 25 surviving without it
bass so loud hair sticks to the ceiling, water fairy
wants me bad, so i'm not really sorry for you

i guess i still miss you
but talking’s for functioning people
when we stand stark
at the vertices of our dog days
we don’t say anything at all
in uncharted autumn
we still have a little sun left
trying to make sense
of the irregularities that compact
this relationship
into tiny little boxes we check
every once and awhile
ostentatiously